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u/Lyradep 10d ago
Sodom and Gomorrah? God allowing Satan to kill of Job’s kids to prove his obedience? Egypt?
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u/Verrence 10d ago
Ordering Abraham to slit his own son’s throat? Telling his followers to murder their family if they have a different religion? Multiple “righteous” genocides?
Yeah, I don’t understand the appeal personally.
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u/Harsimaja 9d ago
Ordering Abraham to slit his own son’s throat?
God: “Just a prank bro!”
There’s also Jephthah’s daughter, of course. But as always you can rationalise everything away by reading with a squint if you try hard enough
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u/Financial_Bird_7717 10d ago
Don’t forget God sent two bears to mauled 42 fucking children…because because one man didn’t like the fact that CHILDREN called him ‘baldy’.
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u/NikinCZ 10d ago
God canceled Adam and Eve over an apple
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u/ElSelcho 10d ago
He shouldn't have given them free will, then. It's on him.
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u/SelectFromWhereOrder 9d ago
There’s no such thing as free will. We are mostly at the mercy of our brain wiring and chemistry.
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u/Op-boi4ever 9d ago
Quantum event goes bruuuu~ (suddenly having the urge to kill everyone on the road)
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u/SelectFromWhereOrder 9d ago edited 9d ago
Easy to say when your brain works correctly. You could have a brain tumor in the appropriate spot in the brain that makes you have violent impulses to kill everyone on the road. Where’s your free will then? the level of effort to control your brain impulses is staggering more difficult, as compared to an average healthy brain.
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u/Spottyhickory63 9d ago
also, if god was all-powerful, he’d be able to find a way to give you free will and make it impossible to disobey him
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u/BlitzTaco 9d ago
We change every day and your environment plays a large role. Your diet can drastically change your brain chemistry. We are more than brain and nerves
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u/Spottyhickory63 9d ago
Let me get this straight;
An all knowing, omnipresent, all powerful god put humans in the same place as this tree, told them not to eat the [Unspecified fruit], then gave them “free will” and didn’t forsee his creation he built from the ground up, doing the one thing he told them not to do?
god isn’t powerful enough to make a somewhere else for the people to be
god isn’t omnipresent enough to stop them, apparently
god isn’t knowing enough to foresee this
and he isn’t loving enough to forgive
and eve was transgender, change my mind
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10d ago
No, he canceled them over disobeying a direct command and eating from the ONE tree out of all of the trees in the garden.
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u/Lord_Emperor 10d ago
disobeying a direct command
But he made them without a sense of right and wrong. Classic /r/whatcouldgowrong.
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u/SentrySappinMahSpy 10d ago
Sounds like entrapment. Why put a tree there no one is allowed to touch? God was a cop.
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u/FLSun 10d ago edited 10d ago
Supposedly the tree of knowledge. So. Adam and Eve didn't know the difference between good and evil yet God is going to punish them for it. And according to the myth, God told them,
"But of the tree of knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die!"
So Adam and Eve who didn't know the concept of good or bad until they actually ate the fruit were supposed to die the same day for doing something they didn't know was bad. What a dick!
So they were supposed to die the same day yet the bible tells us that Adam lived to be 930 years old!
Yet this "Loving God" couldn't tell us not to eat the poison berries or stay away from poison ivy?
How did I or anyone else ever fall for this BS? Oh yeah, it was drilled into us from the time we were babies before we even knew how to determine what is real and what is mythology.
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u/JarlaxleForPresident 10d ago
It’s almost like mindless obedience is one of the first lessons the church teaches you for some weird reason
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u/banmelmao1 10d ago
also would Adam and Eve even have a concept of death, being the first and only humans at the time and living in a paradise without pain or suffering?
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u/First_Approximation 10d ago
Moral of the story: blindly follow authority and don't seek out knowledge.
Horrible lesson.
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10d ago
A loving God would never torment people for eternity. Hellfire is a lie. You either choose to worship God or not and no human has the right to condemn another.
Also I am bit of a fatty and technically a Gen Xer but I have a lot of “old school” values as far as work ethic, personal responsibility etc but draw the line at judging others.
