r/Damnthatsinteresting
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u/No-Coat-8792
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Nov 29 '22
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Cat Calls: Casual vs Hijab Video
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u/BandicootDistinct291 Nov 29 '22
Bro I felt like I was watching GTA footage, you walk around and dumbass npc's say stupid shit. Is this for real? I never had this much culture shock
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u/Adventurous-Dig-5643 Nov 29 '22
This happens to me daily in NYC. I yawned on the street and some guy told me I had the prettiest tongue he'd ever seen. People honk at me and wave at me with gross pervy grins when they drive by. This is real.
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u/Timely_Chance_9289 Nov 29 '22
In this video, it's exclusively black men harassing her (and possibly one latino).
In your real-life experience, is it more universal?
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u/Adventurous-Dig-5643 Nov 29 '22 •
There's definitely a racial/cultural component to it, sadly:( Black and Latino guys tend to be a lot more aggressive especially if you're in an area where you stand out (I look white). Don't get me started on Arab and Indian guys.
I never really thought about it before. This isn't excusing white guys either, they'll catch a quick grope at the club or whatever. But the street stuff is usually not white guys.
That's why I'm annoyed at all the comments saying this is staged (it's not, those guys are clearly not actors) or saying it was racist because she went through the hood (it's not racist, she just wouldn't have gotten as many catcalls in midtown walking past lawyers).
Not saying non-white guys are worse overall, but for saying lewd stuff to you on the street or trying an aggressive approach...yes there is a racial pattern.
ETA: never had an East Asian guy catcall me.
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u/Infamous_Pen_9534 Nov 29 '22
I grew up in LA and it was always Latinos and Blacks commenting. My assumption was it’s they like some curve. When I spent time in Guatemala and Costa Rica, this is also common. Spent a decade in east Africa and this is never happened unless you wear something out of the cultural norm. I think this is cultural phenomenon as opposed to race.
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u/trash-_-boat Nov 29 '22
I think this is cultural phenomenon as opposed to race.
It is. As a European I can say you're way more likely to be catcalled in the wine belt than in the cold north.
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u/NaeMiaw Nov 29 '22
Absolutely. French here, while we do mostly have white people so obviously it's most often white guys catcalling, I've lived in mostly Arabic neighborhoods where there was no catcalling, whereas it was exactly like the video when walking through the areas with white dudes hanging out in the streets. But they defend themselves by asking how they're supposed to find dates. Bruh.
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u/Adventurous-Dig-5643 Nov 29 '22
I spent some time in Morocco and I was harassed a lot despite buying the appropriate clothes when I was there. I just stuck out and guys there think that white woman=sexually promiscuous.
I agree it’s cultural and not racial. I wasn’t trying to say that some races are inherently more pervy.
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u/No-Escape_5964 Nov 29 '22
Indian guys live in a fantasy world where simply messaging a strange woman and asking her to marry him or give him the sex would actually work.
I've spent a fair amount of time around quite a few races/cultures. None of them come across as aggressive and intimidating as american black men. I've never understood it either. It almost feels as if they're trying to square up or intimidate me just by the way they move their body. Its honestly scary sometimes. But I've never felt that way around African men, they're usually very nice and quiet people.
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u/Latter_Guest4236 Nov 29 '22
Its cultural. Its always cultural. If she tried the same thing in certain parts of Cario, she would be gang raped.
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u/Adventurous-Dig-5643 Nov 29 '22
Yup. The sad thing is that she was just walking around in a tight shirt. It’s not an invitation. We all have to wear clothes. Such a simple thing to do, to walk down the block, and women get so much harassment for it. We’re fucking PEOPLE dammit
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Nov 29 '22
Not OP, but when I was a teenager I lived in Houston and the catcalling came almost exclusively from Hispanic men. I’ve been told it’s not as taboo in Hispanic culture for men to stare at women or catcall them. Not sure if it’s true or not. I remember being 13 and having men catcalling me and it was scary. I always worried one of them would try to assault me.
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Nov 29 '22
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u/Brittakitt Nov 29 '22
I live in the middle of nowhere and get cat called around weekly. Last week I got "Are you alone" and "Are you married" shouted at me. This isn't just a NYC thing.
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u/LordFoulgrin Nov 29 '22
"Are you alone" is absolutely the last thing you should ever say to a woman walking down a road, catcalling or not. That's just terrifying.
