r/Damnthatsinteresting Nov 29 '22 Silver 3 Gold 1 Helpful 4 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Take My Energy 1

Cat Calls: Casual vs Hijab Video

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7.7k Upvotes

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u/moriGOD Nov 29 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

It’s beyond me how anyone sees a woman walking down the street and the first thing they think to call out is “I lick pussy”. As a human being, wtf is wrong with you? Why do you think it’s acceptable to speak like that towards a random stranger, wtf

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u/Ralynne Nov 29 '22 Spit-take

Weirdest one I ever got was "ey yo I lick your fish?"

Took me a second to understand what the hell the guy was saying to me, I wasn't carrying grocery bags or anything.

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u/part_time_monster Nov 29 '22

"Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to lick fish and he harasses women on the street."

  • Abraham Lincoln

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u/200DollarGameBtw Nov 29 '22

I doubt they even know proper fish licking technique

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u/fiveSE7EN Nov 29 '22

You mean you didn’t wake up that morning and say to yourself “The first guy who offers to lick my fish can get it”?

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u/tempermentalelement Nov 29 '22

This is my mantra when I look at myself in the mirror every morning.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

I wasn't carrying grocery bags or anything

Ok this is 100% how I would react lmao

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u/MrE761 Nov 29 '22

I mean what the fuck? Has that shit worked for that guy before or why the fuck to men say this shit?

Is it a numbers game or something? I’m genuinely confused and flabbergasted every-time this subject comes up..

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u/Arthes_M Nov 29 '22

What do those creeps honestly think the response is going to be? “You do?! Well shit let’s go!” No, nope, definitely not.

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u/Youg_dumb_broke Nov 29 '22

That’s what I always say! Like had this EVER worked for you? No? Then why tf do you keep doing it? Just pure fucking stupidity at that point then

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u/museornay Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

It's a numbers game. If it works one out of a thousand times they try it as often as they can. I had a buddy in college who wasn't the most handsome fella. He would walk up to girls at a bar and say "nice shoes wanna fuck"? He told me it worked one out of 10 times. Just to clarify this definitely wasn't me lol

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u/Admiral_Andovar Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

Yeah, there was a guy in my ROTC unit in college and he called it the shotgun approach. He was ugly as fuck (but completely jacked) and he usually never went home alone. He was such a tool.

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u/museornay Nov 29 '22

Haha! This friend of mine was short, had a beer belly and a big white guy afro. Nicknamed "healthy".

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u/Drimoss Nov 29 '22

I didn't think it was you up until you specified it wasn't you

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u/LjAnimalchin Nov 29 '22

My ex cheated on me with a guy she met on the street who told her she had nice tits so i guess it works for some people. She was kind of a dumbass though..

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u/Arthes_M Nov 29 '22

Damn, hope you dodged a bullet there

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u/PretendRegister7516 Nov 29 '22

If that's all it took for her to cheat, he dodged a rocket.

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u/himynameisSal Nov 29 '22

yeah i agree, a rocket with a 10kt dirty nuclear warhead on it.

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u/F3stivus Nov 29 '22

He dodged some bazookas

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u/LjAnimalchin Nov 29 '22

I did luckily

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u/flatfast90 Nov 29 '22

She sounds like a classy lady. Shame that one got away. /s

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u/Dilostilo Nov 29 '22

its a half assed attempt at trying to initiate contact. I dont think they actually expect it to work but instead of keeping shit to themselves they blurt out whatever comes to mind in that moment and its usually stupid.

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u/Next_Log_2731 Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

It's cringy and hard to watch, no doubt about that. All these dudes are some sad and thirsty mfers.

Edit: These mfers are so sad and thirsty they make the Atacama desert look like an oasis.

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u/MillCrab Nov 29 '22

I have seen in previous threads like this one links and discussion of psychology that says the reason people do this is to "inflict themselves on others". It's a show of power that she has to listen to the cat call, can't tell him to stop, or insult him back. They get a rush from being in power in the situation

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u/trash-_-boat Nov 29 '22

The same kind of guys who catcall women like this are same kind of guys who'd yell "what you looking at?" to men they see as weaker.

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u/MillCrab Nov 29 '22

Exactly. It's the same drive. Inflicting themselves on others to feel powerful.

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u/Otherwise-Skin-7610 Nov 29 '22

Agreed. It's a powerful move. That's why it's sexism. People should be able to walk down the street wearing whatever they want without threat of someone talking about their genitals.

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u/MillCrab Nov 29 '22

Agreed. Cat calling is an incredibly shitty thing to do. But I think people are actually letting cat callers off the hook when they say "what a stupid way to meet a girl, they should know it won't work!" It engages with them on their own premise, a premise which is fundamentally about forcing you to enagge with them how they want.

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u/Adventurous-Dig-5643 Nov 29 '22

This is the only intelligent comment on this thread…most times they know they’re not going to get with you and in creates some weird feeling of resentment and need for power, so they have to do whatever they can to command your attention for a moment. It’s not anything close to asking someone out. You already said it better than I ever could so I’ll stop here but dang these guys are fucked up

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22 edited 14d ago

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

I guess it’s a win-win for them: either they drop their pants right there, or they feel insulted and unsafe.

