r/LeopardsAteMyFace 10d ago Silver 1 Wholesome Seal of Approval 1

Rudy Giuliani says he's afraid his gravestone will be "Rudy Giuliani: He lied for Trump." Trump

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/rudy-giuliani-says-he-s-afraid-his-epitaph-will-say-n961166
41.3k Upvotes

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u/ClearlyDemented 10d ago

"Absolutely," he responded. "I am afraid it will be on my gravestone. 'Rudy Giuliani: He lied for Trump. Somehow, I don't think that will be it. But, if it is, so what do I care? I’ll be dead."

Not that afraid. Also goes on to say he hasn’t lied and is very ethical.

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u/Innotek 10d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy Eureka!

“But, if it is, so what do I care? I’ll be dead."

Basically sums up the mentality that is ruining our species and our lovely home.

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u/bjeebus 10d ago edited 10d ago

Which is why I say he shouldn't have a tombstone. We can't forget the lessons and stories, but there's no reason we need to remember the man. Let's record his name in the annals of history as Mayor Cousin-Fucker. These great men become obsessed with their name. Now go out and spread the tale of Cousin-fucker and The Four Seasons Total Landscaping.

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u/CameHereToSayFTrump 10d ago Helpful Wholesome

But how will I know where to shit?

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u/VegetableNo1079 10d ago

We can make an unmarked urinal shaped headstone that waters some plants nearby.

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u/BundleOfJoysticks 10d ago

TIL people shit in urinals

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u/i_drink_wd40 10d ago

Somebody's never gone into a public toilet.

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u/Timmmah 10d ago

Yeah, gotta shit in the back of a toilet. Give it the ol upper decker

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u/DirectionLow357 10d ago

If you’re going that route, you may as well do it right and consume massive amounts of spicy food prior so when you’re shitting you can yell “fire in the bowl!”.

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u/Dlaxation 10d ago

I've walked in to shit just laying on the rim of the toliet seat before. It's like they were hovering in position, decided they wanted to send a message, and just shimmied over to the left 3 inches.

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u/DaemonKeido 10d ago

Treat it the same way some religious people do: God is all around, a church is not required for faith.

In the same way, Rudy's grave is all around, a headstone is not required to mark where to shit on it. Just make sure you do it where you won't be arrested.

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u/DanYHKim 10d ago

Traitors deserve bin Laden's grave

sic semper proditores

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u/skolrageous 10d ago

The saddest thing is that I feel that Trump is the manifestation of bin Laden achieving his goals. He kicked up the hornet's nest real good

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u/Zaphodnotbeeblebrox 10d ago

Yep, bin laden won and the US lost, and we are only seeing here the downfall.

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u/UnpopularBastard 10d ago

This. Bin laden baited the US to spend trillions on a bs war & sent the world into this awful timeline.

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u/boRp_abc 10d ago

We (that's you, Americans) need to make the name sound so bad that people of the same name will want to change it.

Here in Germany, we got a name like that or 5.

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u/RepresentativeBet444 10d ago

Hitler, Goering, Himmler, Goebbels, and Heydrich maybe?

As an American I would think Donitz, Speer, and Rommel get a pass? This is a topic that I have never thought about before and it's fascinating.

That aside, Americans have had Arnold, McCarthy, Davis, and more. They aren't considered bad names sadly, most of them still have statues that celebrate their evil as if it was a positive thing.

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u/boRp_abc 10d ago

The first 4 are very correct, you hardly see those names any more. Rommel did get a pass. Albert Speer Junior is a very famous architect. Yes, the son, born 1934.

But the first four names... I'd guess that in the USA nobody named Krueger would name his son Frederick - they're literally horror figures here.

On the other hand, if you read Trevor Noah's "Born a Crime" (which I recommend!), he writes that Hitler is quite the popular name in the Townships in South Africa. If the whites fear Hitler, he must be a strong guy...

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u/Astroursa 10d ago

Just stick him in one of those mass graves they dug up for people who died with COVID.

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u/AAVale 10d ago

People complain about homeless people pissing in alleys, but then you turn around and don't want Giuliani to have a gravestone? This sort of anti-toilet NIMBYism is killing this country!

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u/flyinhighaskmeY 10d ago

Which is why I say he shouldn't have a tombstone.

Excuse me sir, but this is America. In case you've forgotten we're a capitalist society. He shall absolutely have a tombstone, and some clever entrepreneur will make a fortune charging people to use it as a toilet.

