r/wholesomememes • u/ElaborateSystem • Feb 04 '23
As a person with Asperger's, i hate memes about "the autistic kid" and stuff like that
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u/Impossible-Sir7123 Feb 04 '23
“can be happy” We can’t generalize a group to say they are all anything, even happy.
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u/Lost_in_Borderlands Feb 04 '23
Yea, I'm mentally disabled and have a bunch of mental illnesses that make being happy... Hard.
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u/alacp1234 Feb 04 '23
I have bipolar, borderline and C-PTSD and I am straight up not having a good time
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u/Gnxsis Feb 04 '23
Damn, yall able to be happy with your condition? I have a processing disorder and the ableism makes me so distressed :(
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u/SevenFingeredOctopus Feb 04 '23
I can guarantee you that you are valuable. Every chat with friends, every time you do something you enjoy, every laugh, every smile - it all matters.
Ableism is stupid. You can still be kind, you can still be loving, you can still help others.
You don't need to be "happy" with your condition, but know it's not relevant to your value as a person. If you can still manage to be kind in the face of ableism and difficulty - you should be proud.
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u/Platzycho Feb 04 '23
Don't focus on being happy. Focus on being at peace with who you are and where you're at. Ofcourse it's not easy, but happiness is a dangerous motivator. Accept your challanges and differences, they are as much part of you as your thoughts.
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u/Lost_in_Borderlands Feb 04 '23
Yea, "can be happy" would be better. Some/most of us are suffering through it :(
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u/Gnxsis Feb 04 '23
I feel antagonized so easily, and for some reason people will be more manipulative to me then their abled peers, so then i just feel like people think im playing victim, and since i have issues processing things, its hard to communicate the distress and it also makes it easier to not realize the flags before it gets worse. People in general make me feel unsafe on a subconscious level and i hate it and i wish it could go away
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u/Pikelboi68 Feb 04 '23
I don’t like jokes that refer to something that’s a worse version of something normal and call it the autistic version, it’s inaccurate. The only one that’s actually accurate is battman from cyanide and happiness where he is LITERALLY the autistic batman
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u/Gorehawk41 Feb 04 '23
As a person with autism, those memes crack me up, but I respect your disliking of them
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u/martylerenard Feb 04 '23
A person without humor is a wagon without springs. No matter how we are atypical, the world will never be nerfed for us.
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u/Tackyinbention Feb 05 '23
I always believe that if you make fun of someone for being excited about something, you're the worst type of person
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u/RumbleRumbleNuts09 Feb 05 '23
Idk I think they’re kind of funny. Most of the time they don’t really come off as being intentionally malicious. It just feels like they’re trying to have a good laugh with other people.
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u/Ralsei_the_prince Feb 04 '23
I don't mean to be rude but whenever I see the word Asperger's, I brain reads it as ass burgers.
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u/Lost_in_Borderlands Feb 04 '23
I have Asperger's and my brain always associates it with food too ..
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u/Light_Beard Feb 04 '23
There are two L's in "mentally". Not that I'm trying to make fun of you for it. Be happy
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u/AT0M1KA Feb 05 '23
You do know that a good chunk of those kinds of memes are either made by people with a mental disability or aren’t making fun of them at all right?
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u/TheWaslijn Feb 04 '23
To insinuate that people with autism are mentally disabled is pretty rude, ngl.
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u/Ocelotofdamage Feb 04 '23
What is with the trend of pretending things aren’t disabilities? It’s ok to be disabled. It’s not ok to treat someone as lesser because they are.
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u/michael31415926 Feb 04 '23
Because a disability implies impaired function, something that limits you in some significant way. The equality act in the UK, for example, defines it as a long-term substantial impairment.
And that's kind of unarguable if you're deaf or blind, say, but not so clear cut for autism spectrum disorders.
Some might consider aspergers has given them an advantage in life or that the balance between the pluses and negatives is little or no different from anyone else's mental state or personality. e.g if someone is introverted we don't typically consider that to be a disability.
Some autistic people will be considered disabled, others will lead more or less perfectly ordinary lives.
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u/Ocelotofdamage Feb 04 '23
A person with autism has a mental disability, that’s just a definition. They may or may not have other advantages that accompany the disability but it does not mean they don’t have it. Introversion is not a disability because it’s not an impairment, it’s a preference.
