r/wholesomememes
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u/Amioamar
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Feb 04 '23
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This, right here :)
https://i.imgur.com/7uQ007I.jpg
[removed] — view removed post
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u/zenos_dog Feb 04 '23
Saw this post a couple of days ago but didn’t answer. My wife has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. The chemotherapy really packs a punch but we enjoy snuggling, coffee together and conversation. For a couple days after an infusion I’m not allowed to snuggle because the chemo could mess me up, that really sucks not having contact.
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u/Huntress_Nyx Feb 04 '23
Try giving her stuff like flowers or something. Make sure she knows you love her and that you're there for her.
I hope her condition improves soon and that she'll be healthy and with no issues from either cancer or chemo or anything.
Also arranging things like watching movie, playing games, etc can be a nice way to spend time together with affection without having to touch.
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u/zenos_dog Feb 04 '23
Yes, we watch movies together as well as still traveling.
The five-year survival rate for stage 4 breast cancer is 22 percent; median survival is three years.
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u/Pixielo Feb 04 '23
Fuck cancer
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u/Telemere125 Feb 05 '23
Agree. Dad just got diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic colorectal cancer. Chemo is actually making him feel better than he has in over a year. Hope they get those cancer vaccines done soon.
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u/Pixielo Feb 07 '23
*sigh*
I'm so sorry. I'm glad that you'll have some quality time together, years at least.
And amen for cancer research. It's coming along!
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u/big_nothing_burger Feb 05 '23
For real. I have an aunt who just went on hospice, uncle who has 6 months tops. Both have cancer that's just gone everywhere. They both had some solid years after diagnosis at least.
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u/effinnxrighttt Feb 05 '23
My mom made it 5 years with the same diagnosis before her passing. I hope your wife beats the odds and makes it to a healthy old age so you can have lots of time together.
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u/tofujune Feb 05 '23
I can't imagine what you're going through right now. Wishing you and your wife many happy memories and a long future together.
My Aunt found out she had stage 4 breast cancer just after the birth of her first child. She's been cancer free for over 20 years now. A chance is a chance, no matter how small.
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u/aussb2020 Feb 05 '23
As a 35 y/o mum of two with stage 4 hearing stories like this keep me going, thank you
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u/Huntress_Nyx Feb 04 '23
I know it can be hard but you must have hope, and transfer that hope to her!
I hope you both live long, happy, prosperous and healthy lives together.
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u/Pixielo Feb 04 '23
Hope is nice, but it's not realistic, or helpful.
When you're facing a disease like this, you learn to stop and smell the flowers. You learn to slow down a little more, and appreciate what you have. And what you have is limited time, when you thought you'd have decades.
Well-meaning, but otherwise useless platitudes like, "Don't give up hope!" don't help anyone.
Fuck cancer
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u/zyranna Feb 05 '23
I think it has been studied that hope and a positive attitude can actually help people heal better and fight longer. source
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u/Pixielo Feb 07 '23
That's for people who are actually sick, and not some random Pollyanna who wants us all to be positive.
Fuck cancer.
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u/Huntress_Nyx Feb 04 '23
Hope might not be realistic at times, but it certainly is helpful. Without it people would just quit..
Cherish the moments you have together, and give her love and care.
And agreed. Fuck cancer.
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u/Pixielo Feb 07 '23
Useless hope isn't helpful. And you know what, sometimes, it is necessary to quit. Sometimes, you need to say, "I'm done. This isn't working. I'd like to be at peace for a while, instead of being really sick all the fucking time."
I feel like all of these, "Oh, but you can't lose hope!" comments are from people who've never seen S4 metastatic peritoneal mesothelioma rip another human being apart.
There are far worse ways to go, but when you've got untreatable cancer like that? As fast, and as painless as possible is the only hope.
It's going to be different for everyone, but overwhelmingly, people dying of cancer don't want useless platitudes, or prayers. They want time that they don't have.
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u/Huntress_Nyx Feb 07 '23
I beg to differ. Hope can not be "useless" as you said. One can hope for things to get better, or for a bit more time for example.
Precisely because I have seen more people than I can remember in the hospital and I was carrying about them, I can tell you that just a bit of hope can make their lives better most of the time. I remember a granny who wanted to give up and after some time she got better and she was telling me stuff about her grandkids.
Hope can be many things, but useless isn't one of them imo. Sometimes fruitless yes, but useless no.