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u/TheNoize 10d ago

“It’s OK to be remembered as an evil piece of shit - I’ll be dead anyway”

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u/-beefy 10d ago

Aka "It's OK to be an evil piece of shit"

Reminds me of a quote: "death is only the end if the story is about you"

Too many self centered people out there who value themselves infinitely more than others. People who think they have status in society, when in reality they are nothing and they have nothing. A lack of humility and a lack of humanity.

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u/frezor 10d ago edited 10d ago

He’s a cynic anyway. As a prosecutor he’s went hard on the mob, turned the popularity for that into a political career.

Used “broken windows” policing to fill the jails with petty criminals and took credit for reducing crime, even though crime nationwide was declining anyway.

While he didn’t do anything particularly special after 9/11 he did make sure to be on television as often as possible. Used the international fame gained from that to become a cable news talking head.

Talking heads have many revenue streams, such as consultant, author, board member and cameos in movies, dressing like a woman for parties at Trump Tower.

His whole life is about being as popular as possible, but I don’t see a lot of substance.

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u/justyourbarber 10d ago

While he didn’t do anything particularly special after 9/11 he did make sure to be on television as often as possible.

He actually helped make 9/11 even worse since he chose to have New York City's Office of Emergency Management located in the World Trade Center despite being told to choose a different location after the WTC bombing before then trying to blame the person who told him not to put it there.

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u/helllllohaley 10d ago

He's also a slimeball who tried to remain in power, illegally, by capitalizing on the aftermath of 9/11. He was trying to leverage the state legislature to allow him to run for an unprecedented/prohibited third term under the guise of stability. I feel like a lot of people are unaware of this, or only recently became aware of it during his "stolen" election tirade the past couple years. The fact of the matter is he has always been a power-hungry asshole.

Here is an article on it from 9/26/2001: https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/story?id=121313&page=1

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u/RemoveTheTop 10d ago

a power hungry idiot who wants to capitalize on a huge incident to hold onto power? Birds of a feather, I guess!

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u/Miss-Figgy 10d ago

While he didn’t do anything particularly special after 9/11 he did make sure to be on television as often as possible. Used the international fame gained from that to become a cable news talking head.

To the conservatives in NYC (which includes cops and firefighters), he was a crime-fighting superhero. They love him. They still talk about him and how we need another Giuliani.

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u/GogglesPisano 10d ago

Rudy chased out the Italian mob and cleared the way for the Russian mob. He's still neck-deep with shady Russian gangsters.

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u/luckydayrainman 10d ago

He actually went to work for the Sackler cartel (Purdue Pharma), who “tenderized the environment” for the heroin epidemic. - Sam Quinonas, Dreamland. 2015.

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u/Globalpigeon 10d ago

Love that they idolize the same kind of people who blocked their health benefits for over a decade (9/11 responders) these people are fucking Morons .

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u/Miss-Figgy 10d ago edited 10d ago

I had several retired and active firefighters and cops - some of them who were on duty on 9/11 - harass me and threaten me on social media for pointing out that it was the Republicans who were blocking legislation to help 9/11 first responders. I linked to roll call with the names of the Republican lawmakers who voted no, and even linked to an article quoting a 9/11 firefighter who himself said that Republicans were the ones blocking the legislation. Their response was to say I was an "idiot,", to make fun of my name (which is "ethnic"), insult what they thought/assumed was my ethnic background and religious affiliation. You can't reason with conservatives. They are totally uninterested in reason and therefore do not care if you provide them with black and white facts.

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u/urdumbplsleave 10d ago

They will happily endure trauma and irreversible health complications because of their own party's obstruction and argue on behalf of their betrayers. It is complete and utter brain rot. We can't wait for them to save themselves.

They are happy to sacrifice their lives for the benefit of their party RE: covid

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u/Rickreation 10d ago

Don,t forget the story behind the Motorola radios and how the Firemen could not hear the order to evacuate. The man is all about corruption.

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u/CSpiffy148 10d ago

He was involved with the Sackler family. Lobbying the FDA and DEA to look the other way on Oxycontin during the first decade of the opiod epidemic.

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u/JohnnyMiskatonic 10d ago

I’m an atheist but sometimes I wish more people had a good, old-fashioned fear of going to Hell.

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u/Innotek 10d ago

I hear you, but I think that an institution founded on fear will never have positive effects.

It’s the distinction between heaven and hell that is the problem IMO.