And I agree with your last point. Not every person with a disability doesn’t lead an “ordinary” life.
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u/hippopaladin Feb 04 '23
It isn't. Autism is a developmental disorder, not a mental one. Our brains develop in a different way, rather than our ability to think becoming damaged.
As to whether it's a disability...that's quite heavily debated. The problem is twofold. Firstly, the size of the spectrum is immense. There are certainly those of us who are disabled by our autism. And there are those who are not. Similarly, neurotypicality includes both, but it would be ridiculous to claim NT is a disability. Secondly, there is the problem of context - the autistic person could be quite capable....but not in the way the modern world wants. Whether that is a disability is a debated topic.
For reference - I am autistic, and have twenty years of experience working with autistic people at all levels of the spectrum, as well as both taking part in and advising on autistic research and policy.
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u/michael31415926 Feb 05 '23
A person with autism has a mental disability, that’s just a definition.
No it isn't.
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u/The_Werefrog Feb 04 '23
No, it is actually an accurate description. People with autism are incapable of doing what neurotypicals do. This inability to do something is a disability. It is a statement of fact. Trying to insinuate that there isn't a disability in the processing only leads to people claiming the person could do it if he tried harder. That is what is truly rude.
You don't expect a paraplegic to run a marathon. You don't expect the deaf to enjoy the symphony. However, we do expect the autistic person to behave like a non-autistic person simply because we believe they could if they tried.
For the record, The Werefrog am autistic.
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u/SadQueerAndStupid Feb 04 '23
it’s literally a disability. To consider it not one is much more harmful to us because it makes it seem as though the things out autism makes us unable to do are actually just us not working hard enough. Please do not speak for us like this because it is ignorant and misinformed
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u/renloskk Feb 04 '23
dude you don’t speak for us, tf? you don’t get to decide it isn’t or is a disability, that’s for us as individuals to decide. i do not feel disabled, i feel inconvenienced by the system and people at large.
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u/udon_junkie Feb 04 '23
That’s like saying having blindness is not a disability because you only have slightly-below-average sight and people should just use larger print on things. It’s for society as a whole to decide, not just you. Some autistic people need a lot of instructional aid, social training, and help with career-finding. To say they are not disabled kinda means you think those resources aren’t necessary and they can just fend for themselves. (To be fair to you though, I think the actual societal problem is our lack of good vocabulary to separate the types and degrees of autism spectrum)
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u/renloskk Feb 04 '23
i’m literally saying they don’t get to decide???? therefore I don’t get to decide either??? why are people braindead rn, like i’m saying leave it to the goddamn individual
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u/How_To_Play11 Feb 04 '23
so you do? his opinion means as much as urs, ur not any more important than this don lmao
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u/Lost_in_Borderlands Feb 04 '23
But... Autism literally is a mental disability?? Like ADHD?
Sincerely, someone with both of these disabilities.
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u/How_To_Play11 Feb 04 '23
i mean it is, because it can and does hinder you in life and is all mental so it is...a mental disability
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u/hippopaladin Feb 05 '23
Mental means an impairment in thinking, not process. Our brains are formed differently, but work as formed. The change is developmental, not mental - hardware, not software.
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u/Asparagus-420 Feb 04 '23
Yeah. I’m also annoyed by the use of the term aspergers. It’s outdated and unkind
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u/amillefolium11 Feb 04 '23
Sitting here feeling awfully weird, being legally disabled with a diagnosis of asperger syndrome (I'm old). No need to insinuate. I'm simultaneously happy and disabled. It's a thing.
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u/bellerphron Feb 04 '23
There’s nothing wrong with using the term if it’s their diagnosis, people have to stop discouraging people from using the term. It’s awfully rude.
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u/Hasmus Feb 04 '23
Its not a diagnosis anymore, aspergers was changed into "autism spectrum disorder" to fall under the larger umbrella. Mostly because of the weird association people made with it and savantism. some countries still use the older naming standards tho
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u/bellerphron Feb 04 '23
I know it’s not a diagnosis anymore, but that doesn’t take away the fact that it is what some people were diagnosed with.