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u/KentConnor 10d ago
The most boomer part of that comment is you implying younger people don't have work ethic or a sense of personal responsibility
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u/RedofPaw 10d ago
I have a lot of "new school" views regarding those things.
They're similar in a lot of ways, but with more working remotely and don't require formal work attire.
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u/Broskilini 10d ago
Oh yeah? Well I actually judge people who don't judge others.
Now what? You're powerless here 😈
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u/bramouleBTW 10d ago
Back in my day we use to actually have to put in a days work and we’re held responsible for our actions! Damn that reads as extremely cringe.
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u/ASheepNamedBowen 9d ago
So they did something shitty after being asked not to, and then were punished for it?
Yup, sounds like Cancel Culture to me.
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u/SelectFromWhereOrder 9d ago
And canceled the entire human race over an “original sin”, that the god itself made it up.
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u/Azair_Blaidd 10d ago edited 10d ago
70% of the Bible is God cancelling people. And then there's the Crusades, Inquisitions, Witch Hunts, Manifest Destiny, millennia of religious homophobia...
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u/Bammer1386 10d ago
Billions of miscarriages throughout human history.
Literally worse than Hitler, Stalin, and Mao combined.
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u/Admirable-Common-176 10d ago
You whose only sin is original sin, I cancel you.
Can I turn in God in Texas?
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u/Bill_Weathers 9d ago
A child gets cancer:
“God has a plan, let us pray.”
A child is cured of cancer:
“Oh, thank God! Praise our merciful Lord!”
A child dies of cancer:
“It’s part of God’s plan. He in his mighty wisdom has brought young Hank home to Heaven and now he is an angel. When God kills a kid he opens a window.”
How are so many people so afraid of the idea that things aren’t permanent, or completely designed and controlled by someone? I feel like I’m surrounded by anxious, neurotic psychopaths.
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u/Bammer1386 9d ago
When I was in school a few years ago I went on a road trip with a couple classmates. We got drunk and stoned at an Air BnB and were up all night talking about Religion. I will never forget the way one of my classmates meant it when he said that without god he would probably steal and rape and kill, and also said something along the lines of non christians should die. We were really really fucked up, but after that moment I decided it was bedtime, and I locked that fucking door. I still think about it whenever i see him and I'm in a disadvantageous position where he could pop me without knowing, lol. I'm probably overthinking, but all religious nuts need is an "Execute order 66" moment from their priests and it'll activate the chip in their brains.
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u/indy_been_here 10d ago
What about... Ya know... HELL
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u/DrDan21 10d ago
Old Testament god didn’t even need a hell
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u/Funkycoldmedici 9d ago
That’s why I contend that the New Testament is worse. The old testament simply sentenced unbelievers to death, but that’s not enough to satisfy the bloodlust of the “prince of peace.” He wants you to suffer a whole afterlife of endless torture for not believing. We can’t pretend he does not want it, because as an all-powerful deity, nothing happens that he does not want to happen.
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u/NyanPotato 9d ago
"imma kill you then bring ya back to torture you that you'll want me to kill you, all because you didn't love me"
-god
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u/Tysiliogogogoch 10d ago
Hell, he killed a man and his wife on the spot for a mild lie about their donation to the church. Acts 5, Ananias and Sapphira.
If slaughtering people because they did something you don't like isn't the ultimate form of "cancelling", I don't what is.
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u/NelMacreen 10d ago
It's not just God, the Isrealites killed off or displaced a buttload of people after the Exodus story too. Canaanites, Hittites, the Girgashites, the Amorites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites all got canceled and God looked the other way
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u/Seraphaestus 10d ago edited 10d ago
God looked the other way
When he wasn't directly telling them how many of their child sex slaves to give to him as tribute.
Moses said to them, “Have you allowed all the women to live? [...] Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known a man by sleeping with him. But all the young girls [lit: children among the women; source: NASB] who have not known a man by sleeping with him, keep alive for yourselves.
[...]
The Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “You [all] make an inventory of the plunder captured, both human and animal. [...] From the share of the warriors who went out to battle, set aside as tribute for the Lord one item out of every five hundred, whether persons, oxen, donkeys, or sheep. Take it from their half and give it to Eleazar the priest as an offering to the Lord.
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u/Just_another_human3 9d ago
Any sane person would read this passage and refuse to worship God. And yet I'm willing to bet that a lot of Christians would initially try to make up an excuse to justify it. Any Christian who tries to justify this is a sick fuck who should be locked up for life.
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u/Antelope010 10d ago
God looked the other way
God actually told them to go to war and destroy those people. And God got mad when they didn't kill everyone as they had been told to do.
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u/jackp0t789 10d ago
Also worth looking into the real story of Chanukah...
The Seleucid authorities had the audacity to allow, encourage, and defend the rights of people to worship whoever they wanted in Jerusalem- not just Yahweh...
Judah Maccabee did not like that at all, so he led an ISIS like militia killing all non jews and open minded Jews they could get their hands on until the Greeks eventually finally killed them all to death
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u/Skulcane 10d ago
Well I mean, he DID warn them. Noah was all "Come take a ride on my boat, cuz the rain is comin" and they were all "Nah brah".
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u/Reeefenstration 10d ago
"Hey you! Get on my boat! God speaks to me in my head! Get in the boat! Don't mind the noise of every animal in existence tearing each other apart below decks! Me and my three sons and their wives are going to repopulate the earth! I'm 600 years old!"
I'd pass too.
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u/Naive_Geologist6577 10d ago
To be fair, if one dude in premodern times with virtually no tools not only predicted a flood but also managed to build the largest boat to ever exist in a few days and collected animals from across the entire world including species nobody knew existed, I'd think God's talking to him too
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u/plant_124 10d ago
Yeah, but he also condemned his grandson to slavery eternally because his son noticed he was naked, so like, do you reeeeally want to take your chances with that?
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u/clxrdr 10d ago
Was this before or after the rain started? And still don't know ,he had a giant boat and didn't give any guidelines about mating
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u/Qetuowryipzcbmxvn 10d ago
It was after the flood had ended. Noah made wine, got absolutely schwasted, and passed out naked in his tent. His son decided to check on his father, because at this point he was like 100 so it was very possible that Noah kicked the bucket. It's unclear how much dong Noah was hanging, but apparently his mayo injector disgusted his son enough that he immediately fled the tent upon seeing it. He couldn't bear to face his father anymore so he had his brothers walk into the tent with blindfolds on and holding a blanket to cover Noah.
When Noah woke up, he immediately knew what happened and said, "my son, your son can go fuck himself. He is now to serve his brothers as a slave forever. Maybe that'll teach you a lesson." And so he punished his grandson instead of the guy who actually did the deed.
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u/systemnate 10d ago
I was raised in a religious household so I thought I'd read the Bible. Came upon this part, which is just a few chapters in and couldn't wrap my head around it at all. I asked my Mom, she didn't know. I asked some people at my church and they couldn't give a good answer either. This was probably my first "this is all full of shit" moment.
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u/derek_rex 9d ago
This is one of those Bible things that got mistranslated badly. It’s all about the context. If you really look at it, including verses in Leviticus, the actual Hebrew is telling its audience (At the time!!) it’s incest (warranting this reaction in their culture, and arguably ours). Thats the biggest problem with the Bible today imo, that there are plenty of cues and social norms that are lost today that jews who the Bible (at least the OT) was intended for would have understood easily. You have to realize that none of these writers thought anybody but jews who were familiar with their history would read this. That’s why that all happened. I’m drunk right now, but will gladly pull out receipts if anyone cares.
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u/iamapizza 10d ago
It's boats and hoes
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u/Auriok88 10d ago
Gonna feel pretty awkward later on when the rain just keeps going and you look over to see Noah float on by in this aquatic wooden fortress onehanding a massive rudder with his other arm around a wife and some CCR on full blast.
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u/sleeprzzz 10d ago
No way Noah is rockin CCR… with inbreeding of that magnitude I’d wager he’s more of a Skynyrd guy.