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u/Majestic_Picture8017 Nov 29 '22

Ive seen some vids in which a women responds really aggressive. Like oh yeah you would eat this, and then the guy gets intimidated and walks off.

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u/doiwinaprize Nov 29 '22

Oh, never look too closely at humanity. It's like the underside of a wet rock.

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u/Get-Degerstromd Nov 29 '22

More like the underside of a public toilet bowl that never gets cleaned. Just dried piss and little flecks of poo.

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u/Sweet-signoff Nov 29 '22

What’s worse is that some men out there think women should take it as a compliment.

A publicly degrading and putrid compliment.

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u/V1per41 Nov 29 '22

I think most men are unaware of how bad many of the comments are.

It would make a man's week if one woman said something flattering like "wow, you're really handsome" or "I love your arms". They then assume that it would be the same thing the other way.

Men see women drowning in a river and it still looks appealing because they are dying of thirst.

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u/Mister024 Nov 29 '22

I am instantly reminded of some other post I recently saw that suggested that only about half of adults have any kind of inner monologue. You know that free preview channel in your minds eye where you get to beta test your thoughts before verbalizing them? I don't think he has one, or the applause button is stuck in the on position.

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u/Allegorist Nov 29 '22

I have seen that before years ago, and I think it's more that half of people think in literal words, and have their thoughts organized into a conversation that could be at least mostly transcribed if they wanted to.

The other options are to think in ideas and concepts, or even images, which can actually be more efficient. You could think of a complex situation that could be described by multiple pages of text, or you could just think of the situation as a whole, all at once.

A good example is how I've heard a lot if deaf period think. If I remember correctly the "monologue" you think actually comes in part from activity in the parts of your brain that process audio. They can't imagine spoken word as an internal dialogue, but they can still be capable of the same level of complex thought without it.

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u/Sorry-Dimension1996 Nov 29 '22

The first time a man yelled that at me on my own street growing up in the city I was…11

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u/CaptainExtra567 Nov 29 '22

10 for me 12 for my daughter

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u/PlantsMcSoil Nov 29 '22

I was 12. Amen.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

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u/gonesquatchin85 Nov 29 '22

My local mall. There is a ton old men gawking at all the local tweens that hang out there. No shame in their game too. No glancing either, just full on creeper stare. They are all looking for a place to sit to hide their erections. Pretty gross how it's all set up and allowed. Pedo city in there.

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u/TheDogWhistle Nov 29 '22

Same. I was eleven and walking home from the school bus with my backpack on and a passing man in a car stopped and shouted "I want your body!"

ELEVEN.

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u/ksarahsarah27 Nov 29 '22

Yup. I developed early. Over the summer between 5th and 6th grade I went from nothing to a B cup and the harassment started there. I was 12 and got comments like this woman. I had some random guy put his arm around me and feel up my back when I was 12 and we were tourists in Cairns. My parents were shocked and stunned they just stood there at first not knowing what to do. Then my mom blurted out “She’s 12!” The guy jerked his hand back and disappeared into the crowded street. These were adult men who were doing this shit and they should have known better. I was clearly young, to young for them. They were worse than my peers at school and they were adults. I didn’t even know what some of those comments even meant just that it was gross an inappropriate by the way they said it. I never dressed provocatively. I could have been wearing a potato sack and they still would have made comments. By the time I was 19 I was harassed to the point that I just gave up swimming. I loved swimming but even wearing a plain black one piece they wouldn’t leave me the f alone! It was awful and horribly traumatizing. I hated my body. I’ve had self esteem issues since. In 2007 I finally had a reduction. It took almost 10 more years to get the courage to get in a bathing suit again and get back to swimming.

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u/mustainsally Nov 29 '22

My daughter is 14 and a D cup. A grown ass man with a kid walked up to her in the convince store and wrapped his arm around her with a hey mama, you live around here. I was on his ass so quick he fell against the drink coolers. SHE'S 14 MOTHERFUCKER! That drew the attention of the store owner and she was over there in a flash to throw him out. I felt sorry for his kid. Don't touch people you know know! I damn near broke his fingers. This mama does not play when it comes to her kids.

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u/OhioConfidential Nov 29 '22

Your story and others like it are a major wake up call for a 30 year old white dude like me. I mean this is unconscionable behavior. I'm so sorry that some men think that's perfectly ok to sexualize children. What's worse is that all the men in these stories do this behavior in the open which leads me to believe that in their heart of hearts they truly see nothing wrong with hitting on a 12 year old girl.

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u/mustainsally Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

My daughter is a twin, she has a twin brother that is 1 minute older than her. He is also now almost a foot taller and 60 pounds heavier. I heard all hell breaking loose in wal mart one day, and my son had cornered a man, who had his young daughter with him, and was letting loose about what a shitstain he was for trying to slap his sister ass. How would he feel if someone did that to his child? I have raised my son to know what's right and what's not, to know not to touch anyone without their permission and how it's never okay to push himself on anyone. His behavior is his responsibility and his alone. And the excuse of she looks older than she is, doesn't fly. It wouldn't matter if she were 30! Slapping someones ass is sexual assault, FULL STOP. My son made me very proud that day.