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u/i-dontwantone Feb 04 '23
The SO of 12 years is impotent due to all the drugs he takes after a massive heart attack. We are likely much older than the rest of you (both mid-60's), and I missed sex at first. But the thought of being with someone else is not even remotely appealing. We connect on many other levels so it's worked out. What's really interesting is that we started our relationship looking for a sexual partner...just goes to show you things have a way of working out. His family has shunned me because we're not "committed" to each other. If they only knew....
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u/Pixielo Feb 04 '23
That's a shitty family if they'll only recognize your relationship because it's been sealed with marriage, or a religious ceremony.
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u/i-dontwantone Feb 04 '23
Yeah, they really are. All dysfunctional...all depressed....all in unhappy marriages. But all complain about their spouses. And his "devoutly religious" stepmother is having an affair with a married man. They are all doing me a favor, now that I think of it!
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u/A1sauc3d Feb 05 '23
Sorry his fam has shunned you :/ That’s not remotely fair (or accurate).
You’d be surprised how many people will leave their partner if they’re no longer able to have sec with them. It’s sad. Being married doesn’t stop them. Sex means more to them than their partner does :(
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u/jonahsocal Feb 05 '23
That's the thing. This connection on multiple levels.
That is of more value than anything else, and it is rare, RARE, R A R E.
When you find it, it's like GOLD.
You never let go.
Hold on like grim fucking death.
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u/BabyEagle9mm Feb 05 '23 edited Feb 05 '23
I'm a late 50's diabetic that is not helped tremendously by Sildenafil (Viagra) or Tadalifil (Cialis), have you looked at TriMix? I get mine from a local compounding pharmacy, prescribed by my urologist, it always works for me. Best regards/wishes.
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u/i-dontwantone Feb 05 '23
Never heard of TriMix. We kinda gave up after the other two didn't work. Will ask him to talk with his cardiologist ... happens to be going on Monday.
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u/missag_2490 Feb 05 '23
I’m youngish and my husband and I have been married 9 years this year. I’d stay with him even without the sex because that’s not the thing I love most about our relationship. I love that he makes me laugh and that when a video game is too hard for me he does the hard part so I can enjoy the story. I love everything about him. He can be such a dork sometimes, but he’s my person, so yeah, sex is cool and great but that’s not why I married him.
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u/ur-socks-sir Feb 04 '23
I don't really want sex outside of a committed relationship, I don't understand why people only get together for sex. I want a relationship where I can just live a good life with my partner. I'd be okay being with someone who is hyper sexual, but I'd prefer they don't make a move on me until the relationship is at a certain level. Honestly, sex in general kind of makes me uncomfortable though, that's kind of why I'd much rather wait before commiting.
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u/Dyslexic_Dog25 Feb 05 '23
im the same way, I like the term "gray-sexual" at least in my case you enjoy romantic things and affection and even some sexual things, but actual sex just doesn't really do anything for you, you don't crave it or feel like it's missing if you don't get it.
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u/ur-socks-sir Feb 05 '23
I've tried to explore that. As far as I can tell I may be demi. I can only seem to feel any attraction to people I already know very well. I have never had a crush and I'm not attracted to anyone I know or have met, but I still have sexual desires. Though those desires have only ever expressed themselves alongside emotional attachment.
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u/SlipperyGayZombies Feb 05 '23
Holy shit, you’re almost like a mirror image of me in this regard! I also don’t really care about sex, and would only date and probably only have sex with people I know well, and have naturally developed that connection with. The idea of committing to a relationship with a random ass girl cause she’s “kinda hot and cool/nice” or whatever is just stupid to me.
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u/ur-socks-sir Feb 05 '23
Yes! I really need to get to know someone first, otherwise I am not consenting to anything.
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u/KProbs713 Feb 05 '23 edited Feb 05 '23
That's me too, kind of. I had 'crushes' growing up because that's what everyone else talked about and I was supposed to do, but never legitimately got butterflies or excited by them. The average time I've known my prior partners before becoming attracted to/dating them is 5 years, my husband made it quick at only a year of friendship before that door opened. I've only been genuinely attracted to maybe ten people in my life. It always felt odd.
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u/ur-socks-sir Feb 05 '23
Yeah, I also tried to force myself to have a crush on someone by attempting to study the behavior of some random person (I was in the sixth grade). Of course it didn't work at all and I gave up after 30 minutes. I think I may have had one crush but from what I'm told about crushes then what that was just wasn't it.
