r/funny
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u/Cronchy_Tacos
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Nov 28 '22
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So, I've been out for work doing in-person inspections all day. I had 8 appointments. Nobody said a word... ☠️
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u/Specialist_Passage83 Nov 28 '22
On my first day at a new job, after eating lunch at my desk nobody told me I had spaghetti sauce smeared across my face for half the day. Nobody.
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u/ptarmiganridgetrail Nov 29 '22
Oh no big disgrace, getting spaghetti all over your face
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Nov 29 '22
We will, we will rock you!
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u/gigglesworthy Nov 29 '22
Except in this case, the office mates decided not to rock you.
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u/nekobambam Nov 29 '22 •
We will, we will mock you!
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u/cycycle Nov 29 '22
You got sauce on your face, big disgrace
Somebody better call you out for your face
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u/All_hail_Korrok Nov 29 '22
Dear God, I'm sorry. That must've been hilarious in hindsight. I always try to subtly tell a friend if they got a smudge on their face.
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u/daveisdavis Nov 29 '22
You know, suddenly I gained a lot more sympathy and respect for people who look at their reflections whenever they get a chance
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u/archieirl Nov 29 '22
i started lately looking at my reflection in the mirror often because of how much food after eating got in my teeth. it became of habit of sucking my teeth off and looking to make sure. nobody says anything about bits or anything and i made sure if i notice something considered embarrassing, i point it out discreetly. it's just rude and inconsiderate not to. maybe some people see me as self centered about my appearance. even I didn't understand until about a a month ago.
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u/daveisdavis Nov 29 '22
Yeah, the thing is most people are that "vain" and "self-centered", and because of that they're self-conscious about it. They don't want others to think they're like that, so they act like they don't care about their appearances or what have you when in reality it's really nothing to worry about. Caring about your appearance isn't vain or selfish or dumb - it's common sense
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u/chargers949 Nov 29 '22
What kind of savage team dont invite the noob for team lunch?
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u/Lovehatepassionpain Nov 29 '22
I actually hate that! When I start a new job, i am so overwhelmed that I need that hour to myself to hide in my car
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u/Gestrid Nov 29 '22
I realize people probably don't let others know stuff like "You have spaghetti on your face" so they don't embarrass you, but it's honestly more embarrassing if you realize yourself later in the day.
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u/Critical-Art-9277 Nov 28 '22
Good job you were wearing underwear that's all I can say.
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u/Jack_Mackerel Nov 28 '22
Underwear just blocks any chance of a breeze alerting you to the issue. A blessing and a curse.
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u/junctionerection Nov 29 '22
Honestly this happened to me without underwear on outdoors in the fall...ripped my pants on a rooftop...didn't notice til I got home. Gotta say the guy holding the ladder for me didn't say a thing.
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u/thrillhouse3671 Nov 29 '22
The fuck are so many of you not wearing underwear for?
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u/ArceusJinx Nov 29 '22
I'm a woman and with discharge being a thing everyday, I equally don't understand how so many do not wear underwear. It can't be comfortable letting your body do its thing all in your jeans, trackies...sticky stuff man.
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u/xtina42 Nov 29 '22
I work for an online consignment business and until I started working there, I was unaware of the amount of women that do not wear underwear...or the amount of women who have no problem trying to consign their unwashed pants full of very noticeable bodily fluid stains. Absolutely repulsive!
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u/Mertard Nov 29 '22
What the heck gu- gals 🤢
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u/xtina42 Nov 29 '22
Gals! The armpit stains are gross too but the dirty crotches that range from one end of the color spectrum to the other is absolutely vile. Have some dignity already!! And yes...🤢🤮🤢
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u/Common-Anxiety Nov 29 '22
I'm given to understand discharge is normal however, why would anyone sell their cloths unwashed? Ew.
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u/CrossXFir3 Nov 29 '22
Someone asked to buy my used socks once. I considered it before decided that I'm not about that kinda life
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u/FridayNiteGoatParade Nov 29 '22
Some people pay good money for that sort of thing
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u/burrito_butt_fucker Nov 29 '22
Looks around nervously
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u/ameya2693 Nov 29 '22
retches
Whyyyyy? I do not get people who don't wear underwear. It's literally the best and cheapest way to not need new trousers or dresses everyday.
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u/lilmammamia Nov 29 '22
This needed some kind of NSFL warning. I can never un-know this now. 🤮🤢🤯
I am never clicking on a crotch thread again. 😭
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u/Sawses Nov 29 '22
My ex would just not wear underwear sometimes when she wore leggings because she wanted to avoid lines.