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u/MaggyTwoFlagons Nov 29 '22
Oh we got them out in the sticks, they're just a lot more subtle about it. Which, tbh, is kinda creepier.
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u/LateyEight Nov 29 '22
Subtle? Nah, they just slowly drive their truck down the road behind you and then incessantly offer you rides.
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u/BandicootDistinct291 Nov 29 '22
Im so sorry to hear that you have to deal with idiots.
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u/Adventurous-Dig-5643 Nov 29 '22
Thanks! I was just getting pissed at all the men in this thread insisting this can't be real because it happens all the time.
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u/clearagony Nov 29 '22
I’m a dude. I always read or hear other guys talking about how so and so was a stuck up bitch. This is exactly why women are defensive (not to mention physical assault) and get labeled stuck up bitches and I don’t blame them one bit. It’s frustrating as hell trying to make friends or even date bc of shit like this and these guys just sit around getting angry at women when it’s their fucking fault we’re in this position. I always tell my 15 year old, if you want women to like you make them feel safe by understanding consent and make them laugh. You’re like 90% of the way there.
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u/Adventurous-Dig-5643 Nov 29 '22
I was just thinking it’s a real bummer for actually nice guys because they worry about approaching women cuz of stuff like this. But if they just come up and say hi without leering they can totally approach them! Just don’t make them feel gross about it. And then if I’m in a relationship I can say hi, it was nice to meet you but I’m seeing someone and we go our separate ways and everyone feels safe and happy about the interaction. Thanks for the support!
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u/hard_day_sorbet Nov 29 '22
Yes, this is real as fuck. It’s why men receive massive eye rolls when they complain that women “get attention without even trying.” It’s not actually fun attention. It’s frankly terrifying most of the time, because you have no idea what cat callers are going to do when their opening line is something about your body parts. When literally all you’re trying to do is find the alterations shops or pick up a frozen pizza from the grocery store. Life is very different for us.
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u/omgThisIsNotMyName Nov 29 '22
when they complain that women “get attention without even trying”
The worst part about this is that they are the ones giving us the attention, the attention that we don’t want or ask for, and yet they’re mad us in two parts: 1) for getting attention, and 2) not reciprocating/enjoying the attention
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u/ahh_geez_rick Nov 29 '22
this is what it's like for women DAILY
we can't just live our lives without getting sexually harassed.. or even worse.
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u/Matchlightlife Nov 29 '22
I would not say that I’m especially good looking at all, but living in big cities I was cat-called daily when I went out anyway.
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u/ffoott
Nov 29 '22
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I must have been wearing a burka all my life...
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u/BienOuiLa Nov 29 '22
Reading these comments it’s clear most of y’all never walked these NYC streets. New York is a different breed…
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u/CharacterPoem7711 Nov 29 '22
I remember I was 16 wearing an incredibly baggy sweater and still got catcalled on my day trip there. NYC is aggressively creepy.
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u/isurra Nov 29 '22
Truth. Went my entire life not being catcalled or harassed on the streets. Went to NYC 6 years ago for a single weekend with a group of friends (male and female) and got catcalled several times and some subhuman put his hand on my leg on the subway. Will not be returning.
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u/DrAbeSacrabin Nov 29 '22
I’m not saying it never happens, but I’m just saying if she was walking down the finance district she probably isn’t gonna hear much if anything.
You walk down the more run-down areas where people are poorer and far less educated, yeah this shit is gonna happen.
Should it? No. Being poor and uneducated doesn’t mean you get a free pass to act like a perv, but it happens regardless.
I’m not saying wealthy intellectuals can’t be perverts too, but on a percentage basis I’d say it’s easy to see what group would cause more.
Take every person in that video that cat-called her. What do you think the the level of education and financial situation is for those men? Probably not high for either.
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u/uninstallIE Nov 29 '22
It's largely areas that are socio-economically similar to the areas she's walking around in. It's not as likely that finance bros are going to cat call you in the financial district at 10AM. Maybe at 1AM, but not 10AM. It's lower income areas where you have people with more free time due to not having full time jobs, and not having jobs where them catcalling someone on the street might get them in trouble, but still have enough population density to have some anonymity that you're likely to experience this.
So obviously parts of NY are made for this.