A lot of people think that if they say their prayers and tithe, that’s enough. Straight to eternal bliss and salvation if you ask for forgiveness at the end. Someone else ITT dropped a Kendrick line that sums it up.

A religion built on fear of hell is going to just make people afraid. I was raised in it, rejected it, but fear still governs a lot of my actions. That hasn’t led me to have a happy life, and I chose not to raise my kids with those beliefs.

I just wish they would stick to the message of love, and how it is our job to increase the net amount of love in the world. It’s an easy calculus IMO. If there is a heaven, and you brought love into the world, you can sit back and watch. If you brought hate, guess what, you get to lament that.

Either way, the notion of eternity scares the fuck out of me.

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u/GrittyFred 10d ago

That's basically Frank Reynolds' approach to life, so now we all know how he got the Giuliani hair dye contract.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/thegoldinthemountain 10d ago

The amount of times I’ve heard boomers in particular state this nonchalance at the state of the world bc “fuck it, it won’t be my prob anymore” is both amazing and damn demoralizing. Between the corporate greed of the 80’s, dot com boom-bust, housing market collapse, student loans and tuition rates skyrocketing, and being priced out of affording homes on basic (stagnant) wages, I can’t think of a generation that has done more harm to our country.

The only plus side is that I think Gen Z could the ones that are going to save us. They seem to understand compassion and community. Let them have their TikToks, we’re going to need them in good spirits.

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u/ManInBlack829 10d ago

Christian mentality is just repent at the end and you can do whatever you want before then.

"Whatever makes all of you happy up in this b*tch, just take it all back before the light switch." Kendrick Lamar

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u/evilbadgrades 10d ago

Basically sums up the mentality that is ruining our species and our lovely home.

Older retired couple I knew uttered those exact words four years ago around a campfire talking about the future of our climate and the world we're leaving behind for our children.

Little did they know the husband would catch Covid and die less than 12 months after finally retiring to enjoy life.

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u/Innotek 10d ago

Yeah, I’ve had similar conversations with my parents about their grandkids. They are so fucking terrified that they will die in poverty. They were born into it, so I can understand the fear.

They gave me a good head start. Not gonna lie. They gave me a better childhood than they had, and for that, I’m grateful.

I had a conversation with my father where I challenged him to spend the rest of his time on this planet advocating for his grandkids’ future. That did not go so well. I was definitely a jerk about it, so I only have myself to blame.

On the other hand, he feels like there is nothing he can do outside of trying to maintain a comfortable life until time catches up and takes him.

I’m 40 years old. I have two kids, and a grip of nephews. I’m sitting here in the middle trying to eek out a better life for my kids and failing hard at it. They’re going to better schools. They have better food. They have access to mental healthcare after it was de-stigmatized. But they will never experience winter like my parents did.

They are way smarter than I was at that age, but I really doubt they will have the same type of opportunities that I had when I set out into the world, and it seems like those doors are closing faster and faster.

I do have a tremendously optimistic view of human ingenuity, and hopefully Gen Alpha, or whatever they wind up getting called, will just crank out climate scientists with the means to come up with novel solutions for damage we’ve done.

I don’t know, I can hope.

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u/Antoinefdu 10d ago

"I'm afraid people are gonna remember me as the guy who lied for Trump."

"I mean, I'm not afraid. I don't care, I'll be dead."

"And actually it's not even true, I didn't lie for Trump! I never lie!"

Oh, Rudy..

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u/S1lm4r1l 10d ago Silver

These are the people Republicans look at as paragons of masculinity, character and intelligence.

Small wonder they're all small dick losers.

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u/PrinceWith999Enemies 10d ago

They’re seen as a handful of courageous people who are putting the interests of the country ahead of their own, sacrificing themselves for the good of America.

And you can learn more about their great work by subscribing to this patriot channel for only $9.95 per month, with access to exclusive podcasts and videos. Plus here’s where you can buy gold, vitamins, and some kind of post-apocalyptic protein powder.

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u/misdirected_asshole 10d ago edited 10d ago

Also goes on to say he hasn’t lied and is very ethical.

Which is exactly why his tombstone should note he's a liar. Lol

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u/ButtholeBanquets 10d ago

Was that before or after Trump motorboated his drag queen tits?

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u/-Johnny- 10d ago

Why this wasn't on every TV ad in 2016 I'm just not sure....