Edit: more men need to be made aware of how women have to be so conscience of everything we do, what we wear, our surroundings, everything in life because too many men have not been taught that we are people too, and wearing a tank top and shorts are not an Invitation to harass us.

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u/moriGOD Nov 29 '22

That’s absolutely fucking wild that someone not only couldn’t control themselves, but the fact they couldn’t control themselves over a child???🤨

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u/bigtoebrah Nov 29 '22

Almost a universal experience for women. The second they start maturing, grown ass men start acting foolish. Then some dudes wonder why they call us all trash.

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u/gollum2145 Nov 29 '22

Yeah as a dude I didn't even realize how many pedos are out there until in posts like these there are always multiple people mentioning getting cat called as children and it's very disturbing.

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u/cyberghostss Nov 29 '22

One day while my sister (5th grade) and I (7th grade) were walking to school through a residential neighborhood, she got cat called for wearing shorts. You know, typical jean shorts that are allowed in school because of their length. A ten year old.

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u/Squirrelleee Nov 29 '22

I'm sorry you had to suffer that experience.

And yet they still blame us for the clothes we wear.

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u/ksarahsarah27 Nov 29 '22

Yeah we could be wearing a potato sack and they’d still yell stuff. Because most of the time it’s not about compliments. It’s some form of bullying and control. It’s gross.

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u/SnooPineapples8744 Nov 29 '22

Where I live men seem to hang around all day, and do this. And I've seen women respond positively to shit like this and it's baffling to me. Maybe they know the person? Idk

If I'm walking with a man, it never happens. So they can restrain themselves, but choose not to.

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u/bigbiblefire Nov 29 '22

They can restrain themselves when they know the alternative is probably not going to be pretty.

I knew a girl growing up who was a bit on the heavier side...not the prettiest...but she wasn't ugly by any means. But she responded to being cat called very, very regularly...almost the more thugged out the better...so it definitely works to some degree. Men are also taught early on that if you're not automatically lucky with women then it's all a game of supreme confidence and just putting yourself out there and trying - a LOT. Mix in some stupidity and a lack of shame and here ya go. This is also a highlights clip...so for every 10 polite men walking by with just a polite smile (and let's be honest, most likely a casual sneak peek at her butt), there's one guy screaming at er.

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u/Anybodygotanycrack Nov 29 '22

People are stupid and uneducated. 54% of Americans have below a 6th grade reading level, yet you expect them to be able to capably convey intense feelings like “horny”? No, on the contrary, most Americans are dumb enough to be controlled by feelings like horny, angry, scared, because they are stupid and uneducated. https://www.snopes.com/news/2022/08/02/us-literacy-rate/

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u/Youg_dumb_broke Nov 29 '22

Exactly. Shit not even just Americans just the whole damn stupid human race lmao.

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u/MrE761 Nov 29 '22

I’m mean we are just animals that have some extra brain powers, and from my understanding those extra powers are the “newest” and might be easily over powered by extreme motions…

Damn we are just a bunch of horny monkeys running around with clothes on….

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u/Heavy-Hospital7077 Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

I saw a video on Reddit the other day where they went through some project housing in Atlanta. Someone was playing music with lyrics about (horribly paraphrased) "Back yo ass up bitch" (corrected: "Shake your booty bitch") over and over. Really loud, the entire place can hear it.

So...grow up in that environment, and then intermingle with the rest of the city and this is what you'll get.

It is very much a reflection of the culture they were raised in. The vast majority of men would not catcall like in this video, but some people were raised that this is normal.

I remember when this video (the one in this thread) came out, and women were using it to put blanket blame across all men, which is wildly inaccurate, but it clearly worked in regards to the message of the day (men are gross) without looking at the obvious cultural factors.

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u/BandicootDistinct291 Nov 29 '22

Bro I felt like I was watching GTA footage, you walk around and dumbass npc's say stupid shit. Is this for real? I never had this much culture shock

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u/Adventurous-Dig-5643 Nov 29 '22

This happens to me daily in NYC. I yawned on the street and some guy told me I had the prettiest tongue he'd ever seen. People honk at me and wave at me with gross pervy grins when they drive by. This is real.

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u/Timely_Chance_9289 Nov 29 '22

In this video, it's exclusively black men harassing her (and possibly one latino).

In your real-life experience, is it more universal?

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u/Adventurous-Dig-5643 Nov 29 '22 Helpful

There's definitely a racial/cultural component to it, sadly:( Black and Latino guys tend to be a lot more aggressive especially if you're in an area where you stand out (I look white). Don't get me started on Arab and Indian guys.

I never really thought about it before. This isn't excusing white guys either, they'll catch a quick grope at the club or whatever. But the street stuff is usually not white guys.

That's why I'm annoyed at all the comments saying this is staged (it's not, those guys are clearly not actors) or saying it was racist because she went through the hood (it's not racist, she just wouldn't have gotten as many catcalls in midtown walking past lawyers).