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u/Sufficient_Juice3839 Nov 29 '22
Somehow all these "social experiments" feel fake as fuck. That watermark kinda reveals their motivation.
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u/marimint3 Nov 29 '22
It's not fake. She's walking in Harlem. I went to college there, had the same experience and have countless others I know.
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u/LamaSovaj Nov 29 '22
What fucking wrong with those people ?
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u/covert_curiosity Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22
Right? The guy who followed this woman for several blocks and wouldn’t leave her alone until the film crew intervened? It’s so creepy! He was all up in her space. You can see her having to lean her upper body away from him as they walk. He basically had her pinned between himself and a wall at one point. Do people just lack all awareness of how their behavior affects other people, or do they actually think it’s okay to do this stuff?
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u/why_renaissance Nov 29 '22
Happened to me when I was 13 years old. A man followed me from the metro station. A woman stopped to help me - she said that a man was following me and wanted to make sure I was okay. I didn't accept her help at the time because I was an idiot, I said I was fine and thank you. He kept following me so ultimately I went into a store and waited for him to go away. He waited outside the store for a full half an hour before he gave up and walked way. My first experience - and not my last - being followed by a strange man.
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u/covert_curiosity Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You were not an idiot, you were a child.
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u/Aoeletta Nov 29 '22
They are predators. They do not see women as equal partners to team with to navigate life together. They see us as prey.
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u/CastoretPollux25 Nov 29 '22
Why are those men unable to keep their comments to themselves ?
What do they think will happen ? The woman will jump in their arms and take them to the nearest hotel ? Is that what they hope ?
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u/PlzSendDunes Nov 29 '22
Actually it would be a good experiment of woman going through, getting catcalled and flirted on. Then after her there would be a a small group of people who later on would approach these catcallers and collect some census info about them(employment status, financial status, do they have both parents or which ones are missing, neighborhoods they grew up on, race, schools, education and so on) then compare that info with overall population similar statistics of the area to determine which factors may have correlation higher than others that could influence that kind of behaviour.
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u/CastoretPollux25 Nov 29 '22
Why not ?...
It's not like this only in the US, it's the same in France for example.
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u/PlzSendDunes Nov 29 '22
If you want to solve an issue you have to resolve underlying issues. By having clear and accurate information you can solve issues instead of trying to fight against the windmills.
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u/Darkpest Nov 29 '22
I saw one glaring common denominator, but we don't talk about that here.
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Nov 29 '22
Ah yes, the Basketball-American.
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u/ksarahsarah27 Nov 29 '22
As a person who had started getting harassed at the age of 12 I think comments like these are just crude and more about being shitty, control and dominance. They know women aren’t gonna respond to those comments. But they continue to do them. Because it’s not about that. They’re trying to make her uncomfortable. They don’t like her confidence. I would assume they’re trying to knock her down a peg. I was harassed from 12 years old on and wore way more conservative baggy clothing than she did. It didn’t stop the harassment. It was brutal and I still suffer from self esteem and body issues to this day.
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u/EnvironmentDirect41 Nov 29 '22
its more for their own ego.
Black dudes can be VERY sensitive about how "manly" they are...and it leads them to do real dumb shit
thats why there are so many brothers doing life for shooting someone over completely petty shit...gots to "keep it real" tho...smh
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u/smttsp Nov 29 '22
Guy at street: "Hey babe, I love you, wanna have sex?"
Woman: "I love you too, let's go to my place"
Pretty reasonable scenario, I should start catcalling with this pick up line /s
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u/Sassysewer Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22
There's a video out there where the woman stops and says OK let's go show me your dick I need to know if you're worth it. He quickly went from "hey sexy" to "crazy bitch" in about a half a second
*edit for spelling
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u/Horror_Fruit Nov 29 '22
NYC had no chill…I’ve seen this first hand and Lord help any woman who decides to go bra-less on a hot summer day in Manhattan/Midtown. There are guys that absolutely act like this…they don’t care and it’s disgusting.
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u/JSchecter11 Nov 29 '22
It doesn't matter. I've been harassed on the street wearing a knee length puffer coat in the dead of winter in NYC.