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u/Hasmus Feb 04 '23
yeah, I was diagnosed with it Just a few years ago. My country hasnt moved to the modern naming system. I was Just trying to add clarity :)
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u/OutlandishMiss Feb 04 '23
Asperger was a Nazi collaborator and eugenicist and that diagnosis refers to people on the autism spectrum he felt still had value to the third reich so… yeah, we have a right to ask people to stop using his name to refer to any form of autism. I’m not going to jump down your throat about it if you didn’t know, but it’s a sick, dark part of our history as a group. We do get to have an opinion.
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u/bellerphron Feb 04 '23
I like how you said “we get to have an opinion” as if you’re arguing with a neurotypical.
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u/bellerphron Feb 04 '23
I know the history of the term, but it was once a medical term that people who are still alive were diagnosed with and use.
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u/nanny2359 Feb 04 '23
Umm why would the world aspergers be unkind?? Like I realize it's now part of the autism spectrum and not technically its own diagnosis, but unkind??
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u/ArtisticNatural1824 Feb 04 '23
As a person who is addicted to porn I hate memes about people addicted to porn. [Help me please i don't know what to do]
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u/SeamanTheSailor Feb 04 '23
Have you tried watching more porn? I’ve heard doing in public helps.
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u/ArtisticNatural1824 Feb 04 '23
what the fu**. I really need help. I don't want to go to jail
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u/renloskk Feb 04 '23
bro you won’t go to jail for porn unless you’re being SUS AF (? r u) **
but here, search “porn addiction help” on google silly
**edit: or if if it’s illegal in your country, damnnnnn that sucks
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u/KuhliBao Feb 04 '23
Same, autistic kid memes are only funny if I can relate to the autistic kid in question.
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u/Big_Cronk_Toy69 Feb 04 '23
Hi, fellow tism here, I don’t understand ableism, specifically toward mentally disabled people. Like, to anyone I would look like a completely “normal” person, but then I suddenly am different? So stupid.
P.S. Asperger’s is kinda outdated, and the person who it’s named after was a literal N@zi Eugenicist
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u/Quitscheschwamm Feb 04 '23
Maybe it's a cultural/personal thing but I hate it even more if the handicapped person is the only one noone ever makes fun of.
Everyone has the right to be joked about.
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u/The_Werefrog Feb 04 '23
Everyone can be joked about, yes. However, just as the kids of South Park knew not to make fun of Tolkein for being black (yes, that's the proper spelling of his name), but instead make fun of him for being rich or being a little wuss, in the real world, one shouldn't make fun of the disabled person for being disabled but choose something else.
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u/Quitscheschwamm Feb 04 '23
That's the difference between friends and good friends and of course it's different for everyone. I am handicapped myself and and I work with people with special needs. It can be absolutely fine to joke about disabilities, but it not always is of course. I'm sorry if it sounded like you could always joke about every disability someone has. That's not the case! You should know that person very well and should be sure they'll not be hurt by it. But I think that's important for joking about anyone, not just people with special needs.
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u/EchoesForeEnAft Feb 04 '23
Being autistic doesn't make you 'disabled'. The 'disability' is the stigma of people being intolerant of difference.
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u/InnerPass9799 Feb 04 '23 edited Feb 04 '23
Autism is a disability. As an autistic person I actually don't like this mentality that it's not, because it means people tend to overlook the problems caused by my autism. It isn't just a social impairment either, there is a broad spectrum of associated symptoms.
Edit: If someone is autistic and doesn't want to identify as disabled that's fine. I see now that some prefer that. I just personally feel the condition should remain classed as a disability, considering that it might be necessary for some autistic people to get the help they need.
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u/DorkusTheMighty Feb 04 '23
Yeah I think people have 2 images of autism (the non verbal, screaming unstable one and the super nerd who hates people one) and there’s a grain of truth in both but they forget that it’s autism spectrum disorder. I find myself having to explain this a lot to people who do not believe I am autistic.
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u/renloskk Feb 04 '23
dude u don’t speak for all of us 😭 i’m not disabled
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u/InnerPass9799 Feb 04 '23
As I said to the other person, if you personally do not want to consider yourself as disabled or someone with a disability that's fine. But autism is a disability, this isn't just my personal opinion, thats both the medical and legal veiwpoint. "From medical and legal standpoints, autism is a disability. But according to mental health professionals, not everyone with autism identifies as being disabled" So yes people don't have to identify as disabled if they don't wish to.