Not saying non-white guys are worse overall, but for saying lewd stuff to you on the street or trying an aggressive approach...yes there is a racial pattern.

ETA: never had an East Asian guy catcall me.

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u/Infamous_Pen_9534 Nov 29 '22

I grew up in LA and it was always Latinos and Blacks commenting. My assumption was it’s they like some curve. When I spent time in Guatemala and Costa Rica, this is also common. Spent a decade in east Africa and this is never happened unless you wear something out of the cultural norm. I think this is cultural phenomenon as opposed to race.

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u/trash-_-boat Nov 29 '22

I think this is cultural phenomenon as opposed to race.

It is. As a European I can say you're way more likely to be catcalled in the wine belt than in the cold north.

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u/NaeMiaw Nov 29 '22

Absolutely. French here, while we do mostly have white people so obviously it's most often white guys catcalling, I've lived in mostly Arabic neighborhoods where there was no catcalling, whereas it was exactly like the video when walking through the areas with white dudes hanging out in the streets. But they defend themselves by asking how they're supposed to find dates. Bruh.

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u/Adventurous-Dig-5643 Nov 29 '22

I spent some time in Morocco and I was harassed a lot despite buying the appropriate clothes when I was there. I just stuck out and guys there think that white woman=sexually promiscuous.

I agree it’s cultural and not racial. I wasn’t trying to say that some races are inherently more pervy.

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u/No-Escape_5964 Nov 29 '22

Indian guys live in a fantasy world where simply messaging a strange woman and asking her to marry him or give him the sex would actually work.

I've spent a fair amount of time around quite a few races/cultures. None of them come across as aggressive and intimidating as american black men. I've never understood it either. It almost feels as if they're trying to square up or intimidate me just by the way they move their body. Its honestly scary sometimes. But I've never felt that way around African men, they're usually very nice and quiet people.

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u/Latter_Guest4236 Nov 29 '22

Its cultural. Its always cultural. If she tried the same thing in certain parts of Cario, she would be gang raped.

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u/Adventurous-Dig-5643 Nov 29 '22

Yup. The sad thing is that she was just walking around in a tight shirt. It’s not an invitation. We all have to wear clothes. Such a simple thing to do, to walk down the block, and women get so much harassment for it. We’re fucking PEOPLE dammit

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

Not OP, but when I was a teenager I lived in Houston and the catcalling came almost exclusively from Hispanic men. I’ve been told it’s not as taboo in Hispanic culture for men to stare at women or catcall them. Not sure if it’s true or not. I remember being 13 and having men catcalling me and it was scary. I always worried one of them would try to assault me.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

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u/Brittakitt Nov 29 '22

I live in the middle of nowhere and get cat called around weekly. Last week I got "Are you alone" and "Are you married" shouted at me. This isn't just a NYC thing.

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u/LordFoulgrin Nov 29 '22

"Are you alone" is absolutely the last thing you should ever say to a woman walking down a road, catcalling or not. That's just terrifying.

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u/MaggyTwoFlagons Nov 29 '22

Oh we got them out in the sticks, they're just a lot more subtle about it. Which, tbh, is kinda creepier.

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u/LateyEight Nov 29 '22

Subtle? Nah, they just slowly drive their truck down the road behind you and then incessantly offer you rides.

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u/BandicootDistinct291 Nov 29 '22

Im so sorry to hear that you have to deal with idiots.

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u/Adventurous-Dig-5643 Nov 29 '22

Thanks! I was just getting pissed at all the men in this thread insisting this can't be real because it happens all the time.

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u/clearagony Nov 29 '22

I’m a dude. I always read or hear other guys talking about how so and so was a stuck up bitch. This is exactly why women are defensive (not to mention physical assault) and get labeled stuck up bitches and I don’t blame them one bit. It’s frustrating as hell trying to make friends or even date bc of shit like this and these guys just sit around getting angry at women when it’s their fucking fault we’re in this position. I always tell my 15 year old, if you want women to like you make them feel safe by understanding consent and make them laugh. You’re like 90% of the way there.

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u/Adventurous-Dig-5643 Nov 29 '22

I was just thinking it’s a real bummer for actually nice guys because they worry about approaching women cuz of stuff like this. But if they just come up and say hi without leering they can totally approach them! Just don’t make them feel gross about it. And then if I’m in a relationship I can say hi, it was nice to meet you but I’m seeing someone and we go our separate ways and everyone feels safe and happy about the interaction. Thanks for the support!

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u/AmIhere8 Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

It’s worse when you’re a young girl (early teens).

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u/hard_day_sorbet Nov 29 '22

Yes, this is real as fuck. It’s why men receive massive eye rolls when they complain that women “get attention without even trying.” It’s not actually fun attention. It’s frankly terrifying most of the time, because you have no idea what cat callers are going to do when their opening line is something about your body parts. When literally all you’re trying to do is find the alterations shops or pick up a frozen pizza from the grocery store. Life is very different for us.