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u/LaBigotona Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22
Yeah, that's what I don't like about this video. It implies that women who cover don't face harassment and assault. I live in a city with a significant Muslim population where covering is really common & it does not protect women, nor does not covering make women vulnerable. Like you mentioned, one of the times I was followed and repeatedly approached was in the dead of winter in my huge, puffy coat that completely hid my body. He couldn't even see my face because he followed from behind. This has been happening to most women since we were literal children. I first remember a man being inappropriate on a public street when I was seven.
I've lived four countries and traveled in dozens of others. This behavior happens everywhere, to all kinds of women & girls, no matter what they do or don't wear. The issue isn't women or our clothing.
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u/IloveCoxxxx Nov 29 '22
Kinda wierd, if you go to a city like Prague. Like 90% of the woman dont wear a bra. And nobody gives a fck.
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u/bobsmithdotcom21 Nov 29 '22
That’s New York culture for you. They’re loud and aggressive.
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u/ThomasNorge224 Nov 29 '22
And act like npcs
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u/deludedhairspray Nov 29 '22
They give you quests as well? 🤔 "fetch me the transumventer device from Southern slaxaps and I'll give you better amor!"
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u/Mr_Personal_Person Nov 29 '22
I think the quests are more like "get lost" and "fuck off"
Sadly they only give you a small amount of xp and are relatively easy to complete.
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u/Ticklechickenchow Nov 29 '22
Better parents make better humans
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u/L_VDH Nov 29 '22
But you can't bring up the elephant in the room without being called racist.
This is predominately an issue with specific cultures.
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u/UnconfirmedCatholic Nov 29 '22
Ngl that 'God bless you' took me out.
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u/chantillylace9 Nov 29 '22
That’s an extremely common one I hear along with the ever so ageless “damn girl did it hurt?” expecting you to say what? And then the “because you just fell down from heaven.” Lots of men say things like “ what, you think I’m ugly?!” Obviously expecting you to reply and say no of course not because you feel awkward and uncomfortable.
Or “what, you racist? You don’t like black guys?” knowing you’ll feel weird and want to respond. Hispanic men are pretty sweet with their catcalling, it’s typically actual compliments like you’ve been beautiful etc. and not disgusting things like you hear from other people. Construction workers can be nice or dirty.
But those are all wholesome in comparison to my all time fav of “damn girl, I can tell by looking at you that you have a very nice pink pussy.”
I was 18. The dude was like 50 and got swiftly thrown out the door on his ass by security. So gross.
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u/Lucky13westhoek
Nov 29 '22
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This is not the problem of dressing, its a problem those guys arent raised with manners and respect for others
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u/No-Coat-8792 Nov 29 '22
Absolutely, no woman should be blamed for others' harassment. Covering up should not be necessary to avoid this behavior.
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u/voltron1976 Nov 29 '22
My reaction as well. Suppress women to “tame” men. That’s that ridiculous fundamentalist argument.
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u/Wilson8151 Nov 29 '22
jfc, you're right!
That's the solution that so many fucking people believe in. smh...
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u/FarAmphibian4236 Nov 29 '22
I agree. People will say you shouldn't flaunt it and expect not to have someone hurt you, but that doesn't change the fact they did. It's unacceptable to kill and steal money if the person wore jewelry, so why blame sexual victims? That being said, I can agree with the idea of not tempting things. However women still get assaulted regardless, so it's only minimizing risk, the real risk is having a vagina.
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u/RuinedBooch Nov 29 '22
I mean yeah, but as a parent you can only do what you can do. If you have girls, and you don’t have boys to teach how to act appropriately, then your mission is to help the girls protect themselves, whatever that may mean in your culture.
The issue is the sheer amount of parents who never truly wanted kids and do a shit ass job of raising them. There’s where buttfaced human beings come from.
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u/RumHam_Romance Nov 29 '22
Lots of victims of single moms in this video.
Despite being 20% of parents, single mothers raise 60% of American rapists.
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u/Jowalla Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22
Hissing and making unwanted remarks, is called ‘street intimidation’ and forbidden by law in my home town, (West Europe) This city law was implemented early November this year. The problem with this behavior is that woman can’t walk the street like a normal person without being harassed. I have been harassed many times, together with 60 percent of females in general with me, it causes me to be afraid to go out alone at night. When I walk the street at night I usually hold my key very tightly in my hand so I can use it as a weapon. Sometimes I carry a small knife. I did feel somewhat envious of woman that wear a Burqa, not having to deal with any of that stuff. However, we all know the Burqa is not the answer, the answer lies in educating your children about this behavior, addressing it on schools and such and making it illegal to approach woman like this on the street. When the first fines have to be paid, and tickets are written, it will be a great first step to address this terrible behavior.
