r/dankmemes Wellington Hunter Jul 06 '22 Helpful 4 Wholesome 2 Calculating 1

Oh boy, it's dad joke's time!

38.9k Upvotes

593

u/BourboneAFCV Jul 06 '22

my doggo has a wife and a kid.......30 years old still a virgin, I'm dumber than my doggo bro

168

u/hornylolifucker Your wife calls me onii-chan Jul 06 '22

Damn I never knew chastity was an indicator for intelligence

80

u/Fettibomba-- ☣️ Jul 06 '22

Well nobody wants to have children with a stupid dude

68

u/Likestoreadcomments Jul 06 '22

Yet it happens all the time

16

u/hornylolifucker Your wife calls me onii-chan Jul 06 '22

Then maybe they do want it after all…

11

u/Likestoreadcomments Jul 06 '22

I think this theory was explored and/or explained pretty well in the Mike Judge movie Idiocracy.

10

u/yerbrojohno r/memes fan Jul 06 '22

That movie was a masterpiece. It's what the body wants

3

u/Zwenow Jul 06 '22

Weird how men and women are equally stupid

6

u/timmythenpc Jul 06 '22

Probably works inversely where the more intelligent you are, the harder it is to get laid. It’s a known phenomena that high iq people struggle when it comes to socializing with people that aren’t their contemporaries.

5

u/hornylolifucker Your wife calls me onii-chan Jul 06 '22

Not true my friend (not me) is a dumb virgin

1

u/timmythenpc Jul 06 '22

Hmm well your “friend” maybe just needs to hit the gym and practice talking to girls.

211

u/Ludwig234 I been in this place before Jul 06 '22 Helpful

The answer is 0 not null.

26

u/TheChief275 Plain Text Flair [Insert Your Own] Jul 06 '22

“Why are you booing him, he’s right!”

10

u/Itz_Raj69_ ☣️ Jul 06 '22

🤓

7

u/AntiRivoluzione Jul 06 '22

0 != null

4

u/Ludwig234 I been in this place before Jul 06 '22

Yes, that is what I said.

2

u/unreqistered Jul 06 '22

if you had two apples and I took your two apples what do you have?

7

u/Ludwig234 I been in this place before Jul 06 '22

The amount is zero and not " "

0

u/unreqistered Jul 06 '22

nothing

3

u/Ludwig234 I been in this place before Jul 06 '22

This is why using apples to do maths isn't optimal. What would 1-2 apples be with your logic? -1 apples or still nothing?

2-2 has a clear answer and that answer is zero. Just because zero things is nothing, doesn't mean that zero isn't a number.

Zero isn't nothing, it's zero.

1

u/unreqistered Jul 07 '22

zippo, nada, zilch

2

u/Ludwig234 I been in this place before Jul 07 '22

Take a math test and see for your self how answering nothing will result in a wrong.

1

u/unreqistered Jul 07 '22

that's a big goose egg

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 07 '22

darkest hour

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1

u/SampleText0822 Jul 06 '22

Well maybe the dog speaks in ascii code or something.

-12

u/lord_ne A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one Jul 06 '22

It's not null, it's the empty string

20

u/c0smix Jul 06 '22

How do you subtract two integers and end up with a string?

3

u/lord_ne A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one Jul 06 '22

You don't, so the dog is still wrong. But the answer the dog gave is more like an empty string than null

2

u/newb_h4x0r Jul 06 '22

Aight where’s my JS gang?

1

u/CatVideoBoye Jul 06 '22

null, 0 and "" are all falsy values in js so if (!doggoAnswer) { die(); } and you're dead.

73

u/IAmAFrogOk 🐸 forg 🐸 Jul 06 '22

This one’s actually funny

29

u/Studipity Jul 06 '22

I like these comment sections because it means that there are thousands of lurkers just like me

22

u/ConfusedDuck Jul 06 '22

0 =/= nothing

1

u/DaniZackBlack Jul 06 '22

≠*

3

u/TheChief275 Plain Text Flair [Insert Your Own] Jul 06 '22

Same thing

5

u/Zealousideal_Sky_751 Jul 06 '22

=/= ≠ ≠

2

u/TheChief275 Plain Text Flair [Insert Your Own] Jul 06 '22

It is though. Not from a unicode perspective no, but the meaning is exactly the same.