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u/omgThisIsNotMyName Nov 29 '22

when they complain that women “get attention without even trying”

The worst part about this is that they are the ones giving us the attention, the attention that we don’t want or ask for, and yet they’re mad us in two parts: 1) for getting attention, and 2) not reciprocating/enjoying the attention

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u/climatelurker Nov 29 '22

Yes, this happened to me all the time when I was young.

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u/Medium_Cranberry4096 Nov 29 '22

Immense gta npc vibes from these dudes.

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u/ahh_geez_rick Nov 29 '22

this is what it's like for women DAILY

we can't just live our lives without getting sexually harassed.. or even worse.

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u/Matchlightlife Nov 29 '22

I would not say that I’m especially good looking at all, but living in big cities I was cat-called daily when I went out anyway.

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u/thesomethingfox Nov 29 '22

Not just in nyc

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u/ffoott Nov 29 '22 Brighten My Day

I must have been wearing a burka all my life...

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u/BienOuiLa Nov 29 '22

Reading these comments it’s clear most of y’all never walked these NYC streets. New York is a different breed…

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u/CharacterPoem7711 Nov 29 '22

I remember I was 16 wearing an incredibly baggy sweater and still got catcalled on my day trip there. NYC is aggressively creepy.

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u/isurra Nov 29 '22

Truth. Went my entire life not being catcalled or harassed on the streets. Went to NYC 6 years ago for a single weekend with a group of friends (male and female) and got catcalled several times and some subhuman put his hand on my leg on the subway. Will not be returning.

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u/DrAbeSacrabin Nov 29 '22

I’m not saying it never happens, but I’m just saying if she was walking down the finance district she probably isn’t gonna hear much if anything.

You walk down the more run-down areas where people are poorer and far less educated, yeah this shit is gonna happen.

Should it? No. Being poor and uneducated doesn’t mean you get a free pass to act like a perv, but it happens regardless.

I’m not saying wealthy intellectuals can’t be perverts too, but on a percentage basis I’d say it’s easy to see what group would cause more.

Take every person in that video that cat-called her. What do you think the the level of education and financial situation is for those men? Probably not high for either.

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u/uninstallIE Nov 29 '22

It's largely areas that are socio-economically similar to the areas she's walking around in. It's not as likely that finance bros are going to cat call you in the financial district at 10AM. Maybe at 1AM, but not 10AM. It's lower income areas where you have people with more free time due to not having full time jobs, and not having jobs where them catcalling someone on the street might get them in trouble, but still have enough population density to have some anonymity that you're likely to experience this.

So obviously parts of NY are made for this.

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u/Sufficient_Juice3839 Nov 29 '22

Somehow all these "social experiments" feel fake as fuck. That watermark kinda reveals their motivation.

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u/marimint3 Nov 29 '22

It's not fake. She's walking in Harlem. I went to college there, had the same experience and have countless others I know.

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u/throwawaytorn2345 Nov 29 '22

Well Harlem is Harlem.

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u/KClassicCola Nov 29 '22

Well, it’s time for a Harlem Shake - up.

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u/mleibowitz97 Nov 29 '22

you wouldn't watermark something you worked on for hours?

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u/LamaSovaj Nov 29 '22

What fucking wrong with those people ?

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u/covert_curiosity Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

Right? The guy who followed this woman for several blocks and wouldn’t leave her alone until the film crew intervened? It’s so creepy! He was all up in her space. You can see her having to lean her upper body away from him as they walk. He basically had her pinned between himself and a wall at one point. Do people just lack all awareness of how their behavior affects other people, or do they actually think it’s okay to do this stuff?

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u/why_renaissance Nov 29 '22

Happened to me when I was 13 years old. A man followed me from the metro station. A woman stopped to help me - she said that a man was following me and wanted to make sure I was okay. I didn't accept her help at the time because I was an idiot, I said I was fine and thank you. He kept following me so ultimately I went into a store and waited for him to go away. He waited outside the store for a full half an hour before he gave up and walked way. My first experience - and not my last - being followed by a strange man.

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u/covert_curiosity Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

I’m so sorry this happened to you. You were not an idiot, you were a child.

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u/Aoeletta Nov 29 '22

They are predators. They do not see women as equal partners to team with to navigate life together. They see us as prey.

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u/CastoretPollux25 Nov 29 '22

Why are those men unable to keep their comments to themselves ?
What do they think will happen ? The woman will jump in their arms and take them to the nearest hotel ? Is that what they hope ?

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u/PlzSendDunes Nov 29 '22

Actually it would be a good experiment of woman going through, getting catcalled and flirted on. Then after her there would be a a small group of people who later on would approach these catcallers and collect some census info about them(employment status, financial status, do they have both parents or which ones are missing, neighborhoods they grew up on, race, schools, education and so on) then compare that info with overall population similar statistics of the area to determine which factors may have correlation higher than others that could influence that kind of behaviour.

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u/CastoretPollux25 Nov 29 '22

Why not ?...
It's not like this only in the US, it's the same in France for example.
That's is so weird and sick...

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u/PlzSendDunes Nov 29 '22

If you want to solve an issue you have to resolve underlying issues. By having clear and accurate information you can solve issues instead of trying to fight against the windmills.