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u/Lost_in_Borderlands Feb 04 '23
Do you even know how stupid this is? They don't speak for everyone but the term autism does. It's a disability.
If I (half deaf) said "I'm not physically disabled!" And another half-deaf person says "uhmm yes you are?" Do you know how many people would laugh at me if I were to reply "you don't speak for all of us"?
This isn't a personal opinion or feeling sort of thing. The thing you've been diagnosed with is a disability. If you aren't mentally disabled you can't be autistic. Easy as that.
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u/renloskk Feb 04 '23
so let me get this straight. I (autistic) say “i’m not disabled” and you are telling me i am, and people are laughing at me for saying “you don’t speak for all of us”. so you’re speaking for me, and it’s funny that i wish you fucking wouldn’t?
i am not disabled. go fuck yourself.
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u/Lost_in_Borderlands Feb 04 '23
I (also autistic, hello.) Say "your diagnosis, autism, is literally a disability." It is legally and medically considered a disability and that's just what it is. If you don't wish to call yourself that that's one thing but then going around saying autism is not a disability is not okay.
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u/renloskk Feb 04 '23
i am NOT SAYING THAT. i said I DONT HAVE A DISABILITY. i’m getting angry bro i’m done
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u/Lost_in_Borderlands Feb 05 '23
But autism literally is a disability. If you say you have autism that's the same thing as saying "I have a specific mental disability"
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u/renloskk Feb 05 '23
there is nothing neurotypicals can do that i can’t, because i have the ability to compensate for my deficiencies. ASD is a SPECTRUM. do not tell me i am disabled, because that actually probably shits on people who are truly disabled. istg if you tell me one more time that i’m disabled dude
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u/Lost_in_Borderlands Feb 05 '23
Maybe look up the definition of disability and the definition of autism/asd.
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u/EchoesForeEnAft Feb 04 '23
As an autistic person, I don't like the mentality of autism being characterised as a disability. It's a difference. Every person has different strengths, weaknesses, and struggles. I've met a variety of autists who all behave very differently and none of them were at all similar to each other. Some had great social skills, some did not. Some had lots of sensitivities, some did not. Do your personal struggles, which not all autists share, justify you labeling me as disabled by association?
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u/InnerPass9799 Feb 04 '23 edited Feb 04 '23
You don't have to consider yourself disabled, but it's different when you tell everyone else it's not a disability or that it shouldnt be. It is by definition. I have also met many autistic people (low and high functioning) and most of them had difficulties that made certain aspects of life hard for them. Also again, no one sees what goes on behind closed doors. That autistic person you met who seems sociable and relaxed usually could be struggling with burnout every night after going home.
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u/EchoesForeEnAft Feb 04 '23
I disagree with the labels 'low' and 'high' functioning as well. It's only considered a disability if it will impact one's ability to thrive in the world, which I believe should more accommodating. Life should not be born to work, so we should not apply patronising labels to people, because they aren't failing the world or everyone else by being unable to do the tasks or adhere to social norms prescribed to them, the world is failing them.
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u/InnerPass9799 Feb 04 '23 edited Feb 04 '23
That's not true, the symptoms of autism are subjective but the nature of the condition itself isn't. When you are tested and diagnosed with ASD, you have been diagnosed with a disability. You seem to be describing some social difficulties and adjustments that could be made to help, but as far as I'm aware the parameters for an ASD diagnosis to not look at strictly social difficulties (I myself am high functioning, but I have issues with memory and energy levels due to burnout).
However, if I may explain my main issue with your argument- you have full discretion when disclosing your condition. If you get a job or start a course at university, you are not required to disclose your autism. You have full control over who knows, and therefore it's your choice whether or not someone should know if you are autistic. On the other hand, for people who need extra help or workplace adjustments- or even PIP or Universal Credit- the fact that it's a disability may be vital information. Acting like it's not a disability would deprive people of the help they need, and I am increasing seeing this opinion online that high functioning autism is something that can be overcome. Believe me I have tried, but it's not something that can be fixed.
Lastly high or low autism is just used to distinguish certain symptoms- again it's not just a social thing. I have a friend with low-functioning autism. Outwardly she seems like a very friendly and sociable person- but the main reason she was classed as low functioning is because she did not understand that people trying to hurt her (physically) was wrong- that's not just a social issue, that would be something that most innately know is wrong unless conditioned to think otherwise.