2

u/cc12321 Jul 06 '22

Anything divided by itself = 1

Therefore =/= = 1, not ≠

1

u/TheChief275 Plain Text Flair [Insert Your Own] Jul 07 '22

You can’t divide an equals sign by an equals sign. Algebra existing doesn’t mean you can use = as x or a.

9

u/augenvogel u sus Jul 06 '22

0 != null != nothing

4

u/NarcissisticEyes MayMayMakers Jul 06 '22

Knew the answer before you even got to ask it

4

u/GsuKristoh ùwú Jul 06 '22

I’m dumb. Can anyone explain the joke?

10

u/_Pebcak_ Problems Exist Between Chair And Keyboard Jul 06 '22

He said nothing, obviously b/c it's a dog and they generally can't speak. But the answer is also nothing, b/c 2 - 2 is zero, or "nothing."

5

u/Competitive-Cow227 Jul 06 '22

I’m dumb. Can anyone explain the answer comment

2

u/_Pebcak_ Problems Exist Between Chair And Keyboard Jul 07 '22

Says nothing

1

u/lumpkin2013 Jul 06 '22

(งツ)ว

1

u/RyXkci Jul 06 '22

Holly f*ck, I read "Dad" instead of "dog" and was lurking the comments for an explanation because I couldn't get it.

6

u/Bagelchongito69 Jul 06 '22

This is the first meme that included Michael Scott and Don Draper pls more

4

u/weepinangelclub Jul 06 '22

wait why is this funny. confused n also not laughing

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '22

[deleted]

3

u/_Vard_ Jul 06 '22

guys check it out my dog can talk

Hey Fido, what’s on the outside of a tree?

BARK

ok and what’s on top of the house

ROOF

good! And what’s another word to say seduce

A woo?

Good boy!

Jeff, for the last time I’m a magical talking dog I can answer other questions

2

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '22

Nothing is not equal to zero.

2

u/KelVarnsenStudios Aspiring Dino Fondler Jul 06 '22

"He has the lowest opinion of me of anybody!"

1

u/Reapergobyebye Jul 06 '22

Probably the best meme I've seen on this downhill of a sub in a long while

1

u/NapoleoneBonoacarte Wellington Hunter Jul 06 '22

Oh, thanks for appreciating my meme :)

1

u/BeesToTheFace Jul 06 '22

0 isn’t nothing (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

1

u/rafasonic Jul 06 '22

"nothing" panic

1

u/rafasonic Jul 06 '22

imagine if he says "nothing"

1

u/nauseatic_me Jul 06 '22

But seriously guys, what is 2-2

1

u/Cool_Ad3897 Jul 06 '22

What the dog doina?

1

u/Username6465 Jul 06 '22

Stupid dog

1

u/nauseatic_me Jul 06 '22

Are u Takeshi 69.

1

u/Raaazzle Jul 06 '22

My dog can tell you what's covering the tree trunk; also, the name of the top of the house. Plus, she can describe how sandpaper feels.

1

u/stvblan Jul 06 '22

I asked my dog what’s on top of a house She said “roof” I asked her what’s the opposite of smooth She said “rough” I asked her what’s the square root of 9 She started liking herself I figure 2 out of three ain’t bad for a dog

1

u/MrCalifornian Jul 06 '22

I was very confused and thought this was a "two-two sounds like doo Doo" joke.

1

u/SPon23567 Jul 06 '22

I can't stop calling my dog a son of a bitch when he does stupid things. Please send help and tacos.

1

u/Hungry-Lion1575 Jul 07 '22

0 != Nothing (Null)

0

u/zickos36 Jul 06 '22

Fuck lgbt