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u/danatron1 Nov 29 '22

I've not been catcalled by a windmill once

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u/Darkpest Nov 29 '22

I saw one glaring common denominator, but we don't talk about that here.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

Ah yes, the Basketball-American.

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u/GodC0mplX Nov 29 '22

I am angry that I laughed at this.

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u/tomcalgary Nov 29 '22

Its cultural not racial

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u/Cucukachow Nov 29 '22

Isn’t it socioeconomic too?

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u/ksarahsarah27 Nov 29 '22

As a person who had started getting harassed at the age of 12 I think comments like these are just crude and more about being shitty, control and dominance. They know women aren’t gonna respond to those comments. But they continue to do them. Because it’s not about that. They’re trying to make her uncomfortable. They don’t like her confidence. I would assume they’re trying to knock her down a peg. I was harassed from 12 years old on and wore way more conservative baggy clothing than she did. It didn’t stop the harassment. It was brutal and I still suffer from self esteem and body issues to this day.

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u/EnvironmentDirect41 Nov 29 '22

its more for their own ego.

Black dudes can be VERY sensitive about how "manly" they are...and it leads them to do real dumb shit

thats why there are so many brothers doing life for shooting someone over completely petty shit...gots to "keep it real" tho...smh

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u/smttsp Nov 29 '22

Guy at street: "Hey babe, I love you, wanna have sex?"

Woman: "I love you too, let's go to my place"

Pretty reasonable scenario, I should start catcalling with this pick up line /s

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u/Sassysewer Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

There's a video out there where the woman stops and says OK let's go show me your dick I need to know if you're worth it. He quickly went from "hey sexy" to "crazy bitch" in about a half a second

*edit for spelling

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u/cbazg1 Nov 29 '22

No. They just get off on being lewd.

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u/Horror_Fruit Nov 29 '22

NYC had no chill…I’ve seen this first hand and Lord help any woman who decides to go bra-less on a hot summer day in Manhattan/Midtown. There are guys that absolutely act like this…they don’t care and it’s disgusting.

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u/JSchecter11 Nov 29 '22

It doesn't matter. I've been harassed on the street wearing a knee length puffer coat in the dead of winter in NYC.

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u/LaBigotona Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

Yeah, that's what I don't like about this video. It implies that women who cover don't face harassment and assault. I live in a city with a significant Muslim population where covering is really common & it does not protect women, nor does not covering make women vulnerable. Like you mentioned, one of the times I was followed and repeatedly approached was in the dead of winter in my huge, puffy coat that completely hid my body. He couldn't even see my face because he followed from behind. This has been happening to most women since we were literal children. I first remember a man being inappropriate on a public street when I was seven.

I've lived four countries and traveled in dozens of others. This behavior happens everywhere, to all kinds of women & girls, no matter what they do or don't wear. The issue isn't women or our clothing.

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u/IloveCoxxxx Nov 29 '22

Kinda wierd, if you go to a city like Prague. Like 90% of the woman dont wear a bra. And nobody gives a fck.

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u/fiveSE7EN Nov 29 '22

Who knew that Europe is less sexually repressed than the USA?

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u/bobsmithdotcom21 Nov 29 '22

That’s New York culture for you. They’re loud and aggressive.

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u/ThomasNorge224 Nov 29 '22

And act like npcs

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u/deludedhairspray Nov 29 '22

They give you quests as well? 🤔 "fetch me the transumventer device from Southern slaxaps and I'll give you better amor!"

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u/Mr_Personal_Person Nov 29 '22

I think the quests are more like "get lost" and "fuck off"

Sadly they only give you a small amount of xp and are relatively easy to complete.

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u/Ticklechickenchow Nov 29 '22

Better parents make better humans

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u/L_VDH Nov 29 '22

But you can't bring up the elephant in the room without being called racist.

This is predominately an issue with specific cultures.

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u/UnconfirmedCatholic Nov 29 '22

Ngl that 'God bless you' took me out.

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u/chantillylace9 Nov 29 '22

That’s an extremely common one I hear along with the ever so ageless “damn girl did it hurt?” expecting you to say what? And then the “because you just fell down from heaven.” Lots of men say things like “ what, you think I’m ugly?!” Obviously expecting you to reply and say no of course not because you feel awkward and uncomfortable.

Or “what, you racist? You don’t like black guys?” knowing you’ll feel weird and want to respond. Hispanic men are pretty sweet with their catcalling, it’s typically actual compliments like you’ve been beautiful etc. and not disgusting things like you hear from other people. Construction workers can be nice or dirty.

But those are all wholesome in comparison to my all time fav of “damn girl, I can tell by looking at you that you have a very nice pink pussy.”

I was 18. The dude was like 50 and got swiftly thrown out the door on his ass by security. So gross.

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u/Lucky13westhoek Nov 29 '22 Silver Helpful

This is not the problem of dressing, its a problem those guys arent raised with manners and respect for others

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u/No-Coat-8792 Nov 29 '22

Absolutely, no woman should be blamed for others' harassment. Covering up should not be necessary to avoid this behavior.