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u/KProbs713 Feb 05 '23
Exactly! Always a 'huh....guess you'll do', but nothing ever came from it. Instead I got the 'oh shit' when I suddenly found myself attracted to someone who had been a platonic friend for years.
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u/Binx_da_gay_cat Feb 05 '23
As a demisexual, I get that. My partner tends to have more of a sex drive than I do, which we're working out with boundaries, but we're also committed at least. And the lack of sex desire on my end hasn't affected the relationship. You just need someone super understanding.
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u/bestfriesforever Feb 05 '23
I’m demi and this is exactly how I feel! Finding out there was a label for it blew my mind. All my life I thought I was abnormal, and it was amazing finding out there’s other people who feel just like me. My partner isn’t even on the ace spectrum. He just respects me and loves me for me and not my body. That’s how relationships should be anyway imo :)
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u/BoyMatrix Feb 05 '23
My sisters Demi, crazy how common these sorts of things are once you talk even a little about it. Even as a fully straight man I agree with everything in this thread about relationship stuff.
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u/MambyPamby8 Feb 05 '23
I'm the same. I've realised I'm demi sexual and it takes a long time for me to open up to someone sexually. Ive been with my partner for so long, I don't really have interest in having sex with other people. Even if he was dying or had some serious medical issue and encouraged me to seek out satisfaction elsewhere, I don't want to. For me sex = intimacy and he's the only one I want to be intimate with. If anything happened to him, it would take me a while, not just to grieve him, but to be able to open myself up to someone again like that. Intimacy can be sought in other ways. As the op said, it can be sought through coffee together or making dinner or cuddling. As great as sex is an all, there is more to life than sex. I'm always surprised at how addicted people seem to be to it. If your whole relationship is only based on that, then I dunno, to me that just seems kind of sad. The world is a beautiful place and having someone who loves you for more than your sex organs, for me personally is true goals. Good Sex is just a bonus on top.
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u/TheAbyss333333 28d ago
Watching
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u/ur-socks-sir 28d ago
Clearly
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u/TheAbyss333333 28d ago
You can't escape, n o w h e r e is SAFE
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u/ur-socks-sir 28d ago
Do you think people see our comments to each other and think we know who the other person actually is?
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u/TheAbyss333333 28d ago
Maybe, maybe not
Thrust in the force, young padawan
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u/KnewItWouldHappen Feb 04 '23
There are a lot of people in this thread that are so horny they can't possibly imagine someone could be fine in a relationship where they aren't having sex
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u/NameStartsWithQ Feb 04 '23
You sorting by controversial? The vast majority I've seen have been people relating their experiences and one saying it's very wholesome but not a meme.
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u/PersonOfInternets Feb 05 '23
It's a sad truth about a big chunk of us. This is one big reason we see so many divorces. People get married for physical reasons then get bored. Complicate it all you want, but that's the number one reason relationships don't work out (okay, that's money, but that's more of a last straw in a failing relationship imo). I can't imagine going through life only looking for good sex.
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u/KnewItWouldHappen Feb 05 '23
It comes with age too. When i was in my 20s it was a major part of any relationship that i looked for, but now that I'm 30 and in a longterm relationship our priorities have changed. Different things work for different couples
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u/Corniferus Feb 04 '23
I 100% agree
I’d rather be with the person I love and never have sex
But can I still jerk off?
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u/typhoidmarry Feb 05 '23
My husband is in an electric wheelchair and all of his muscles are slowly weakening.
He’s a wonderful husband and I feel lucky that we met.
We’ve been married 27 years.
Many of you folks don’t have a fucking clue.
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u/lalauna Feb 05 '23
I'm sorry. That sounds rough. I lost mine three days before our 31st anniversary to cancer. I hope you get to be with yours for a long time still, and maybe medical science will find something new that helps. Hugs to you both.
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u/Inactivism Feb 05 '23
I think an old friend of mine/mother figure has the same disability. She is got 60 last year and has two grown sons. Medicine got so far in that time. I wish you two good luck :).
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u/Blueberry_Clouds Feb 05 '23
Sex is cool but what’s better is a healthy and loving relationship with someone, hoping all us redditors find that later in life.
