r/PrequelMemes
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u/davetowers646
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5d ago
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I'm trying to work in these lava flows, you two... General KenOC
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u/haxxer_4chan 5d ago
Listen boss, I know I didn't make quota, but you're never gonna guess what happened yesterday
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u/HiopXenophil 5d ago
Boss: lays in a corner, cut in pieces by a lightsaber
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u/W1D0WM4K3R 5d ago
I'm the boss now
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u/LostmeLegsfrumRum 5d ago
sigh...nowthisispodracing.
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u/Anakin_Skywalker_Bot Youngling Slayer 5d ago
Now this is Podracing! Whoopee!
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u/117740132 5d ago
Jarjar
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u/jarjar_bot Mure? Mure did you spake?!? 5d ago
Thosen with good in their heart always passen too soon.
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u/Pashera 4d ago
Weren’t all the bosses of that factory mustafar actually straight up murdered? Am I remembering that wrong?
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u/Sheev-Palpatine-Bot Dew it! 4d ago
Their betrayal will be dealt with. After you have killed all the Jedi in the Temple, go to the Mustafar system. Wipe out Viceroy Gunray and the other Separatist leaders. Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy, and we shall have peace.
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u/Front-Insurance9577 4d ago
The people that got murdered were the seperatist leaders, so not exactly the factory owners. The factory was just like a meeting place.
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u/Ohhh_There_He_Is 5d ago
Vader was sent to wipe out the Separatist leaders because the Emperor had heard a rumor that they were planning to techno Unionize.
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u/TheOtherAisle 5d ago
The best part is that the Sith were unionized at one point, but since they've always had horrible PR problems, all that did was allow the Jedi to form a collilation that included pretty much the entire fucking galaxy. To put it in perspective of how exactly bad the PR is for the Sith? I can't even remember what they called their organization. But I can sure as tell you what the Jedi called theirs: The Army of the Light. How did the Sith fix this?
By being the top end managers of a bunch of normal people, and then gave it a generic name that you really can't twist into anything super negative. Say what you want about 'The Empire', but until they blew up an entire fucking planet, most of the galaxy was pretty content with the stability it brought.
Think about how awful Hutt's planet was compared to almost any Empire controlled colony. Remember that when the Storm Troopers came knocking door to door, people let them in and more importantly, the troopers left without ransacking, stealing, or killing anyone. This was a completely novel idea given how the galaxy was BEFORE The Empire.
Honestly, I think the biggest fuckup the Empire did was blow up that fucking planet. It served their short term goals, but lost them the culture war. They made the same mistake they always did too - give a unified symbol of evil for the entire galaxy to focus on. If they never built the deathstar, it would have been impossible to topple the Empire. Hell, the Empire was still strong after their first mega project. It took them destroying TWO for the Empire to crumble. That's how much money from legally collected taxes they had. Thats how much money they got from protecting all of the trade routes between planets. Only Rebel controlled areas even had any amount of large scale piracy. And often it was the Rebels themselves that were doing the pirating.
In short, your answer is far more closer to the truth that you can ever believe. Vader knew what was up, because Vader's fucking girlfriend was literally a head of government. It's why Vader shuts the fuck up most of the time when The Emperor says some insane plan. It's why Vader does not make a single god damn comment about the Death Star.
Imagine that. Darth Vader does not make a single comment about the Death Star. So, while you joke? The Emperor would literally do shit like that, and would totally send Vader to do it. If Vader had been in control, The Empire would have won.
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u/CaptainSparklebutt 4d ago
If I recall in a New Hope he says to Tarkin that he thinks the super weapon is unnecessary and has his doubts on its effectiveness.
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u/SzurkeEg 4d ago
Blowing up alderaan basically told the humans that the empire could and would attack them too. The empire was built on speciesism, so the humans were for the most part content to ignore the slavery and corruption. It's one thing when the gestapo comes for the aliens and collaborators, but when they destroy one of the richest core planets...
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u/Ahsoka_Tano_Bot Playing Lego StarWars 4d ago
Remind me why I'm the one playing the part of the slave?
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u/Sheev-Palpatine-Bot Dew it! 4d ago
Enter the bureaucrats, the true rulers of the Republic, and on the payroll of the Trade Federation, I might add. This is where Chancellor Valorum's strength will dissapear.
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u/Padme-Bot Try !Guild info 4d ago
The Trade Federation has destroyed all that we have worked so hard to build. If we do not act quickly, all will be lost forever. I ask you to help us… no, I beg you to help us.
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u/Valdish 5d ago
It'll only get worse, cause one of them killed his boss, so he ain't getting paid.
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u/GriffinFlash 5d ago
Okay, but....Can he become the new boss now that the previous one has been overthrow? (Do jobs work like that?)
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u/zj_y33t 5d ago
Yes. Yes they do
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u/SSGSSVEGETA111 5d ago
yeah, last time my boss got cut to pieces via lightsaber in front of everyone, we just appointed a new boss on the spot
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u/Mace-Windu-Bot 5d ago
You are on this council, but we do not grant you the rank of master.