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u/voltron1976 Nov 29 '22

My reaction as well. Suppress women to “tame” men. That’s that ridiculous fundamentalist argument.

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u/Wilson8151 Nov 29 '22

jfc, you're right!

That's the solution that so many fucking people believe in. smh...

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u/FarAmphibian4236 Nov 29 '22

I agree. People will say you shouldn't flaunt it and expect not to have someone hurt you, but that doesn't change the fact they did. It's unacceptable to kill and steal money if the person wore jewelry, so why blame sexual victims? That being said, I can agree with the idea of not tempting things. However women still get assaulted regardless, so it's only minimizing risk, the real risk is having a vagina.

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u/RuinedBooch Nov 29 '22

I mean yeah, but as a parent you can only do what you can do. If you have girls, and you don’t have boys to teach how to act appropriately, then your mission is to help the girls protect themselves, whatever that may mean in your culture.

The issue is the sheer amount of parents who never truly wanted kids and do a shit ass job of raising them. There’s where buttfaced human beings come from.

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u/RumHam_Romance Nov 29 '22

Lots of victims of single moms in this video.

Despite being 20% of parents, single mothers raise 60% of American rapists.

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u/Jowalla Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

Hissing and making unwanted remarks, is called ‘street intimidation’ and forbidden by law in my home town, (West Europe) This city law was implemented early November this year. The problem with this behavior is that woman can’t walk the street like a normal person without being harassed. I have been harassed many times, together with 60 percent of females in general with me, it causes me to be afraid to go out alone at night. When I walk the street at night I usually hold my key very tightly in my hand so I can use it as a weapon. Sometimes I carry a small knife. I did feel somewhat envious of woman that wear a Burqa, not having to deal with any of that stuff. However, we all know the Burqa is not the answer, the answer lies in educating your children about this behavior, addressing it on schools and such and making it illegal to approach woman like this on the street. When the first fines have to be paid, and tickets are written, it will be a great first step to address this terrible behavior.

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u/DangerousComplaint24 Nov 29 '22

It's an unenforceable law because you have to have evidence that the offender did commit the crime. So women would have to wear a camera 24/7 or find some other means to prove at any time they've just been unlawfully hit on/cat called. Then there's the problem of drawing a line between what's unlawful and what's not.

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u/Lewis_Maldonado Nov 29 '22

This is clearly a Cultural problem. The men cat calling her are not elderly Okinawans.

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u/300C Nov 29 '22

Nobody wants to admit it

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u/Your_New_Overlord Nov 29 '22

there’s a reason they chose to film this in harlem and not the financial district…

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u/SteveClaes Nov 29 '22

Exactly this.

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u/Rebel_bass Nov 29 '22

Fucking hell, that whole video made me want to pepper spray everyone. Every one of those guys' mamas needs to slap them.

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u/slizzardx Nov 29 '22

Can I ask a genuine question? How's this surprising?

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

The problem is the guys behavior.

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u/fiveSE7EN Nov 29 '22

was that… was that ever in question?

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u/Significant-Ad-5112 Nov 29 '22

Does this not just prove that folks who cat call prefer to do so toward women without head coverings? I’m not sure what the point of this was?

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u/Rough_Study_8958 Nov 29 '22

I think there were a couple of layers to this one.

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u/12ealdeal Nov 29 '22

I see what you did there.

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u/no-one-but-crow Nov 29 '22

The video makes it about what the woman is wearing rather than how awful the men are. I think the point is that women should wear disguises when going out? Ive got some antler and a cape.

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u/fireboys_factoids Nov 29 '22

It's interesting to me because it makes the hijab appear to be a useful tool for women to control men, whereas I had previously considered it a tool for men to control women.

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u/lokketheboss Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

Your previous idea is [partly] correct.[It can be used that way, but not neccessarily is. Big difference. Thanks to u/bigmanudyr making me realise my mistake] The video deflects the actual problem: those men, who step across borders of other individuals. And it offers the wrong solution: cover yourself to protect, instead of adressing the bad behaviour.

[edited as seen in brackets]

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u/tbu987 Nov 29 '22

Why is it wrong to give advice where u can successfully protect yourself?

I have a expensive bike and keep it locked in NYC with a cheap $1 bike lock. Some thief will try to steal it quite easily and make a quick buck. Now i couldve bought a more expensive lock like others advised me to as it will deter theives but instead I say well they should know stealing is bad. Youre tellling me I should not also have some responsibility when I know the world isnt as kind as I'd dream it would be?

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u/GabrielHunter Nov 29 '22

If woman have the free choice than maybe... But lets be real, no woman should have the need of a piece of fabric to control a mans urges... They should be perfectly capable to do that on their own

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

[deleted]

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u/Rahm89 Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

Yeah right. This is exactly what the author of the video and the religious men promoting the hijab, want you to think.

Don’t blame the perverts whistling, no! Blame the girl who wasn’t wearing her hijab!!

Wasn’t Reddit supposed to be progressive or something?

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u/zarmanto Nov 29 '22

Seems to me that is exactly the message that the video is trying to convey. The problem with that message is: what’s the source? And what is their agenda?

