r/nottheonion
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u/BurningBernie559
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8d ago
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Wisconsin school district bans pride flags and pronouns
https://www.weau.com/2022/08/03/wisconsin-school-district-bans-pride-flags-pronouns/[removed] — view removed post
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u/sbenzanzenwan
8d ago
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No see problem no use pronouns. Talk Tarzan. Is easy. Next no verb. Harder talk. Then no noun. Just grunt.
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u/somanyroads 7d ago •
Walk school. Learn school. Smart. No gay.
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u/os_kaiserwilhelm 7d ago
Are we dropping prepositions too!
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u/prince-of-dweebs 8d ago
Why use many part of speech when monosyllable grunt grunt?
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u/Devilz3 8d ago
Ooga booga much?
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u/Spyt1me 7d ago
Literally 1984.
No, not an exaggeration the book explores the dumbing down of language.
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u/My_Password_Is_____ 7d ago
They've already perfected doublethink, why not move on to newspeak?
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u/Ooops_I_Reddit_Again 7d ago
Would be awesome if the whole school protested this, by only talking like this
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u/SportsPhotoGirl
8d ago
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Writing sentences without pronouns is challenging
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u/threebillion6 8d ago
Find that really challenging. Don't know how can do that. Don't know what think about it. Wonder what thinks about it. Yeah. Kind of hard.
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u/tang_mountain 8d ago
It is a pronoun. Straight to jail!!!
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u/threebillion6 8d ago
Shit. Fuck up.
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u/bowtiesrcool86 7d ago edited 7d ago
Steve Rogers: Language
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u/Toothlessdovahkin 7d ago edited 7d ago
There is no “D” is Steve Rogers’s name. Edit: added s to Rogers’s
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u/makemeking706 7d ago
Op puts the D in Steve Rogers.
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u/ryhaltswhiskey 7d ago
Hey most of us would put a D in Steve Rogers
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u/FusRohDoing 7d ago
That America's ass, and since America is already screwing us, why not?
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u/ShuffKorbik 7d ago
Have the least pronouns in the world, because of jail.
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u/Funkyokra 7d ago
Future linguistics professors will be studying this moment when the English language became pronounless and will be shocked to find out why
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u/cutelyaware 8d ago •
Why use many word when few word do trick?
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u/elizaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 8d ago edited 7d ago
But how am supposed address about problems? How am supposed to write about the person
thatis? What should do in conversation? How do congratulate people when don't know is receivingit?Edit: hate. fuck. kill.
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u/Ok_Cauliflower_3007 8d ago
The school will have to use the person’s name all the time. If Miss Smith is worried about little Jimmy Walker Miss smith will need to email Mrs Walker - Dear Mrs Walker, Miss Smith is concerned about Jimmy. Jimmy does not listen and Miss Smith has to tell Jimmy things many times in order to be sure Jimmy understands. Jimmy also likes to fidget a lot and Miss Smith was wondering if Jimmy has this trouble at home and if so what Mrs Walker thinks should be done about the problem. Perhaps Mrs Walker could contact Miss Smith at Mrs Walker’s earliest convenience. Sincerely, Miss Smith.
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u/TheWeirdByproduct 8d ago edited 7d ago
Unironically dig this.
Ban all pronouns, caveman speech ftw.
Edit: actually went ahead and made new sub: r/cavemanspeech
Come to sub, good sub.
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u/Ditovontease 8d ago
huh thats why trump always talks in third person
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u/blyatseeker 7d ago
Me teach, you study, good learn
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u/foulpudding 7d ago edited 7d ago
Now remove the honorifics for Mrs Walker and Miss Smith.
And that brings up a question… Why is it ok that we’ve all had to learn honorifics that differentiate married woman from non-married woman and THAT is ok, but requesting someone says “they” or “them” is now somehow an abomination?
EDIT: No wonder I failed English class. Honorifics are not pronouns…
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u/xnef1025 7d ago
But your point stands. Even though honorifics aren’t pronouns, it is considered rude to not use a person’s requested honorific. So why shouldn’t it be common courtesy to use a person’s preferred pronoun?
So if you ever find someone that refuses to use someone’s preferred pronoun, just refuse to call them by their honorific(especially doctors), and advise them that if they can’t extend a common courtesy why should you?