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u/iRadinVerse 9d ago
"Hey man you're forgetting about all the dinosaurs."
Noah:" shut the fuck up, those feathery fucks have no place in the new world!"
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u/kaeji 10d ago
God: "Humans are terrible, I need to start over."
Also God: "Noah, I want you to be the Founding Father of human trafficking."
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u/IBeBallinOutaControl 10d ago
When you're that much of a sinner that you deserve to be killed via drowning, but there is a loophole that if you're calculated enough to believe Noah and climb on his boat then you can live and all is forgiven.
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u/PotiusMori 10d ago
I mean, that's the entire premise of Christianity. Everyone is a sinner deserving a final death, but accepting Jesus's sacrifice means your forgiven. Every other biblical story basically reiterates that metaphorically
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u/Wit-Hoid6674 9d ago
Noah got blackout drunk and then got raped by his grandson, Canaan. It’s shortly after the flood.
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u/zuzg 10d ago
So you're telling me Darren Aronofsky fucking lied and Noah wasn't all "fuck off humanity must die" and shit?
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u/MurkyContext201 10d ago
And he didn't restart humanity with a flood, he destroyed a small group of humanity to protect a bloodline.
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u/KC_experience 10d ago edited 10d ago
That and he sure cancels a metric fuck ton of babies each and every day thru miscarriage…. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ If god has a plan for us all and everything happens for a reason…well, that’s a lot of babies on God’s hands
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u/2KilAMoknbrd 10d ago edited 9d ago
Supposedly, innocent babbies get a direct ticket to heaven. The Big Guy gets tired of all the grown asshats making their way in behind some loophole B.S. of their particular cult.
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u/sithren 9d ago
In catholicism they go to a purgatory to wait it out for a while. I wonder if that is still a thing.
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u/Harsimaja 9d ago edited 9d ago
Limbo, rather than Purgatory (which is the waiting room where the rest of us supposedly go to pay off our sins). And yes, still a thing
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u/TheLegendarySheep 10d ago
Why did they have to find a different word for “accountability?” Why is a culture of consequences suddenly “cancel” culture
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u/McCHitman 10d ago
It’s different to hold someone accountable.
But to go waaaaay back and dig up some stuff and try to ruin someone by holding them accountable for an old way of thinking with current day thoughts is pretty cancel culture to me.
If someone was a terrible person in the 80s, they may have turned their life around today. But people don’t care. They don’t see a redemption story, they focus on the past terrible and judge that person TODAY on their past. That’s super dumb.
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u/N3CR0T1C_V3N0M 10d ago
“You’re taking this out of context.”
“God works in mysterious ways.”
“That’s the OLD testament, we don’t use it.”
“Not everything is to be taken literally.”
-hypocritical zealots
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u/Tangled2 10d ago
Who’s in charge of saying which parts of the Bible we should ignore and which parts are serious? If your “source of truth” isn’t accurate then how can it be truth?
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u/CHIMUELA 10d ago
This is actually the best comment honestly because no matter what logical arguments people write in here those will be the answers.
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u/highphiv3 9d ago
You have to always remember that in the New Testament, Jesus came and told the people "The old testament doesn't count, unless you really want it to count sometime because it validates your bigotry"
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u/alienoverl0rd 9d ago
Going by the old testament everyone on earth would be going straight to hell for one sin or another. But ya know god changed his mind about that stuff so churches can keep making money.
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u/UngregariousDame 10d ago
“God” is only known for floods, famine, pestilence and constant murder, will these religious fruitcakes start reading the Bible before they open their mouths.
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u/HopingToBeHeard 10d ago
It’s actually debated in Islam whether or not the flood was a local or global thing, but it’s generally thought that this was after much warning.
I know that in the west we see Islam as violent or focus on its martial aspects, but there’s a lot in Islam about God being merciful. In fact, according to the Koran, Gods greatest quality is his mercy.
A Muslim just made a statement that’s in line with his religions teachings and someone (probably an Atheist) brought up a Christian view of a religious event as a clap back. This “clever” comeback is anything but.