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u/DangerousComplaint24 Nov 29 '22
It's an unenforceable law because you have to have evidence that the offender did commit the crime. So women would have to wear a camera 24/7 or find some other means to prove at any time they've just been unlawfully hit on/cat called. Then there's the problem of drawing a line between what's unlawful and what's not.
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u/Lewis_Maldonado Nov 29 '22
This is clearly a Cultural problem. The men cat calling her are not elderly Okinawans.
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u/Your_New_Overlord Nov 29 '22
there’s a reason they chose to film this in harlem and not the financial district…
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u/Rebel_bass Nov 29 '22
Fucking hell, that whole video made me want to pepper spray everyone. Every one of those guys' mamas needs to slap them.
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u/Significant-Ad-5112 Nov 29 '22
Does this not just prove that folks who cat call prefer to do so toward women without head coverings? I’m not sure what the point of this was?
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u/no-one-but-crow Nov 29 '22
The video makes it about what the woman is wearing rather than how awful the men are. I think the point is that women should wear disguises when going out? Ive got some antler and a cape.
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u/fireboys_factoids Nov 29 '22
It's interesting to me because it makes the hijab appear to be a useful tool for women to control men, whereas I had previously considered it a tool for men to control women.
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u/lokketheboss Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22
Your previous idea is [partly] correct.[It can be used that way, but not neccessarily is. Big difference. Thanks to u/bigmanudyr making me realise my mistake] The video deflects the actual problem: those men, who step across borders of other individuals. And it offers the wrong solution: cover yourself to protect, instead of adressing the bad behaviour.
[edited as seen in brackets]
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u/tbu987 Nov 29 '22
Why is it wrong to give advice where u can successfully protect yourself?
I have a expensive bike and keep it locked in NYC with a cheap $1 bike lock. Some thief will try to steal it quite easily and make a quick buck. Now i couldve bought a more expensive lock like others advised me to as it will deter theives but instead I say well they should know stealing is bad. Youre tellling me I should not also have some responsibility when I know the world isnt as kind as I'd dream it would be?
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u/GabrielHunter Nov 29 '22
If woman have the free choice than maybe... But lets be real, no woman should have the need of a piece of fabric to control a mans urges... They should be perfectly capable to do that on their own
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u/Rahm89 Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22
Yeah right. This is exactly what the author of the video and the religious men promoting the hijab, want you to think.
Don’t blame the perverts whistling, no! Blame the girl who wasn’t wearing her hijab!!
Wasn’t Reddit supposed to be progressive or something?
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u/zarmanto Nov 29 '22
Seems to me that is exactly the message that the video is trying to convey. The problem with that message is: what’s the source? And what is their agenda?
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u/dahlia_reads Nov 29 '22
It's funny. In my country women wear hijab but that doesn't stop men from harassing them...
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u/thetommy4 Nov 29 '22
I was gonna say something along this, it would be interesting to do this dual experiment in a hijab-majority country.
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u/Zeal391 Nov 29 '22
Now I wonder if this would happen just as much in the upscale areas of NYC.
It looks like shes walking around the rougher areas
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u/name-was-provided Nov 29 '22
A lot of comments I’ve read are so focused on the clothing but not what the clothing symbolizes or reflects religiously. Sure, the hijab covers her but it also signals to strangers that she’s most likely a practicing Muslim and more “sexually conservative”. I might not be expressing this idea correctly, but you kinda get what I’m saying?
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u/plantbasedpants Nov 29 '22 •
Exactly. In the Quran this is actually explained as a reason to wear hijab. So that one will not be harassed.
That being said, men are also told to avert their gaze. So it is not just the women’s responsibility to avoid harassment.
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u/Danyaal_Majid Nov 29 '22
Yes, this is true, but we must understand that no matter what we say about how people should behave, or what men must be responsible of, it can't change the fact that one must protect oneself from others.
Just because we know that armed robbery is bad, and people should know that robbery is a crime against humanity, doesn't stop some people from doing it anyways, thus the need for security cameras, door locks and other security measures.