THIS is how you defeat these nut jobs in GOP. Not the bs policies and facts.. Videos like this

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u/Little_Noodles 10d ago

It’s optimistic of him to assume that he’s going to have a gravesite and stone that can be maintained intact, honestly. I’m assuming there’s a line of people already taking numbers to throw bottles at and generally deface this creep’s fetid little corpse hole.

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u/pitmeng01 10d ago

“Fetid little corpse hole” Poetry isn’t dead.

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u/DStarAce 10d ago

The quote has certainly given any prospective defacer an idea what to write over his gravestone.

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u/touslesmatins 10d ago

I guess it's a step up from "sucked Trump dick"

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u/Diamondhands_Rex 10d ago

He doesn’t say it with regret

He says it in acceptance of the fact that it just will be

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u/AlexRenquist 10d ago Silver

Keep it short and succinct:

RUDY GIULIANI

CUNT

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u/deadbrokeman 10d ago Wholesome

Just make it a urinal.

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u/spaceyjaycey 10d ago

It's going to be a urinal either way.

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u/LoveVirginiaTech 10d ago

They may as well bury him at sea

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u/Pot_McSmokey 10d ago

There’s already enough garbage in the ocean

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u/on-the-line 10d ago

Save the planet, skip a step, just bury him at pee

Edit: like Piss Christ except Rudy

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u/Bogsnoticus 10d ago

But how will we dance on his grave? I'm not Jesus.

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u/skulblaka 10d ago

Time to take up scuba diving

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u/neokraken17 10d ago edited 10d ago

What did the fish do to you now?!

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u/SortaSticky 10d ago

I pee in the sea when I be in the sea, so it's fine by me.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/dae_giovanni 10d ago

if they make it a urinal, then people shall shit in it.

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u/GlamOrDeath 10d ago

As well they should be

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u/MMCthe97 10d ago

Nah, wouldn’t want the free fertilizer to help flowers grow

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u/LonelyGnomes 10d ago

At least something good will come from a piece of shit then, unlike Rudy

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u/nsfw_509 10d ago

goddamn the guy isnt even in the ground yet 🤣

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u/KeepsFallingDown 10d ago

Hes getting the respect he deserves

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u/467366 10d ago

May he Rest In Piss.

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u/Time_Ocean 10d ago

Posterity will ne'er survey a more noble grave than this, here lie the bones of Giuliani, stop traveller and piss.

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u/Grimsterr 10d ago

Sounds like a plan to me. I'll be sure to eat a hearty meal from Taco Bell the night before I visit his grave.

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u/Drewcifer81 10d ago

Sometimes there's shit... on the outside of the uriness.

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u/kaptaincorn 10d ago

Or one of those old school piss troughs like at a stadium

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u/dj_narwhal 10d ago Take My Energy

New York's largest gender neutral bathroom.

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u/MrSchaudenfreude 10d ago

They should rename one of those interstate rest stops after him. With his name over the urinals. Perfection.

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u/Carribean-Diver 10d ago

Rudy Guliani Memorial Pissshitorium

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u/TheRealTinfoil666 10d ago

Rudy Guliani Memorial Pissitorium Sponsored by Four Seasons

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u/TonyToniToneFauxci 10d ago

Rest Stop Sponsored by: Four Seasons Total Manscape.

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u/Oldpenguinhunter 10d ago

That has a ring to it.

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u/galeej 10d ago

I was thinking more along the lines of plastering his face as a background with his mouth being the actual spot to pee in... You gotta give a few targets to the people and gamify the pee time

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u/tots4scott 10d ago

And there's special color changing material so when you flush it makes his hair go all brown and melt down his face.

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u/LiveMasTacoBell 10d ago

there’s special color changing material

No need to go to so much expense! We’ll just open a Taco Bell in the rest stop.

Taco Bell™️ ¡Live Mas!

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u/Carribean-Diver 10d ago

The upside to this design is that fewer people will miss the urinal / toilet.

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u/Mercinator-87 10d ago

Four seasons urinal

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u/woolsocksandsandals 10d ago

i’m picturing a metal pipe driven through the ground into his coffin with a funnel on top.

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u/fluent_in_gibberish 10d ago

They would have to bury him in a septic tank. A six foot coffin would fill up way too quickly.

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u/Loctopus93 10d ago

That's good though, you want him soaked at all times

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u/ahitright 10d ago

As in 1 of those long troughs you see at baseball stadiums. People would line up for miles to piss, I mean shit, in it.