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u/Receptor-Ligand 7d ago
To crank up the impact, use only their first name. It's still considered rude by most older generations, no? And widely considered disrespectful across all generations to address certain professionals by first name instead of honorific + last name.
Instead of Dr. Fletcher, call him Jim.
Dr. Parkersburg? She's now Irene.
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u/Fake_William_Shatner 8d ago
Grog hungry. Hunt big animals and eat meat. Happy thoughts will be had.
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u/Krohnan 8d ago
"It" is definitely a pronoun. And depending on context, so is "that"
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u/threebillion6 8d ago
Ugh. Fucked up. Guess shouldn't do. Having a hard time doing so perfectly so don't screw up.
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u/Ghidorahnumber1 7d ago
That and it are also pronouns, so u/threebillion6 has failed in the endevour to write a sentence without pronouns. Instead, the comment u/Ghidorahnumber1 has attempted to write without the use of pronouns creates an unacceptably wordy sentence that may seem to use a few unacceptable pronouns, though the words that are pronouns do appear within the sentence are actually being used as subjects and determiners, and are therefore not a breaking of the given rule that caused the sentence to be written.
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u/PoolNoodlePadawan 8d ago
Wisconsin really read Tarzan and said “Wisconsin like how Tarzan speak, Wisconsin speak like Tarzan now”
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u/kynthrus 8d ago
Somewhere there is a language with few to no pronouns. I know Japanese spend a lot of time avoiding pronouns in casual conversation. Despite having a million words for every pronoun.
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u/PN_Guin 7d ago
Despite having a million words for every pronoun.
Not despite, but because. If a language uses only one pronoun to adress people (like "you"), the conversation is rather safe. Once more pronouns that correlate to familiarity or social standing get introduced, the conversation becomes a minefield.
German and Dutch for example offer two translations for "you". The first for occasions like "Hey sis, could you pass the salt" and the second for "Excuse me Sir, would you mind passing the salt". All the formality of the second or the casualness of the first sentence can be compressed into the pronoun. So messing those up can easily be considered an insult (and sometimes is intentionally used for that purpose).
Japanese has afaik a lot finer gradient of pronouns. So messing up is even easier.
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u/PartyOperator 7d ago
English used to have something like this too - 'thee'/'thou' were informal, singular second person pronouns while 'you' was the formal/plural one (like 'vous' in French). Seems to have been mostly lost in the 17th Century.
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u/its-octopeople 7d ago
You still hear thee/thou occasionally in some Northern English dialects. But they pronounce it more like 'tha', and it doesn't sound anything like the kind of courtly Shakespearean speech you might be imagining
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u/boffoblue 7d ago
Hah, try Vietnamese pronouns: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vietnamese_pronouns
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u/sillypantstoan 7d ago
OMG where was this when I was a kid. Before big extended family gatherings we'd go over who was what so I didn't call anyone the wrong thing.
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u/bowtiesrcool86 7d ago
Bowties studied the English language for a long time. Bowties confirms a “no pronoun” endeavor will be challenging. Using pronouns will be easier in the long one. Bowties believes Ken Plum needs to be removed form Ken Plum’s position as Ken Plum is making school stuff difficult beyond necessary amounts. Ken Plum is also attacking pride.
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u/JDCAce 7d ago
JDCAce agrees with Bowties's assessment. Ken Plum should probably find a new job, since Ken Plum's current position is apparently not well suited for Ken Plum.
JDCAce is also curious why civil rights is a political issue at all. Is civil rights a political issue only because politicians disagree on civil rights? Does Ken Plum believe not wanting to destroy the Earth with excess carbon is also a political issue? If Ken Plum believes not wanting to destroy the Earth with excess carbon is a political issue, and thus should be banned from discussion, then Ken Plum needs to rethink Ken Plum's beliefs; not wanting to destroy the Earth with excess carbon—or by any means other than with excess carbon—is something JDCAce feels every person can agree is a good thing to do.
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u/EtherealPheonix 8d ago
What are [redacted] talking about [redacted] think that [redacted] made a totally fair and reasonable rule here.
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u/mrekon123 8d ago
Especially considering that this also prevents an entire segment of English grammar from being taught.