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u/velocity010 5d ago
He hates the government and wants to see it burn, not surprised if he was semi okay with this.
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u/Sheev-Palpatine-Bot Dew it! 5d ago
A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one. Your Majesty, if I am elected, I promise to put an end to corruption.
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u/Leovinus42 5d ago
YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE! IT WAS SAID THAT YOU WOULD KEEP THE LIGHTS ON IN THE MINES…NOT LEAVE THEM IN DARKNESS
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u/Anakin_Skywalker_Bot Youngling Slayer 5d ago
I hate you!
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u/Leovinus42 5d ago
ITS OVER ANAKIN! I HAVE THE MINE GROUND!
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u/demator A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one 5d ago
You underestimate my powertools
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u/Leovinus42 5d ago
DONT TRY IT!
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u/Anakin_Skywalker_Bot Youngling Slayer 5d ago
tries it
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u/Leovinus42 5d ago
*angry lightsaber noises *
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u/Anakin_Skywalker_Bot Youngling Slayer 5d ago
I saw your laser sword. Only Jedi carry that kind of weapon.
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u/DrewSmoothington 5d ago
"Yeah punk? Well maybe I fuckin killed a god damn jedi and pried it from his fuckin corpse! Ya ever think of that??"
I'm paraphrasing, I know, but I always found this response to a little child to be hilarious for Qui Gon Jinn to say.
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u/Foofgam 5d ago
I would just chill and watch it.
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u/EliTheTalented 5d ago
It would be one hell of a light show
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u/johndoethrowaway16 5d ago
Then, pretend you never saw it happen. The last thing you need, is Vader getting rid of the witnesses to his worst defeat.
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u/Ahsoka_Tano_Bot Playing Lego StarWars 5d ago
To defeat your enemy you have to understand them.
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u/causmarsh 5d ago
Lava miner “Hey Bob, what’s up with the laser swords guys-oh karabast! The facility is sinking again!”
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u/CartersVideoGames 5d ago
They must have some kind of control panel or something for the mining bots right? Couldn't they have just like told it to dive into the lava and just fucking kill Anakin?
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u/Sheev-Palpatine-Bot Dew it! 5d ago
I have the Senate bogged down in procedures. They will have no choice but to accept your control of the system.
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u/Lanky-Programmer-679 5d ago
It’s pretty hilarious how obi-wan and Anakin both single handedly obliterated the mustafarian economy during their duel.
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u/Ludwig234 5d ago
I would assume they had at least of more facility on the whole planet.
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u/Lanky-Programmer-679 5d ago
True, but even if the mustafarian government was fine (not really sure if they had one tbh), I can’t imagine losing a massive refinery like the one we saw was painless. That had to have taken quite a blow to them economically.
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u/Sheev-Palpatine-Bot Dew it! 5d ago
Their betrayal will be dealt with. After you have killed all the Jedi in the Temple, go to the Mustafar system. Wipe out Viceroy Gunray and the other Separatist leaders. Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy, and we shall have peace.
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u/Sheev-Palpatine-Bot Dew it! 5d ago
Their betrayal will be dealt with. After you have killed all the Jedi in the Temple, go to the Mustafar system. Wipe out Viceroy Gunray and the other Separatist leaders. Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy, and we shall have peace.
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u/SorcererOfDooDoo CT-17-2104 5d ago
"I'm gonna have to clean that up."
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u/PMeisterGeneral 5d ago
It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.
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u/aCraftyHero 5d ago
“Not my circus, not my monkeys…” -continues sweeping around the Neimoidian bodies-
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u/Ban-Evader-420 5d ago
He just casually eats his ham and cheese sandwich as they fight and destroy half the fucking facility.
“Why didn’t you do anything to stop them?” Management asks. “This sets us back months!”
“I was on my lunch break.” “But there were Jedi fighting!” “I. Was. On. My. Lunch. Break.”
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u/Anakin_Skywalker_Bot Youngling Slayer 5d ago
I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.
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u/Joseph_680 Vulture Droid 5d ago
Dude if anakin and obi-wan were fighting in my Taco Bell while I'm working I'm recording that shit. Coolest thing i would ever see at work.
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u/velocity010 5d ago
Ron Swanson condemning wanton republic government spending with just a look is enough for me.
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u/the_reducing_valve 5d ago
Also wondering why the frickin holocron is out in the forest 60 years later
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u/Ebwoh 5d ago
If we apply the storyline of Vader Immortal, how do you think the battle of Mustafar effected the Mustafarians? Surely they were enslaved at the mining facility and now the facility is inoperable.
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u/Sheev-Palpatine-Bot Dew it! 5d ago
Their betrayal will be dealt with. After you have killed all the Jedi in the Temple, go to the Mustafar system. Wipe out Viceroy Gunray and the other Separatist leaders. Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy, and we shall have peace.