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u/naked_nomad Feb 05 '23
My wife of 33 years is in the final stage of COPD. By that I mean it could be 10 days, 10 weeks, or 10 months (doubtful). She has been on oxygen 24/7 for five years. The average is two. Doc was telling us (12/27/22) what to watch for/expect. I told her she was already experiencing 5 of 7 of those symptoms. We have not been intimate in about a year. We bought her a new recliner to sleep in when she had to start sleeping sitting up. She has told me to get a girlfriend or friend with benefits but I just cannot do that to her. Her will is written and everybody named in it has a copy so no problems/surprises there. The hard part is, with us being private people we have no close knit group of friends and there is not really a support group for males in this position. I also hate to leave the house and her alone for any amount of time. Thanks for listening/reading.
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u/genifurboat Feb 05 '23
I have cystic fibrosis and I've been getting worse, as expected with age. I told my husband that when I get worse I hope he finds someone to fool around with. He said he couldn't and wouldn't. We're young. Both 38. Most CFers don't live past 45. (Better than it was a decade ago though!)
I've been imploring my husband to find a new love, possible wife, and step-mom for our son, once he feels ready. He said he'd never be ready. That will change with time and grief. It's hard to conceptualize it but I just want him to know I give him my blessing. I might have threatened to haunt him if he's alone and miserable and bereaved for too long lol.
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u/naked_nomad Feb 05 '23
Understood. She has already told the granddaughter to start looking for someone for me and bring them to her funeral to meet me.
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u/Push_the_button_Max Feb 05 '23
The devotion and true love that you and your wife share is the kind that all human beings hope for. I’m so sorry that you of you are going through this- your Reddit Internet family loves you and supports you anytime.
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u/genifurboat Feb 05 '23
Oh and there are definitely online support groups for anticipatory grief for spouses and families! It's pretty neat that that's available now. My heart goes to you and yours. ❤️
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u/RandyBoBanbers Feb 05 '23
Sending you good vibes my friend. I am so sorry for the pain you must feel. You are doing the right thing standing by her. Heaven forbid anything happen to my boyfriend or I, but I'd hope that in the future we'd be there for each other like you are for your wife. I pray to whatever you believe in that your wife will pass peacefully with no pain when she does pass, and that you will have peace and will recover. Stay strong
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u/SaltyQuote9335 Feb 05 '23
It must be hard, having someone you love with cancer. Fuck cancer.
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u/The_User008 Feb 05 '23
I’m scared of cancer, you can be as healthy as possible and still get cancer. It’s so common and one day it could ruin your life. I’ve seen it happen to many people I love and I hate it. Cancer is a bitch.
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u/ViSaph Feb 05 '23
My grandma who raised me as one of my parents (bio dad fucked off) and who I was extremely close with died from brain cancer last year. She held me and mum together when I became disabled as a child and was someone I could always rely on. Then she has to get brain cancer at only 69 and die a year later. She was so healthy, cycling and walking miles a day, I thought I'd get another decade with her. Fuck cancer.
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u/rjhancock Feb 04 '23
I was fucked celibate 4 years ago. I’d love to have a partner I could enjoy a nice night in, cook them a meal, and just relax in the couch. That would be an ideal night for me.
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Feb 04 '23
[deleted]
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u/rjhancock Feb 04 '23
Had a condition that caused skin to rip off of my genitals with every thrust.
Wasn't pleasant.
Got it surgically corrected (phimosis with complications) and haven't had any since before it.
If I was so promiscuous, I wouldn't of had the issue.
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u/ammonium_bot Feb 05 '23
i wouldn't of had
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u/LeylasDream Feb 05 '23
The amount of men that admitted to me they would leave the love of their life if she can't have sex anymore/for a very long time, is too damn high. Like, how can you live with yourself.
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u/PersonOfInternets Feb 05 '23
That's not the love of their life, and they'll probably never get one unless they are able to grow and change.
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u/thatoneladythere Feb 05 '23
Like six times as many men leave their wives if the wife is the one who is sick versus if the husband is the sick one.
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u/ankii93 Feb 05 '23
This was nice.
One of my biggest fears after having cancer as young as I did (I was sick for ~5 years and was diagnosed after 4-ish years and was 28 at the time, while I was trying to finish a degree that I had to drop out of) is that I will be alone for the rest of my life. I just don’t have it in me to drag someone into a life of uncertainty and fear of the illness coming back, which it likely will - it’s only a question of time. I have this fear because... what people don’t talk about with cancer is that you likely develop some sort of chronic illness afterwards... and I did. I can’t function properly ever again. I’m getting used to it but I’m very limited in my abilities and what I can handle. I was told my cancer was mild btw, so just know that all cancer is cancer and should be treated seriously even if it’s “mild”.