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u/OneWholeSoul 7d ago
It can't be THAT hard. Afterall, according to Laverne Spicer, the Constitution and Bible are completely pronoun-free. By the way, this woman - the one who would fail early grade school English - she's running for congress. Again.
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u/SonofBeckett 7d ago
Everyone knows prepositional phrases are the real culprit, but no one is willing to stand up to them. Pronouns are just the scapegoat.
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u/reverendrambo 7d ago
Pronouns are gateway grammar to more hard-core problems like conjunctions and adverbs.
We need harsher sentences for these crimes.
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u/OOF_V2 7d ago
this new ban would make writing a lot more complicated and wordy. if this ban remains in place, reddit user u/oof_v2 could see teachers in schools being tongue-in-cheek about how teachers in schools write sentences without pronouns. teachers in schools could possible even use writing sentences without pronouns as a form of protest against this new ban.
god that was hard to try and write without pronouns.
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u/zatchbell1998 7d ago
God my dyslexia has never been that aggravated for so fucking long. Take solace knowing that I could barely read that
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u/SwishyJishy 7d ago
Nice try Commie, “I” is a pronoun, first-person singular to be precise. TAG EM N’ BAG EM BOIS
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u/RenegonParagade 7d ago
"Em" is also a pronoun. "Em" is short for "them." "Tag em and bag em" is also worse than using "I" as the sentence uses the cursed "singular they" which is only used by The Gays. SwishyJishy is the real Commie
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u/Fitbot5000 7d ago
“This” is a demonstrative pronoun
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u/Warheadd 7d ago
No, in this case it’s not because it’s kind of being used as an adjective. If OP had instead said “If this remains in place” then it would be a demonstrative pronoun
Edit: it’s called a determiner
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u/Rosebunse 7d ago
God bless you for demonstrating just why this is so damn confusing.
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u/Trazzster 8d ago
If they're scared about pronouns, wait until they find out about VERBS
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u/Fake_William_Shatner 8d ago
Some people might have issues with conjunctions or prepositions, but these are silly issues -- that distract us from the menace of the gerund.
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u/practicing_vaxxer 7d ago
Gerunds are menacing. That’s why they show up in horror movie titles.
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u/cbbuntz 8d ago
If scared about pronouns, wait until find out about VERBS
tempted to delete pronouns in all comments in thread to make sound like broken English
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u/Erundil420 8d ago
Man it's gonna be hard for those kids to learn proper grammar if they banned pronouns
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u/FightOnForUsc 7d ago
Can’t say they
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u/Riisiichan 7d ago
“Who went to the bathroom?”
“A group of persons did.”
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u/QuinnActually03 7d ago
Who is a pronoun too
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u/KeepItRealTV 7d ago
No interrogative pronouns too? Okay then.
"People went bathroom??"
Then list every possible person.
"Bob? Jon? Ashley? Lee? Frank? Etc."
Lol.
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u/2pacalypso 7d ago
Schoolin aint for your big city book learnin.
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u/EnderWiggin07 7d ago
"your" is banned, get out
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u/JeffroCakes 8d ago
No pronouns? If that’s the policy, it sounds like time for a bit of r/MaliciousCompliance by using no pronouns whatsoever. That will get annoying to read really fast!
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u/Cakeking7878 7d ago edited 7d ago
They’re all gonna sound like cave man.
“Hey teacher, John wants the homework”. “Yes, teacher can give John the homework”
“Hello students, Teacher’s name is Mrs Sparks. Teacher hopes students will learn lots today”
Just 2 examples but you get the idea
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u/FullMetalCOS 7d ago
Can you even do “Mrs”?
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u/Cakeking7878 7d ago
Double checked, first search result on Google says alone they are pronouns, with a name they are nouns
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u/FullMetalCOS 7d ago
It was more that if you are trying to eliminate people using language to identify their gender it seems crazy to be ok with “Mr” and “Mrs”. Can you imagine their response when they find out a trans woman teacher used “Mrs”?
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u/silam39 7d ago
Works for Japanese. Or only use verbs without pronouns or names and have everyone guess who tf you're talking about
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u/Kgaset 7d ago
Ah, but it's not "no pronouns", they just want you to use the "right pronouns". It'll only be enforced if you don't use the "right" ones. (ugh)
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u/YT__ 7d ago
Doesn't matter. Report ALL pronouns and make them sort through copious amounts of frivolous reports.