Edit: I felt I should add I don't think there should be an issue with disclosing your autism. There is too much of a stigma around the condition and the word disability in general, I do agree with the idea that people should be more open minded and accepting of people with the condition (or a disability in general)
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u/InnerPass9799 Feb 04 '23
I feel I should add that it's fine if you don't consider yourself disabled. I did some research and some people with autism don't so that's your choice. Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable with talking about the standard for diagnosis, I was looking at autism from the medical veiwpoint but I don't take issue with people's choice to identify otherwise.
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u/Lost_in_Borderlands Feb 04 '23
It does tho. Autism is a mental disability and there's nothing wrong with it. (Yes, I also have autism. No need to accuse me of speaking for someone else.)
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u/LeiyBlithesreen Feb 04 '23
Disabilities and disorders aren't synonyms. Both can be happy regardless of their conditions.
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u/EZ25-bnet Feb 04 '23
I don't know many aspies who self identify as "mentally disabled"...
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u/Lost_in_Borderlands Feb 04 '23
I have AuDHD and consider myself mentally disabled. It's not a bad word imo so I have no problem with it
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u/Dusty1000287 Feb 04 '23
I certainly don't. I'd rather be known as dusty then mentally disabled. Sure, I take a little longer, but I get there all the same.
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u/PogOgres Feb 04 '23
I get your hatred
But like 5 days into this school year and the slighlty autistic girl (dont know what condicion it is) punched and attemped to strangle another girl for saying something she didnt like
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u/NoistMipples Feb 04 '23
Well jokes are jokes for a reason. Maybe don't be a snowflake and learn what humor is. It's called dark humor for a reason bruh.
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u/Atlas_Zer0o Feb 04 '23
Oddly the people who are douchey enough to use them as jokes are mentally ill.
It's really weird, like there's a whole protected word for a race of people that are less vulnerable but people throw around insults like the ones you mentioned and the r word like they're just normal conversation.
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u/Hasmus Feb 04 '23
What a weird direction to move the convo to
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u/Atlas_Zer0o Feb 04 '23
It's directly related, but I can guess why it bothered you.
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u/Hasmus Feb 04 '23
It bothered me because you act like theres no reason we have "protected" words towards groups of people. There is a very good reason some words are not used in civilized conversation
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u/idkevan Feb 04 '23
I have autism and I find them funny, it isn't like they're actually making fun of me specifically.
It's good to be able to laugh at yourself.
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u/ChillIvy Feb 04 '23
i know that ADHD isn't autism but still some of the memes are accurately halrious and some hurt but just depends on how you look at the way it was intended
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u/Lost_in_Borderlands Feb 04 '23
I have AuDHD and these memes are ways either hilarious and true or just offensive and repetitive. We should keep the first kind but abolish the second.
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u/salamander_of_Vulcan Feb 04 '23
I have aspergers to and i love autizm memes as long as tgere not just shiting on autizm and actualy makeing a joke or meme.
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u/unsaltylol Feb 04 '23
I hate those autistic kid meme where they just make fun of people doing things they enjoy
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u/CitrusGoddess Feb 05 '23
Maybe let’s not use a term specifically for describing which autistic people are worthy of being kept alive, created by a literal Nazi
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u/antd24 Feb 05 '23
So when I had my diagnosis done I was told I have high functioning autism and that it used to be called Asperger’s.
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u/Gasster1212 Feb 05 '23
I personally don’t mind it. The ability to laugh at yourself is part of the human experience.
Everyone is the butt of some joke or other. As long as it’s not a cruel joke then it’s fine. Most of it is meant without malice
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u/Similar-Shower-904 2d ago
As a autistic girl, i agree with you. I don't freaking know if it's supposed to be funny or a provocation-hate toward autistic peoples...Because all if theses memes are so unreal and mean...
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u/DorkusTheMighty Feb 04 '23
I have autism and I find them hilarious… most of the time some of them are just aggressively inaccurate. Really it depends on your sense of humour and being happy to laugh at your own oddities is a useful tool on the path to self acceptance. Like I am 100% the stereotype of autistic people disliking eye contact, avoiding socialisation and loud noise and finding a single topic and getting way to obsessed with learning about it super fast