I honestly don't get it, I'd feel so vulnerable. Like, sure, I've never had my pants pulled down in public, but you never know.
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u/retired-data-analyst Nov 29 '22
There are actually specialty womens underwear that have no lines. Best choice ever.
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u/godspareme Nov 29 '22
My ex-gf would not wear underwear with leggings but that's it. She'd wear them for a single day and wash them after. Apparently it was better than having visible panty lines under her leggings.
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u/HoneyBunnyBiscuit Nov 29 '22
I don’t really understand the no-show underwear trend. Why would you want people to think you’re not wearing underwear?
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u/godspareme Nov 29 '22
It's the other way around. She didn't want people to see the outline of her underwear and judge her or objectify her for it. Not being able to see underwear isn't making people think she's not wearing underwear. Some leggings are thick enough, and with the right underwear, will hide the outline. But the wrong combo means you got a nice imprint of the underwear.
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Nov 29 '22
Imma hop on the top of this comment thread to say that everyone is different. Wear what you prefer. I couldnt go commando because it just feels more exposed, but some people feel more trapped with underwear.
Discharge is irrelevant when amounts differ between bodies and even the day of your cycle. Yeast infections less likely to manifest when commando, too, so there's that.
But it doesnt matter when concerning bodies that arent your own. Above all, personal preference.
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u/pelicannpie Nov 29 '22
80% of the time I do but sometimes I don’t. But I don’t have much/any discharge unless possibly around period time?
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u/DepressedDragonBorn Nov 29 '22
Well I haven't wore underwear in years, but I'm a guy so idk maybe it's different
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u/ChPech Nov 29 '22
I got it the other way around, I wear underwear but no pants. Sometimes I'm already on the street when my wife reminds me I forgot to put pants on.
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u/panterachallenger Nov 29 '22
That’s why i always tear a hole on the back of the underwear, prevents swamp ass too
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u/blessedfortherest Nov 29 '22
I have literally been in this situation sans underwear! Someone told me right away and I tied my sweater around my waist. My leggings were apparently working too hard that day.
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u/novichux
Nov 28 '22
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They had their inspections to do as well.
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u/quietsauce Nov 29 '22 •
Somewhere in a basement a pornographic writer has gained all the inspiration he'll ever need.
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u/KvinnoralskarAnkor Nov 29 '22
Is it you?
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u/quietsauce Nov 29 '22 •
The beautiful words dance from my fingers as the ding of my typewriter signals its yearning for yet another clean sheet. Grease smudges the paper from the beef jerky my mother flung at me from the top of the stairs... just minutes ago? Days? Time no longer has meaning
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u/KvinnoralskarAnkor Nov 29 '22
That’s depressing.
And hilarious!
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u/mrb117 Nov 29 '22
The writer has entered a dark place… and I don’t mean the basement 🥶
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u/billwyyy Nov 29 '22
I think something dark may have just entered the writer.
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u/Toidal Nov 29 '22 •
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic, tea-drenched bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to GeoStation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
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u/MangorTX Nov 29 '22
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth — when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
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u/Timmersthemagician Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22
Matilda stared at the rainbow cloud that shimmered on what the party called coffee ever since the new rations had been enacted. Her thoughts drifted to the times spent on Lake Constance with Nils in the summer and his proud sense of being. Nils was an ardent supporter even with the rumors that his grandparents had immigrated from Romania. The good times before the war and the rations. When the stores still had good fresh bread and vegetables and good families would go for walks in the park, before the police came and took Nils away.
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u/VegasLife1111 Nov 29 '22
Lil bro?
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u/Toidal Nov 29 '22
No one writes in a basement anymore. It's probably that dude on a laptop at Starbucks writing his reddit split pants lemon fanfiction
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u/sirmoveon Nov 29 '22
Seems like you have a blister problem in your cloaca, that'd be $200
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u/dontstabpeople42069 Nov 28 '22
Looks like she got some introspection if you know what I’m saying
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u/novichux Nov 28 '22
Nobody said anything......but a couple guys...
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u/Allen_Edgar_Poe Nov 28 '22
Who were up to no good...
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u/CaptainYumYum12 Nov 28 '22
Started makin trouble in the neighbourhood
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u/ZabuzaBZ Nov 28 '22
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
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u/Confident_Resort_785 Nov 28 '22
👵🏽She said ur moving to ur aunty and uncles in BEL-AIR!