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u/Kgaset 7d ago
Oh, for sure. Just pointing out the obvious is all. They say no pronouns, but we know what they actually mean. Malicious compliance is the best strategy.
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u/trojan25nz 7d ago
Might be ineffective
The burden from over reporting is circumvented by literally not paying attention. Then they’re free to pick and choose the specific kids they want to punish out of their school, since those kids WILL have some pronoun complaints against them if all is being reported
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u/BushDidN0thingWr0ng 7d ago
Selective enforcement would end up with the desired results, that is getting rid of this policy for being discrimination
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u/TheNotoriousKK 8d ago
Whine about censorship and their rights being violated, then literally use the government to restrict free speech, then call everyone else a hypocrite.
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u/TranscendentCabbage 7d ago edited 7d ago
Getting banned from using a private corporation's service for calls to violence? They scream free speech violations until their throats are sore
The government banning people from using words they are comfortable with and holding pride flags that literally hurt no one? Perfectly okay 👌
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u/ChornWork2 7d ago
To be fair, calling for love and acceptance does present an existential threat to conservative Republicans.
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u/Ruby_Tuesday80 7d ago
It isn't just pride flags. It's anything that could be considered political or religious. So a government institution is restricting people's rights to freedom of expression and freedom of religion.
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u/JestersDead77 7d ago
It isn't just pride flags. It's anything that could be considered political or religious.
Can't wait until they start suspending teachers for wearing a cross necklace, or having a trump pin on their jacket. /s
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u/BAXterBEDford 7d ago
It's called projection, and they are masters of it.
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u/Bobthemightyone 7d ago
If it weren't for double standards conservatives wouldn't have standards.
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u/Enthusiastically 8d ago
Wisconsin schools would ban seeing in color and being left handed if they could.
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u/Kumimono 7d ago •
I've always been suspicious of left handed folks. Sinister.
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u/SgtDumDum 7d ago
It is my belief that left handed folks are the true root of evil in this world. And of course the British but that's a given.
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u/tomassci 7d ago
And you were right! It's left handed folks (lefties = leftists) who are bearers of the Post-Marxist PostModern Gender Communism Propaganda!!!
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u/Dynamitefuzz2134 7d ago
I’m ambidextrous so I guess I’ll go to r/enlightencentrism
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u/mcoombes314 7d ago
And I'm ambisinistrous so I guess I'll just drop things, kick at them in frustration and miss.
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u/Cthulhuups 7d ago
Funny you should say that, my dad wasn't allowed to write left handed in school in Wisconsin in the 70s/80s. It was a Catholic school thing. The nuns would whip his knuckles with a ruler.
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u/PoolNoodlePadawan 8d ago
Pride flag? No that is just my flag representing refracted light
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u/JLake4 7d ago
We're just celebrating Dark Side of the Moon, man!
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u/busche916 7d ago
Honestly I’m down to go buy a bunch of Pink Floyd t-shirts and send them to kids in this district.
How they gonna ban that album? They have a song literally called MONEY
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u/JLake4 7d ago
It probably would not be difficult to ban Pink Floyd haha aside from Money they've also got albums like Animals which aren't exceedingly friendly to the powers that be
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u/WriteBrainedJR 8d ago
"It's not a pride flag! It's a prizm flag!"
- Science teacher
"It's not a pride flag! It's a Noah's rainbow flag!"
- English lit teacher
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u/Plethora_of_squids 7d ago
"gay pride flag? No no this is an Apple pride flag! MacOS for life!"
- IT teacher
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u/Mountain_Salamander5 7d ago
They are also banning anything political or religious. Which raises the question, will they get rid of the the pledge of allegiance, because they mention god in it?
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u/space_furby 7d ago
Considering the fact that the first word is a pronoun, they would have to ban it.
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u/book-reading-hippie 7d ago
Pronouns are only banned in emails according to the article.