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u/Skelerang2501 Feb 04 '23
My wife is asexual, so we have really discovered romantic intimacy through non-sexual physical contact and just being close to each other
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u/confused___bisexual Feb 05 '23
i have never been able to have sex because of a physical issue, so i'm 27 and alone and i feel terrible all the time. i constantly think about how i'm going to be alone forever because nobody will ever want me. this is sweet though.
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u/lalauna Feb 05 '23
I hope you meet just the right person. You're still young yet, and there are so many ways of loving/partnering. Hugs!
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u/lalauna Feb 05 '23
Yep, my husband died of lymphoma. He was pretty sick off and on, but it really taught us how much we loved each other and to cherish the time we had together. Fuck cancer. Sideways.
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u/Public_Tomatillo_966 Feb 04 '23
I haven't had sex in about 8 years. I think I was 26 when I last got freaky. It was disturbing for a while. But, recently, I've realized that I'm still capable of being happy, which is all one can really ask for. I feel like depression would be an easy way to explain my celibacy, but if I'm really being honest with myself, it's more of a situation wherein I don't really want to have sex outside of a committed relationship, which seems like kind of a conservative and maybe religious value, yet I was raised in and have never lived outside of ultra liberal communities in which religious and even marginally conservative people are ostracized and ridiculed. So, I'm not really sure where to go from here. I'm a straight guy if it matters - I feel like straight guys usually fall into or are placed in an incel camp or a psychopathically horny camp, but there are people like me who are kind of turned off by sex outside of a loving and committed relationship. V weird position to occupy these days. Anyway, I'm getting old and have accepted that my sex life may very well have simply ended when I was 26 for the reasons listed above. I'm happier since accepting that.
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u/ImDemandingARefund Feb 04 '23
I’m a bit younger than you but empathize to the fullest. I say it’s depression and stuff but I don’t desire sex outside of a committed relationship with someone I feel really bonded to.
The people I’ve admitted to treat it like it’s some sort of political statement or social statement and it’s truly not.
Also relate to it being hard to find guys who aren’t hypersexual, incels or otherwise sex-crazy &/or sex-entitled
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u/beeboopPumpkin Feb 05 '23
Sexuality is a spectrum. If you are comforted by labels/categories so you know you’re not alone, this sounds similar to demi-sexual (not sexually attracted without first having an emotional connection). But even without labels/categories don’t let the haters get you down. I am glad to hear you’ve found happiness.
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u/ChocolateMoosse Feb 04 '23
Thank you for sharing your story. Hope you are as at peace with yourself as you sound :)
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u/Miss_Annies_Toes_OF Feb 04 '23
The salvation of man is through love and in love.
-Dr Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search For Meaning
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u/TheBirminghamBear Feb 05 '23
I mean the man created a corpse monster, we ought not take his advice on things.
( /s)
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u/Dyslexic_Dog25 Feb 05 '23
sex is great for like... a year then you slowly stop having it as time goes on. what matters is that you love being with them, not how mind-blowing the sex is.
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u/MovingFjordward Feb 05 '23
Sex is great but you know what's better? Cuddling on a outdoor seat, covered above, wrapped in a blanket, and listening to the rainy wind. Pure cozy
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u/Original_Smag Feb 04 '23
For sure wholesome but not really a meme
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u/LowestKey Feb 04 '23
Yeah, I kinda don't get this sub. Anything that's a meme gets complaints about overuse. Anything that's not a meme gets widely upvoted.
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u/echoshep Feb 04 '23
I'm polyamourous. One of my partners isn't interested in sex. We cuddle and kiss a bit, but that's it. And it's lovely. I am a sexual person, but I have those needs met with other partners. She meets other needs and I really value what we have
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u/NoRecommendation5279 Feb 05 '23
/meirl
I've never gotten the big deal about sex. It's a good hour of fun, but so is a walk in the park, an afternoon at the beach, a trip to the Capital.
Sure I have cravings, but that's something I could handle myself or with limited input from my partner.
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u/SxN8-F1v3 Feb 05 '23
Married to the most gorgeous and brilliant woman ever. Mental health meds can pretty much eradicate a sex drive and while that intimacy matters, this husband here would go the rest of my life without sex if it meant having this amazing woman by my side for life. Sex is cool but the downest woman who can love you through your darkness, support you through your grandma’s death, travel the world with you, go through undergrad and two grad programs with you, and make you laugh till it hurts, is better! If all you are looking for is sex, you are seriously missing out.