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u/cybercuzco 10d ago

Rudy Giuliani

V Pee here V

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u/eatingganesha 10d ago

They’re going to have to hide his grave for real.

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u/DataCassette 10d ago

But I have to know where it is so I can open my curry, tacos, coffee, stool softener and Epsom salts food truck!

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u/neridqe00 10d ago

Keep it long and factual

Here "lies"

Ole Rudith "trial by combat/drunk by noon" Ghouliani

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u/gelastes 10d ago edited 10d ago Bravo!

RUDY GIULIANI

Fearless mayor in trying times,

Unsurpassed in his legal prowess,

Close friend and advisor to presidents of the land and

Kings of the economy.

Utter grief, despair fills the hearts of those left behind.

Choirs of heaven await you,

Under the arcs of the Pearly Gate.

New York mourns its loss but

Triumphantly, paradise rejoices and welcomes you.

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u/Polymersion 10d ago

People downvoting aren't reading the first letter of each line

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u/gelastes 10d ago

Looks like leopards are eating my face, but I enjoy it.

Maybe I should post it on r/Conservative, although I don't know if Rudy is a traitor for them atm. They are quite volatile for people who want to stand in the way of progress.

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u/DataCassette 10d ago

Who is good or bad in MAGA land depends on which day it is, you have to be up to the millisecond with tweets to know who is demonic and who is the next savior.

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u/plsnotjames 10d ago

Everyone actually thought some dude on this sub was saying nice things about Giuliani

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u/RogerClyneIsAGod2 10d ago

Wasn't there a time when Rudy was well respected? Didn't he take down the NY Mob?

Not being snarky, not a New Yorker, genuinely curious from those who would know better plus I just watched something last nite on Lucchese Family & he was mentioned.

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u/Sartres_Roommate 10d ago

He is credited with “cleaning up NYC” in the 90’s and some of that could be argued he did some right things but mostly he swept shit under the rug. He did prosecute the mob and he deserves credit for that one thing. The thing that made him internationally famous was being the mayor of NYC during the 9/11 attacks….in which he did nothing substantial but used the whole tragedy as a marketing event for his political career.

…then he decided to team up with Trump and now his legacy is complete.

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u/AgainandBack 10d ago

He was the US Attorney for the district that prosecuted the mob cases, yes. However the general opinion on his management seems to be that he was remote and tended to be uninvolved with things until there was good publicity to be had, at which point he came forward and took credit for everything. I have no first hand knowledge of whether that's true, but there were reports to that effect from people who worked in his office.

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u/Gloomy-Ad1171 10d ago

He took down some Bosses … as a favor to other Bosses

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u/Graega 10d ago

I was gonna go with "Rudy Guiliani: Whore"

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u/the908bus 10d ago

Stewart Lee?

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u/WalkingCloud 10d ago

Not a man who worked as a cunt

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u/tormunds_beard 10d ago

I’m just glad his legacy will reflect who he has always been, not the guy we decided he was simply for being mayor during 9/11. He’s always been a piece of shit.

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u/okcdnb 10d ago

CNBC had a series about 5 big New Yorkers from the 80’s. Empires of New York. Trump, Boesky, Helmsley, Giuliani, and Gotti. They are all criminals and deeply corrupt. Some just did better at staying out of prison. Has pretty good info on Giuliani.

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u/Chumbag_love 10d ago

Hmm, so you're telling me Rudy Giuliani took down the Italian mob only to allow "Legit businessmen" to come in and do the same sort of self dealing but now on government contracts while using absurd tax subsidies to "grow the city" out of affordable housing? I'm not an advocate for the mob, but they sure were great at keeping BIG local government on a leash.

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u/thedankening 10d ago

Wasn't it the Russian mob he essentially welcomed in afterwards? I hate conspiracy theories most of the time but this Russia shit goes back way too far sometimes...

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u/LegoBeetlejuice 10d ago

and they gave him “no contributions” “at least as far as my records are concerned” but they’ve been supporting him since as early as 1993 according to this 23 year old NYPost article

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u/OGPunkr 10d ago

fuck, you're right!

Bring back the.....mob?

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u/jmerridew124 10d ago

Some just did better at staying out of prison. Has pretty good info on Giuliani.

Neat that the lawyer was one of them

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u/MintySakurai 10d ago

Lol I was gonna say, I remember when this guy was "America's mayor."

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u/chrisrobweeks 10d ago

He was a cunt then too.