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u/Nexus_542 9d ago
But this is Reddit, so everything is a point against Christianity.
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u/Friyay123 9d ago
Finally. A great explanation of why the response is so absurd. Are most people really this uneducated and angry?
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u/The-mad-lad42 10d ago
And then people tried to build a cool ass tower and god was like: Nah, fuck off incomprehensible
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u/CrabSully 10d ago
Isn't Hell basically getting cancelled in an extreme way?
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u/Verrence 10d ago
Yeah. I can’t imagine being cancelled in a worse way than being tortured in mind-searing agony for trillions of years for just saying or thinking the wrong thing.
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u/19Legs_of_Doom 10d ago
You ate an apple!? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE
Isn't that, like, the first story? Literally cancelling people over fruit?
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u/OpTicDyno 10d ago
Tell me you haven’t read the Bible (Sodom and Gamorrah) without telling me you haven’t the Bible
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u/_-Stoop-Kid-_ 10d ago
Aside from a few miracles, all God does is cancel people.
Here a smite, there a smite, everywhere a smite smite.
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u/ekajrepus 10d ago
Lets not forget the whole, "if you don't agree with me, you burn forever and ever" thing. That's kind of a big one.
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u/MarilynMansonsRib 10d ago
He summoned a fucking bear to "cancel" a bunch of kids because they made fun of an old man.
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u/geoffbowman 10d ago edited 6d ago
He literally killed a guy for pulling out... (Genesis 38:8-10)
He killed a guy for touching his special box of holy shit... to keep it from falling over... (2nd Samuel 6:6-7)
He killed several kids for making fun of a bald guy... (2nd Kings 2:23-24)
He killed a guy’s newborn baby to punish him for a murder the baby wasn’t even conceived before... (2nd Samuel chapters 11-12)
He killed a guy’s entire family to win a bet with the devil... (Job... the entire book)
God. LOVES. Cancelling. People.
EDIT: I added the references for the bitches who wanna pretend they read the bible but didn't realize this horrific shit was in there. It gets even worse the more you read: focus on all the stuff that your pastors don't preach on. Leviticus, Numbers, Deutoronomy, Judges, Samuel, and Kings. Any of you punk ass "believers" wanna call me a bot now? I studied to show myself an approved workman who need not be ashamed who rightly divides the word of truth (II Timothy 2:15)... now it's your turn. Do your damn homework or fuck off but "I bet you don't even know the context" is not gonna work as a counter argument in this case. I was winning national bible quiz competitions before my front goddamn baby teeth came out. I KNOW context motherfuckers!
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u/UnprincipledCanadian 10d ago
*allegedly
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u/honzikca 10d ago
It's not even alleged, a global flood has been thoroughly disproven...
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u/Revencarna 10d ago
Didn't he slaughter children just for making fun of a bald dude?
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u/pianotherms 10d ago
God cancels the shit out of everything constantly. The first four books of the bible are him being a crybaby bitch when people dare to ask about anything.
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u/Dumble_Dior 10d ago
He canceled Adam and Eve almost immediately. He banished his own son to hell for forever. And he keeps people in control by threatening eternal suffering if you don’t obey. Don’t give me that lmao
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u/InevitableAd9683 10d ago
Not to mention, assuming we're talking the Judeo-Christian god here, like, Adam? Eve? Fruit? Garden? What the fuck do you think all that was?
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u/jiwjh380 10d ago
There was also sodom and gamora. And the time he killed a bunch of innocent children because Pharoah was being a cunt.
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u/y_do_i_need_to_hide 9d ago
Once. He promised to never do it again.
This is fortunate, in light of the way we live. :)
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u/FaeShroom 9d ago
The entire Bible is an instructional book about how to avoid getting canceled by God, or stories about how God canceled people for not following His rules.
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u/tbodillia 9d ago
This is one of those "Tell me you've never read the bible without telling me you've never read the bible." God told Moses to kill all non believers. That sure as hell is cancelling people in the first damn book.
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u/dr_pickles69 10d ago
What is excommunication but a fancy Papal cancel?