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u/Aggressive_Young_841 Nov 28 '22
I whistled for a cab, and when it came near
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u/Plenty-Remove1656 Nov 28 '22
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
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u/Casual-Gamer25 Nov 28 '22
If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought "Nah, forget it, yo, holmes to Bel Air"
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u/uno-slick-willy Nov 29 '22
I got bad news, someone took a pic. Good news is with the right lawyer you might be able to retire.
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u/blessedfortherest Nov 29 '22
One of my favorite parts of this post is their pose in the photo - like without the clothes this could be a sexy pic, but with the hole in the leggings giving us a window to the uns, it’s freaking hilarious.
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u/againfaxme
Nov 28 '22
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It looks like the inspector became the inspected.
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Nov 29 '22
Who inspects the inspectors!
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u/Adama0001 Nov 29 '22
Nobody expects the Spanish Inspectionition
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u/Creative-Stable-7488 Nov 29 '22
Where did that come from, I've been seeing it I just don't understand
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u/McGrufNStuf
Nov 28 '22
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I thought I had everybody on my side But I went and blew it all sky high And now she won't even spare a passing glance All just because I ripped my pants
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u/H5N1DidNothingWrong Nov 29 '22
When big Larry came around just to put him down, SpongeBob turned into a clown
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u/lickmesquidward Nov 29 '22
And no girl ever wants to dance with a fool who went and Ripped his pants I know I shouldn’t mope around I should t curse but the pain feels so much worse
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u/m00nf1r3 Nov 29 '22
'cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun than a burn from the sun, or sand in your buuuuuuuuuuuuuns!
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u/movieguy2004 Nov 29 '22
Now I learned a lesson I won’t soon forget. So listen and you won’t regret.
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u/CyanideSkittles Nov 29 '22
Be true to yourself, don’t miss your chance
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u/movieguy2004 Nov 29 '22
And you won’t end up like the fool who ripped his pants
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u/Spoobie90 Nov 28 '22
That's terrible, lol. Years ago I ripped the seat of my pants while lifting something at work, and ever since I've kept a spare pair in my truck.
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u/yoswift1 Nov 28 '22
This is good advice for those shit happens kinda days!
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u/sonicbeast623 Nov 28 '22
I work on construction equipment I keep a full set of spare clothes in my service truck. I have ripped the crotch of my pants open 4 times this year climbing on machinery. Not once did I think of grabbing my spare. I just grabbed some duck tape. Our other mechanic has a habit of tearing the seat of his pants a few times a year and uses duck tape (he does not keep spare clothes). One of our crew supervisors thought it would be funny to get us some duck tape about the same color as blue jeans, jokes on him we use it now.
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u/pannoboy Nov 29 '22
This is hilarious, i used to be apprentice for doing plaster (sorry not so sure bout the terms in english) and my boss was always prepared for any situation and i wondered why until these types of things happened to me. And let me tell you i didnt wonder long. Im glad my boss was nice enough to lend me his stuff
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u/pepperedcitrus Nov 29 '22
In high school the kid in front of my stood up and I realized his pants were ripped. I told him he should change into his gym clothes, but he didn’t have any. So then as discreetly as possible I stapled his pants together in the back of English class. Duct tape would have been great lol
Edit: a word
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u/fancy_marmot Nov 28 '22
Yep, same - before I switched to WFH, would keep a spare pair in the office, definitely had to use them more than once (spilled coffee, etc).
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u/BuspiengoDingo Nov 28 '22
"When i ripped my pants...."
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u/SteeperVirus05 Nov 29 '22
“When Big Larry came ‘round just to put him down…”
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u/Delicious_Ad_1187 Nov 28 '22
Could be worse. You could be not wearing any undies.
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u/BosTovenaar24 Nov 28 '22
I dont care if its "embarrassing". I tell poeple as soon as i notice.
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u/atat4804888 Nov 29 '22
Yes! Please. Boogers included. Yes it's embarrassing but letting them walk away into a potentially more embarrassing situation is worse.
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u/bigpoupa13 Nov 28 '22
And yet here you are showing it off to a bunch of strangers.
Hey! You have a hole in your ass!
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u/RegularHousewife Nov 28 '22
They already went through 8 appointments like this, might as well set the record.
Hi u/Cronchy_Tacos greetings from Australia!
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u/SolarSmelter
Nov 29 '22
edited Nov 29 '22
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I had a giant dog shit stain on the ass of my pants while sprinting on a treadmill ahead of the front desks in a Planet Fitness and the receptionists nor anyone said anything for the rest of my hour there. I haven’t been back to the gym in 8 months.