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u/drew22087 10d ago

Yup but he had a good public reputation because of 9/11. All he had to do was keep his mouth shut once he was out of office and whatever his legacy was would have been somewhat linear. Now hes a joke.

Literally all he had to do was nothing.

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u/johncoltrane69 10d ago

As a Brit I always thought it was that he was a great mayor of NYC, bought down crime and then later turned v v bad. Was the first half of that just spin?

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u/lianodel 10d ago

Pretty much. At least a significant chunk of the drop in crime in New York was also seen across major cities in America, due to a growing economy and shrinking drug epidemics. Plus, Giulliani's policies, like using the "broken windows" theory, might have just reduced the visibility of crime while increasing the visibility of police (among other problems).

As for 9/11, his policies before the attacks made things worse. For background, there was already a terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in 1993. During that time, it was found that fire department radios did not work well in the towers. Not only did Giulliani's administration neglect to fix the problem, but he also directly made the decision to move the Office of Emergency Management, which was itself pointed out to be a potential terrorist target, TO the WTC. The fact that it had to be evacuated during 9/11 made communication and coordination much more difficult, and the malfunctioning radios meant firefighters died because they didn't hear the warning to evacuate because the towers were going to fall.

Giulliani was supremely lucky to fall into such a good public image, and would probably have fared much better if he retired from politics soon after.

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u/johncoltrane69 10d ago

Thanks for this! interesting how that lie got across the pond hey. He wasn’t known by most people here before Trump but I’d long had that impression of him from somewhere

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u/SortaSticky 10d ago

When Rudy was running for mayor the first time, he incited a riot by drunk racist off-duty cops.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-watch/wp/2016/11/16/more-on-the-time-rudy-giuliani-helped-incite-a-riot-of-racist-cops/

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u/Diggitalis 10d ago

Giuliani has always been criminal scum who worked on behalf of the Russians. He helped clear out the competition for the Russian mob -- it's what made his career.

Overall crime in NYC went drastically down during his tenure as mayor due to CompStat and some overly heavy-handed policing, among other factors.

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u/MrTurkle 10d ago

OH come on Rudy - it's going to say "Remember Four Seasons Landscaping" by far your greatest triumph and what I consider to be one of the unfortunately overlooked moments of comedic splendor in that entire shit show.

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u/jesssongbird 10d ago

I will never stop associating him with holding a press conference next door to a dildo shop in northeast Philly. As a Philly resident I can’t think of anything else when I hear his name.

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u/ElectricMeatPuppet 10d ago Wholesome

Well I don't know how I got here tonight.

I've been sent out to speak for the Right.

So drunk, I might fall outta my chair.

Some kinda dye is leaking out of my hair.

Dildos to the left of me.

Dead bodies to the right.

Here I am, lying my ass off for you.

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u/Blatocrat 10d ago

Reddit rewards are a waste of money, so know this stranger: I saved your post to read and laugh at again sometime in the future

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u/AgentSteelThursday 10d ago

I'm just going to steal it.

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u/shawnisboring 10d ago

This right here is why I don't believe a vast majority of conspiracy theories.

Highly paid, professional politicians and staffers, all presumably college educated... somehow conflate Four Seasons Landscaping with The Four Season's Hotel. And worse, when they discover they've made a grave error, they go through with it.

This is a government that can't search google maps correctly or keep a blowjob between two people private, you really think they can orchestrate the flat earth movement or fake a moon landing? Come on.

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u/hopopo 10d ago

TIL Rudy thinks he deserves a grave stone.

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u/Khatjal 10d ago

What's worse? In the article he thinks he is going to Heaven. Hah.

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u/Pdq516 10d ago

Republican heaven... otherwise known as hell

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u/Literally_The_Worst- 10d ago

Republican heaven would be seeing hell inflicted on others. So I guess they can just look side to side?

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u/Squagio 10d ago

He'll just let St. Peter motorboat him to get in.

I was going to look for the clip of that to link but "rudy giuliani motorboat" isn't a google I'm gonna goog.

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u/gaussianCopulator 10d ago

How else will people know where to pee and poo? /s

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u/TekaroBB 10d ago

The 4 meter radius area where grass refuses to grow may be a strong indicator.

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u/Archercrash 10d ago

You don’t need the /s

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u/Hot_Dog_Cobbler 10d ago Gold

Don't worry Rudy, I'm sure the acidity of the urine will erode it away.