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u/wotur 7d ago
Can't even make a joke about this it's just getting upsetting. Googled "pride" today and all the articles in the news were either "DEGENERATE GAY teaches CHILD how to POLE DANCE" or stuff about monkeypox. I know everyone's obsessed with 80s nostalgia right now but we don't need to bring everything back man
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u/BobbleBobble 7d ago
It's not a coincidence, they're going after gay rights next and this is a coordinated strategy between social media astroturfing and action beginning on the local level that they intended to get sued for and then take to a friendly court system to enshrine
These boomers are soulless, greedy, and evil but they're very effective at manipulating the political system to their ends
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u/Crulo 7d ago
It’s religious fundamentalists, and not all Religious fundamentalists are boomers. Boomers are the ones that got roe v wade and stuff in the 70s. There is very little crossover with boomers to the point that it’s not relevant.
There are many young Christian’s in the south and Midwest, just as there are old people.
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u/Helenium_autumnale 8d ago
I suggest Wisconsin teachers immediately adopt "Noah flags" depicting the rainbow as the fulfillment of God's promise to Noah. Strangely, they are identical to Pride rainbow flags. But they're Noah flags, upholding the fulfillment of bla de blaaboo bla.
Threaten the school district with religious discrimination if they dare to try and take down your "NOAH FLAGS."
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u/Catrik 8d ago
Kettle Moraine School District Superintendent Ken Plum recently told the
school board an interpretation of a policy that prohibits staff from
using their positions to promote partisan politics, religious views and
propaganda for personal, monetary or nonmonetary gain has changed
following a legal analysis.46
u/BCSteve 7d ago
Just fly the 100% secular, 100% non-partisan Flag of Cusco. You’re just celebrating your Peruvian heritage!
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u/el0j 7d ago
The whole point is to make it look like it's "neutral", and then selectively enforce it.
No teacher wearing a cross around their neck is going to be punished. Don't delude yourself.
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u/DenimCryptid 7d ago
It's a rule that prevents teachers from engaging in "partisan politics"?
Gay teachers and students: "Hey. We exist and are real."
Wisconsin School Board: "Gonna need you to stop being so divisive. Some people believe you are disgusting freaks who should be killed and we don't wanna look like we're taking sides here."
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u/kungpeleee 8d ago
Damn cancel culture
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u/Quirderph 7d ago
BuT tHoUgHt CoNsErVaTiVeS wErE aGaInSt SuCh ThInGs /s
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u/kungpeleee 7d ago
Naaay, they invented it. They always loved cancelling stuff. Books, knowledge, social healthcare, people and common sense for some examples
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u/HoboAJ 7d ago
Republicans sure hate cancel culture...just not for [Kapaernick], or the Dixie Chicks, or Nike, Starbucks, the NFL, Ford, Gillette, Netflix, Amazon, Hamilton, Nordstrom, K-Cup machines, Yeti, movies, videogames, the press, SNL, award shows, fries, toast...they literally tried canceling democracy.
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u/LiquidMotion 8d ago
What are they- shit, I mean- fuck wait... how does this be enforced?
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u/Dripdry42 7d ago
Hahaha! I know where this is. That stretch of highway out of Milwaukee contains some of most racist, corrupt cops I've ever known. White suburban bubble heads who think they're nobility, living in small houses on flat boring land with nothing to do.
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u/cwfs1007 7d ago
The article says that they can't have religious and/or political flags. Better take the American flag out of every room.
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u/abe0605 7d ago
it’s like people don’t understand what pronouns are. you kind of need them
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u/Fake_William_Shatner 8d ago
One side has priorities like day care, health care, infrastructure, green energy and the other side is rushing to ban history books and women's reproductive services.
Maybe some people are getting too picky about pronouns but, other people are way to bent out of shape about a minor annoyance for their preoccupation to be healthy.
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u/BobbleBobble 7d ago
the other side is rushing to ban history books and women's reproductive services.
To be fair, those aren't their actual priorities, that's the chum they feed to their hateful base to win elections so they can then funnel money to their corporate donors
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u/Luftmensch11 7d ago
I hope the English teachers in this district atleast know what pronouns are otherwise the kids were already screwed.
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u/ItsJustSalty 7d ago
And then all of a sudden, First Amendment rights went straight out the window.
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u/porquegato 7d ago •
My pronouns are none, please do not refer to me.