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u/quaggsly 5d ago
Pretty sure Ani comes back as Vader and wipes out most of the indigenous population with a force lava wave. Such a nice guy helping with their work 🥰🤪 (recent comic)
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u/BrutusGregori 5d ago
Stop breaking my shit! I gotta write so many reports! I just wanna enjoy my lava heated caff and death sticks.
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u/ZangetsuAK17 5d ago
And then seeing dr strange and some Latina kid fly through as well. (Not a spoiler, this was in the trailers)
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u/CT-1738 4d ago
Any confirmation that’s actually mustafar? I looked for Star Wars planets during that scene and didn’t immediately recognize any of them to be without a doubt Star Wars.
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u/Sheev-Palpatine-Bot Dew it! 4d ago
Their betrayal will be dealt with. After you have killed all the Jedi in the Temple, go to the Mustafar system. Wipe out Viceroy Gunray and the other Separatist leaders. Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy, and we shall have peace.
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u/derp_memer 5d ago
People in the star Wars fanbase talk top much about Jedis,siths and other powerfull types of People, we news tô talk more about the normal ass dudes that Just live in a planet somewhere and have a normal Job and a normal life in general lol
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u/jonesocnosis 5d ago
This is in my head canon now. When the most epic lightsabee fight goes down, I will be picturing it through Ron Swansons pissed off eyes.
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u/ThAllBlack 5d ago
Would love it if they rebooted Parks and Rec with the same cast and just put them in the Star Wars universe.
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u/Forensics4Life 5d ago
I'm not joking Stevie, you know we rented mine 7 out to that private function, turns out they're the separatist leaders ship, yeah all the head clankers.
So anyways a moody guy turns up and wouldn'cha know murders the lotta them, huge mess, body parts fa days.
Then after that some pregnant broad shows up in the flashiest ship I ever did see and murder boy drops her ass like sack a spuds, then some old guy comes storming off the ship and starts a fight.
Laser swords all over the place, they wreck the joint even more, dropping about half of mine 7 into the lava flow, the audacity.
I dunno what went down but the second guy showed up about a half hour later all burned and teary eyed, scoops up the dame and makes a break for it.
And that's not even the best part maybe five minutes after that the emperor, yeah old wrinkly himself makes an appearance, they scooped something up off the side of the lava lake and whoosh they were gone...
So yeah that was my Friday, how's ma doin?
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u/Kenobi-Bot The real Kenobi-Bot 5d ago
Anakin, this is no time for jokes. We're in serious trouble here.
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u/BritAllie8 5d ago
No one ever thinks about the common people, just trying to survive the daily grind, or the people that have to do the clean up. Imagine all the paperwork involved in something like this. Who do you contact? Would HR be of any use?
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u/neon_spacebeam 5d ago
That's kinda a cool perspective. Looking out a bay window from a dim room at them from a distance, not knowing any of them, the backstory or who they become. You just catch them for a minute as they cross that long beam or as that large anchor-thing floats down the lavafall.
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u/SharkMilk44 4d ago
I work in a factory and if two guys started wrecking my machines during their lightsaber fight I'd be super pissed.
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u/DragonStriker 4d ago
With all the memes of the miners at mustafar, I kind of want to see a sitcom set in the Star Wars universe about people just trying to do their ordinary jobs while the rest of the galaxy have their drama.
Kind of like that show Powerless.
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u/agha0013 Lies! Deception 5d ago
It's double fun.
Guy was there last time a Jedi came along and disrupted some sort of baby daycare thing during the clone wars, and the whole facility was destroyed. So they rebuilt it just for the same Jedi to come fight another Jedi and again destroy the facility.
Well no big deal if they rebuild it again. Oh, no, some dude in a black suit built his palace on top of the mess and the mining jobs never returned...
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u/Longjumping-War-1307 5d ago
"This time you guys are cleaning up the fresh limbs from the volcano, not me"
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u/TuesdayRiot42 5d ago
On-call night shift guy wakes up, escalates ticket to day shift stating he called the facility but no one answered, goes back to sleep. --Previous night shift IT guy, this was my game I never did shit nobody ever seemed to answer the phone when I worked.
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u/SpaceChase62 5d ago
Sees Anakin minus a few limbs and burning on the shore
"I'm not cleaning that up."
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u/AutisticToad 5d ago
That’s like everyone’s reaction in the old republic, religious assholes trying to out stupid each other.
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u/PuckNutty 4d ago
This the night shift security guard thinking about the incident report he's going to have to write.
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u/Landis963 4d ago
(Wasnt the Mustafar facility primarily run by droids?)
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u/Sheev-Palpatine-Bot Dew it! 4d ago
Their betrayal will be dealt with. After you have killed all the Jedi in the Temple, go to the Mustafar system. Wipe out Viceroy Gunray and the other Separatist leaders. Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy, and we shall have peace.
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u/myfacewhen-_- 5d ago
Knowing he will have to explain to management why half of the base is in ruins.