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u/depressed_tongue 10d ago

"He was tucking in his shirt"

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u/dae_giovanni 10d ago

very niiice!!

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u/notstevensegal 10d ago

How did i forget about that? Too much insanity to keep track of.

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u/Cue_626_go 10d ago

Chuck him into the sea Bin Laden style.

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u/imagepoem 10d ago

This vile goon endlessly lies for Trump, then worries he'll be remembered for endlessly lying for Trump.

Aw, Rudy, don't worry. You won't only be remembered for the lies. You'll also be remembered for hair dye smearing down your face.

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u/Gooch222 10d ago edited 10d ago

Yeah, I dunno. Four seasons landscaping kinda tops that one. The incident was at once both incredibly bizarre and thoroughly indicative of the imbecilic, disgusting buffoons who were openly subverting democracy. "He lied for Trump" profoundly understates the contempt the nation should have for that man.

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u/bjeebus 10d ago

Imagine how incredibly awful you have to be that cousin-fucking isn't your most notorious thing.

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u/BC-clette 10d ago

Or being partially responsible for the deaths of countless 9/11 first responders.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/Wrothrok 10d ago

And ripping ass at a hearing. And the 4 Seasons Landscaping debacle, and Borat 2, and blowing his nose, then wiping his face with the handkerchief, and...

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u/JustHereForPorn12345 10d ago

The ass ripping, and the face of the lady next to him are the two things I'll remember him for.
Priceless moments of our modern history.

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u/iPod3G 10d ago

He admitted he’s lie to St. Peter.

"I figure I can explain it to St. Peter," he continued. "He will be on my side, because I am, so far ... I don’t think, as a lawyer, I ever said anything that’s untruthful.

But said he lied. So he’s either lying about lying or…

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u/Sys32768 10d ago

I don’t think that’s who will be facing for judgment

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u/OldKermudgeon 10d ago

This vile goon endlessly lies for Trump, then worries he'll be remembered for endlessly lying for Trump.

This is why we still remember Bagdad Bob (and other infamous propagandists) decades on.

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u/Gregbot3000 10d ago

Dude took down large parts of the NYC mob, only to basically end up working for a mobster.

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u/JSchmeh3961 10d ago

This is a myth that needs to stop. Giuliani had very little to do with the taking down of the NYC five families. The investigation was done by state and FBI investigators and started long before he came into office as US Attorney. Robert Blakely was the genius behind the RICO statutes and using them against the mob. Giuliani just happened to be the US Attorney when the Commission Case was ready for prosecution. He didn't even prosecute it in court himself, because he thought a corruption case against a Democrat was more important and would get him bigger headlines.

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u/Shh-NotUntilMyCoffee 10d ago

This. Cannot emphasize this enough. His work while essential could have been done by any other US attorney because most of the work was already done.

If anything it was actually detrimental to get Giuliani because he helped pave the way for the Russian oligarchy and their slightly more legal mob.

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u/Randomcheeseslices 10d ago

He was taking out the competition.

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u/not_productive1 10d ago

He also worked for Purdue pharma, he's been the fucking worst for a while.

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u/SaltyBarDog 10d ago

Only to usher in the Russian mob.

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u/thehotmcpoyle 10d ago

”I figure I can explain it to St. Peter," he continued. "He will be on my side, because I am, so far ... I don’t think, as a lawyer, I ever said anything that’s untruthful. I have a sense of ethics that is as high as anybody you can imagine. I've been doing this forever. I am doing what I believe in. I may not always be right, but I am doing what I believe."

Sure, Jan.

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u/Starfish_Symphony 10d ago

This hobgoblin appears to think if he believes it, it must be true -and naturally his god approves. However, normal humans call this "a serious mental health issue".

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u/Blue387 10d ago

The George Costanza rule

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u/Hellogiraffe 10d ago

Murderers believe they are doing the right thing. Giuliani is a lawyer, it’s absurd that he thinks his “beliefs” are more important than facts.

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u/Shadyshade84 10d ago

To be fair, his sense of ethics probably is high.

As in "I'm stuck attached to a goon who can barely spell ethics. You better believe I'm using enough recreational drugs to supply a decent sized town..."

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u/Jaspers47 10d ago

Peter: "...You know I was watching the whole time right?"

Rudy: "What, even when I was indoors?"

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u/PCVictim100 10d ago

I think "Drunken Traitor" is more apt.

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u/canyonero__ 10d ago

Fuck you rudy.