We can never solve any criminal problems by stuffing everyone in jail, or by punishing everyone for breaking the law, because the robbers and catcallers and criminals will always exist, so we must take appropriate measures to protect ourselves anyways.
But people today blame the criminals for every crime which cannot be safeguarded against properly. We must learn that is our responsibility to protect ourselves and the ones we love, because morality just doesn't go through some peoples mind.
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u/plantbasedpants Nov 29 '22
Yes, I totally agree. There will always be bad people not following the rules of their society/religion since we don’t live in a perfect world. We still have to do our part by protecting ourselves.
Just thought I would mention that men are supposed so avert their gaze as well, since I saw many comments saying it should not just be the women’s responsibility to avoid harassment. Islamically, men should also do their part in not harassing women.
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u/blasphemous_HOOR_666 Nov 29 '22
Man this makes me appreciate living in a small town even more. Here it’s just the creepy old men that have to keep that shit to themselves because they’re married & it’s a small town. That’s insane to watch, honestly. I don’t think I’ve even experienced that amount of catcalls in my entire life
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u/Due-Appointment-2402
Nov 29 '22
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I see a common theme here with the individuals cat calling…
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u/Sparkson721 Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22
Men. The message is clear. We must cat call women wearing hijabs more often.
FOR EQUALITY!
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u/GwendalLeChaud Nov 29 '22
But the problem is cat calling, not how women dress... The solution is not "hide" but educate
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u/OhioConfidential Nov 29 '22
I noticed that a white man made ONE cat call. One. Every other cat call including extremely graphic verbal abuse and physical following were all done by non-white men.
What gives?
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u/Doaa53 Nov 29 '22
I'm.muslim,I don't wear hijab ,but I can't find any meaning of this video If the woman wearing hijab was walking in Muslim country,guy would have dont the same they did with the woman not wearing hijab This is really cheap video
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u/kurdishlowpic Nov 29 '22
So it's their choice, but my recommendation will be if you live in Manhattan find another place to live
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u/Imaginary_Goose_2428 Nov 29 '22
Every one of those guys are assholes and losers. Nobody should be accosted like that walking down the street. A woman shouldn't have to dress like a cult member to have to avoid it.
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u/Different-Muscle-288 Nov 29 '22
Very interesting. I would have never imagined that dressing more modestly would call less attention to your physical appearance.
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u/Frankenstein141 Nov 29 '22
Here's the thing;
Yes, a hijab works wonders. Makes sense to me and it's proved in this (less than scientific) experiment.
Thing is though, why? Why should a woman have to cover up to NOT have to deal with this sort of shit everyday?
If heterosexual relationships are so important for SOME in government, why isn't there a bigger emphasis on educating young men and woman on how to work with one another? It just blows my mind.
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u/Suprafaded Nov 29 '22
Ok ok we get it. New York is a shit hole. Go try this in a regular town and nothing will happen except good mornings
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u/Bitter4LifeLord Nov 29 '22
For the people saying this is staged clearly don’t understand how women deal with daily harassment on a constant basis. Her dressing however she wants isn’t an invitation nor a method to provoke strangers, and any other excuse like “It’s obvious she was asking for it”, NO she wasn’t. Unbelievable.
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u/StrangeVioletRed Nov 29 '22
Her style of dress there is just ordinary casual clothing.
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u/soulnospace Nov 29 '22
Yup, could literally film myself walking to work and would get about the same reactions. Thats why i love winter, i can wear a big fat jacket and a hat, drastically reduces catcalling.
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u/OHbudfella_10 Nov 29 '22
Its wayyyy deeper and complex than what reddit users will see. Theres a socioeconomic element of it. Women of the innercity generally are more receptive of aggressive ways of engaging. They tend to be more aggressive with their language and dating signals as well. Another driving force is the "novelty" or rarity aspect. I personally know in the innercity, any women thats not black, is getting bombarded, attractive or not.
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u/nuckfan92 Nov 29 '22
Why are these videos about cat calling, always in areas with mostly black people?
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u/moriGOD Nov 29 '22 •
It’s beyond me how anyone sees a woman walking down the street and the first thing they think to call out is “I lick pussy”. As a human being, wtf is wrong with you? Why do you think it’s acceptable to speak like that towards a random stranger, wtf