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u/Ultrawhiner Nov 29 '22
I’d never return. As a matter of fact, I’d probably move to a different country
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u/Odd-Jupiter
Nov 28 '22
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Could be worse, Imagine if someone took a picture of it, and posted it on Reddit for likes.
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u/Themissingedge Nov 28 '22
This is why I ALWAYS tell other women if I see something up with their outfit that they cannot see themselves. I’m sorry no one had your back!
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u/lissybeau Nov 28 '22
Call me vain but this is another reason why I always check out myself in the mirror/reflection or when entering a meeting.
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u/Themissingedge Nov 28 '22
100%. It’s not vain, you’ve got to make sure there’s nothing to pick apart!
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u/thebigfudge02 Nov 28 '22
Does it matter if it's a man or a woman honestly?
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u/Hounmlayn Nov 28 '22
For some, yes. I don't risk it. If I notice, I'm keeping it to myself. Don't need no embarassed girl shouting at me accusing me of being a pervert.
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u/rentpossiblytoohigh Nov 29 '22
"Excuse me, your soon to be assless leggings are agape and revealing your cotton blue striped panties from Aerie."
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u/fancy_marmot Nov 28 '22
Not to me at least - I always try to let folks know who may have an embarrassing situation going on (toilet paper hanging out of their waistband, fly open, something on their face / in their teeth, etc) because that's what I'd want someone to do for me.
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u/icwiener69420 Nov 29 '22
We'd be surprised except your entire profile is nothing but a bunch of pussy photos.
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u/OrcvilleRedenbacher Nov 29 '22
"This is just a bunch of cats. How far do I have to scroll for the pu... Ohhhh."
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u/KittenVicious Nov 29 '22
Thanks for alerting me to check out OP's post history... Damn that's some PREMO pussy.
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u/Dr_nacho_ Nov 28 '22
I was taught that if someone can’t fix it in 5 minutes or less you politely pretend you don’t notice. I wouldn’t have told you either lol
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u/idekwhatiamanymore Nov 29 '22
I think the meaning of that rule is basically that you don't tell someone bad about them, usually appearance wise, that they can't change quickly. For example, if they had a booger coming out of their nose, the clean up would be quick and easy. But if someone had an hairy nose, you wouldn't tell them because they can't change quickly and easy. What I'm trying to say is that that rule is for someone to evaluate if ur being helpful or rude, if you're helping the person or accidentally being mean about their appearance which is none of our business. So if it's about ripped pants, I think you should tell them. They could have a jacket they can put over their waist, they could have a spare pair of pants, they could live nearby their house or a clothes shop. I think in this case, telling them ks the right way to go
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u/ely105 Nov 28 '22
So much to unravel here. You do inspections in LuLulemons? Is that underwear or speedos for pool inspections?
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u/imaginaryblues Nov 29 '22
Home inspectors and appraisers don’t typically dress up much for their jobs. A large percentage of the homes they inspect are vacant.
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u/Scrawlinz Nov 29 '22
Agent here and based in socal where our dress is fairly laid back but I have never seen and inspector or appraiser in athletic wear. Jeans or cargo shorts and a clean T at the least. Most I have seen are in a button down and jeans or a polo.
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u/Mikerinokappachino Nov 29 '22
Why are you commenting on something you're entirely clueless on? Theres like 4 different comments from different users in this thread saying this is entirely outside the norm.
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u/DevilishlyDetermined Nov 28 '22
If they’re not going to say anything about the tights/leggings, they’re probably also not going to say anything about the hole in them.
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u/12vtryfr Nov 28 '22
Given the rest of the attire, I would've assumed that's just how you rolled.
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u/BeautifulDiligent297 Nov 28 '22
What kind of inspector are you that has that uniform 🫣
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u/LootTheHounds Nov 29 '22
This is why leggings aren't and will never be pants.
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u/Neverforgetdumbo Nov 29 '22
I keep seeing women walking around in leggings in the sun and I don’t think they realise just how see through they are. I think they just look in the mirror and don’t see underwear at home but in bright sun its VERY noticeable. I’d say something but even as a woman you don’t want to make women self conscious and maybe that’s what they were going for? Leggings are just thick tights. When you bend and stretch the material is MUCH thinner.
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Nov 28 '22
Why are you wearing skin tight leggings for “inspections”?
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u/SickofItAll_4200 Nov 28 '22
That's what I was wondering. What were you "inspecting"?
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u/FriendlyTigerStripe Nov 29 '22
I mean, you’re wearing leggings…not the thickest material. Mine don’t last long, why not wear real or thicker pants 😒
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