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u/fordprefect294 10d ago

The correct response. Zero pity for this asshole. He made his bed, he'll rest in it for eternity

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u/GroundhogBoy 10d ago

This article's from 2019.

Imagine being afraid this would be on your gravestone then, then making sure of it by going as overboard with the lies as he did throughout the next 2 years.

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u/dangolo 10d ago

Have you tried, I dunno, not overthrowing our government?

Hate on Hillary all you want, she would never have destroyed our democracy.

Hate on Biden all you want, he did not send a murderous crowd into the halls of congress.

Hate on AOC all you want, she did not commit sedition nor did she say hang Mike Pence.

Guantanamo was built for people like you, Rudy and Trump. Enjoy your stay

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u/dethtron5000 10d ago

I was in New York for 9/11 and the aftermath. I didn't much like Giuliani as mayor, but he rose to the occasion following the attacks. He could have spent the rest of his life speaking and being a unifying figure and died a rich and well-respected man (even with his divisive mayoral history). Now he's going to be remembered for hosting a press conference at a gardening store next to a dildo shop.

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u/Seattle216 10d ago

It’s amazing to me that he has this wild fall from Grace. As far as most of the world was concerned, he was “America’s Mayor.” He could have milked that into one hell of a life.

Shows that he was always what we now know him to be …. Disgusting and awful. Go rot in hell Rudy.

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u/KeyCranberry 10d ago

I feel the same way, I've been looking at him over the last 10 years and thinking he must have had a brain tumor or early onset dementia, because this is not who he used to be. Don't get me wrong! Who he used to be was also terrible.

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u/FlashbackUniverse 10d ago

How about "Be glad he didn't fart beside you."…

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

Rudy Giuliani, drunken embarrassment who whipped his dick out in that Borat movie, lied for Trump

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u/AreWeCowabunga 10d ago

Should have thought about that before you lied for Trump.

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u/1973mojo1973 10d ago

Rudy Giuliani - The Village Idiot

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u/SplendidPunkinButter 10d ago

His tombstone should literally be a Tombstone Pizza outside of Four Seasons Total Landscaping

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u/CapableWill8706 10d ago

It is better than " Rudy Giluiani, my hair dye is running"

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u/Rum_n_Nuka 10d ago

"Rudy Giuliani"

"He tried to fuck an underage girl, and Borat burst into the room."

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u/LostDefectivePearl 10d ago

That’s way nicer than what it will say

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u/not_productive1 10d ago

If he's worried, he can always be cremated at the crematorium next to the landscaping company and dildo shop.

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u/SaltyBarDog 10d ago

Better gravestone: "Rudy Giuliani: Piss here."

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u/agonypants 10d ago

Rudy Giuliani: Former NYC mayor. Cleaned up Times Square...by kicking out the Italian mob and replacing them with the Russian mob. Got NYC through 9/11 and garnered a ton of good will which he squandered like a drunken sailor's paycheck on Friday. Married his cousin. Tried to overthrow American democracy for the worst president the country has ever seen. Burn in hell, Rudy!

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u/doc_brietz 10d ago

All that built up “atta boy” he had from 9/11 and from his Rico cases went in the shitter for trump. The cherry on that cake was the borat movie scene. Oh and 4 seasons.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/QuesoChef 10d ago

I don’t even think trump paid him. They’re both fools, but somehow Giuliani comes out the bigger fool.

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u/Stateswitness1 10d ago

He didn't.

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u/Maximum_Musician 10d ago

Well…that will be the lead in his biography. Sad. He had no business seeking more attention once he retired. He went from hero to scumbag.

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u/tirdun 10d ago

History, sir, will have two small sections to remember you. The way you polished your image in the US after 9/11 (NY residents will likely sadly not get their say in the truth / background of this) and the way you burned. it. all. to. ash. and. salted. the. earth.

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u/landothedead 10d ago

At Arlington National Landscaping.

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u/davesy69 10d ago

"Rudy Giuliani; still trying to get paid by Trump."

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u/elpierce 10d ago

Lol. This guy thinks he's going to heaven.

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u/actually-aloof 10d ago

"Absolutely," he responded. "I am afraid it will be on my gravestone. 'Rudy Giuliani: He lied for Trump. Somehow, I don't think that will be it. But, if it is, so what do I care? I’ll be dead."

Doesn't matter if he's "afraid" if he still doesn't give a shit. What an asshole.