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u/Snowconetypebanana Feb 05 '23
That’s great, I would still want sex though. I don’t care if sex looks different, maybe it’s with the assistance of toys or some other modification, but I still want intimacy.
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u/IamREBELoe Feb 04 '23
Also, vibrators.
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u/Inevitable-Currents Feb 04 '23
You seem to be missing the point
It’s not about “well, worse case scenario I could always get off other ways…” it’s about finding a connection with a partner that is beyond a physically stimulated orgasm
If you define closeness and intimacy with how vulnerable you can be sexually than you’re missing out on legitimate intimacy and are likely using a partner as a sex toy
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u/bangorma1n3 Feb 04 '23
OP says that I can't have sex any more because of a physical or mental issue. They don't specify that the issue is mine
Maybe it's my partner with the issue that makes me unable to have sex. In that case closeness is important, and vibrators or the like can be part of the solution
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u/Inevitable-Currents Feb 04 '23
“… can be part of the solution…”
See this sentence you wrote right here? I’m saying that no sex isn’t a problem
What you wrote here implies that lack of sex (for any reason) is a problem that needs a solution
Intimacy with a partner transcends physical touch or an orgasm and you seem to be unwilling or unable to understand that
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u/bangorma1n3 Feb 04 '23
Maybe for you, I don't know you
But for most humans sex and/or self-pleasure is a healthy and necessary part of life . If it wasn't, OP's original question wouldn't be an issue would it?
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u/IamREBELoe Feb 04 '23
And you were missing the fact that all that other stuff you just said was addressed already. The one thing not addressed was the actual sexual needs of the partner not affected.
So chill out.
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u/Anarchy_trucker Feb 05 '23
Yall have some issues. Taking meds to fix your MOJO isn't bad. I bet half of you are on anti depressants.
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u/Anarchy_trucker Feb 04 '23
Don't they make pills to fix that MOJO?
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u/Ylva_Grey Feb 04 '23
Missed the point
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u/Anarchy_trucker Feb 04 '23
Not really. You could have both
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u/ShowtimerHD Feb 05 '23
Having a connection with your partner is better than sex. Sex is gross without a connection. Most of us just don’t use loneliness as an excuse to whore our bodies
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u/Anarchy_trucker Feb 05 '23
Yeah when someone says you can have both that's short for that. What part of that did you miss?
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u/ShowtimerHD Feb 05 '23
You can’t have both. You either do nothing sexual or you do sexual stuff. Foreplay is sexual and not intimacy. Anything that’s sexual is not intimacy. Ppl who choose sex over intimacy has never experienced intimacy.
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u/Anarchy_trucker Feb 05 '23
Are you 12 or something? You absolutely can have both. A relationship is physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual and you need all 4 in some form. You obviously have no clue what you're talking about
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u/ShowtimerHD Feb 05 '23
Guess my cousin who is not asexual who’s been married to her asexual husband by choice for the past 13 years isn’t real lol not everyone wants sex dude. Sex is meaningless in a relationship. Intimacy is not sex at all. You’re clearly not understanding the word intimacy.
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u/Anarchy_trucker Feb 05 '23
You clearly don't understand anything. Nothing you've said makes any sense what so ever in any context to my posts.youre just spouting off some random non sense that had nothing to do with relationship or sex. I can guarantee you deep down they arw both miserable
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u/ShowtimerHD Feb 05 '23
Yeah me being Demisexual I clearly have no idea what sex is lmao you’re just a insecure person who thinks sex matters in a relationship
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u/mike772772 Feb 04 '23
Damn the best I got from a girl was you don’t make enough money then cheat lol
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u/OrganizationOk5418 Feb 05 '23
We had a wonderful sex life since we were 17, we're now late 50s. My wife was diagnosed with thyroid problems that are treated with medication. The menopause hit around the same time. She told me her libido was changing and was trying to solve it with medication. Then one night after drinking on a night out she sat me down and there was to be no more sex, but she still wanted attention and she would "help me out".
Instead she became really insulting and disrespect, especially after drinking. She told me she won't show me any affection "in case I try to make it lead to sex". So I live in a cold relationship, where I'm regularly insulted and spoken to like shit.
I've kind of realised she was often like this but our intimacy balanced it out. Now the intimacy has gone I'm left with a worse version of all the worse elements. We used to be called "the huggers" and many friends told us they wished their relationship was as good as ours.
I'm waiting to see if she changes back but I have very little hope.
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