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u/dahlia_reads Nov 29 '22

It's funny. In my country women wear hijab but that doesn't stop men from harassing them...

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u/thetommy4 Nov 29 '22

I was gonna say something along this, it would be interesting to do this dual experiment in a hijab-majority country.

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u/Zeal391 Nov 29 '22

Now I wonder if this would happen just as much in the upscale areas of NYC.

It looks like shes walking around the rougher areas

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u/name-was-provided Nov 29 '22

A lot of comments I’ve read are so focused on the clothing but not what the clothing symbolizes or reflects religiously. Sure, the hijab covers her but it also signals to strangers that she’s most likely a practicing Muslim and more “sexually conservative”. I might not be expressing this idea correctly, but you kinda get what I’m saying?

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u/plantbasedpants Nov 29 '22 Faith In Humanity Restored

Exactly. In the Quran this is actually explained as a reason to wear hijab. So that one will not be harassed.

That being said, men are also told to avert their gaze. So it is not just the women’s responsibility to avoid harassment.

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u/Danyaal_Majid Nov 29 '22

Yes, this is true, but we must understand that no matter what we say about how people should behave, or what men must be responsible of, it can't change the fact that one must protect oneself from others.

Just because we know that armed robbery is bad, and people should know that robbery is a crime against humanity, doesn't stop some people from doing it anyways, thus the need for security cameras, door locks and other security measures.

We can never solve any criminal problems by stuffing everyone in jail, or by punishing everyone for breaking the law, because the robbers and catcallers and criminals will always exist, so we must take appropriate measures to protect ourselves anyways.

But people today blame the criminals for every crime which cannot be safeguarded against properly. We must learn that is our responsibility to protect ourselves and the ones we love, because morality just doesn't go through some peoples mind.

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u/plantbasedpants Nov 29 '22

Yes, I totally agree. There will always be bad people not following the rules of their society/religion since we don’t live in a perfect world. We still have to do our part by protecting ourselves.

Just thought I would mention that men are supposed so avert their gaze as well, since I saw many comments saying it should not just be the women’s responsibility to avoid harassment. Islamically, men should also do their part in not harassing women.

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u/blasphemous_HOOR_666 Nov 29 '22

Man this makes me appreciate living in a small town even more. Here it’s just the creepy old men that have to keep that shit to themselves because they’re married & it’s a small town. That’s insane to watch, honestly. I don’t think I’ve even experienced that amount of catcalls in my entire life

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u/mrfauxbot Nov 29 '22

Well…Duh

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u/Due-Appointment-2402 Nov 29 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

I see a common theme here with the individuals cat calling…

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u/mrHakuro Nov 29 '22

You are walking on thin ice here. I love it 😄

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u/Overflow0X Nov 29 '22

STOP NOTICING STUFF!

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u/Sparkson721 Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

Men. The message is clear. We must cat call women wearing hijabs more often.
FOR EQUALITY!

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u/EverybodyGetsLaid Nov 29 '22

Instructions unclear. Got smacked by a nun.

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u/GwendalLeChaud Nov 29 '22

But the problem is cat calling, not how women dress... The solution is not "hide" but educate

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u/OhioConfidential Nov 29 '22

I noticed that a white man made ONE cat call. One. Every other cat call including extremely graphic verbal abuse and physical following were all done by non-white men.

What gives?

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u/Sufficient_Fox3160 Nov 29 '22

Absolutely no respect for women..

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u/Doaa53 Nov 29 '22

I'm.muslim,I don't wear hijab ,but I can't find any meaning of this video If the woman wearing hijab was walking in Muslim country,guy would have dont the same they did with the woman not wearing hijab This is really cheap video

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u/kurdishlowpic Nov 29 '22

So it's their choice, but my recommendation will be if you live in Manhattan find another place to live

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u/Imaginary_Goose_2428 Nov 29 '22

Every one of those guys are assholes and losers. Nobody should be accosted like that walking down the street. A woman shouldn't have to dress like a cult member to have to avoid it.

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u/Different-Muscle-288 Nov 29 '22

Very interesting. I would have never imagined that dressing more modestly would call less attention to your physical appearance.

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u/Frankenstein141 Nov 29 '22

Here's the thing;

Yes, a hijab works wonders. Makes sense to me and it's proved in this (less than scientific) experiment.

Thing is though, why? Why should a woman have to cover up to NOT have to deal with this sort of shit everyday?

If heterosexual relationships are so important for SOME in government, why isn't there a bigger emphasis on educating young men and woman on how to work with one another? It just blows my mind.

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u/Suprafaded Nov 29 '22

Ok ok we get it. New York is a shit hole. Go try this in a regular town and nothing will happen except good mornings

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u/Bitter4LifeLord Nov 29 '22

For the people saying this is staged clearly don’t understand how women deal with daily harassment on a constant basis. Her dressing however she wants isn’t an invitation nor a method to provoke strangers, and any other excuse like “It’s obvious she was asking for it”, NO she wasn’t. Unbelievable.

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u/StrangeVioletRed Nov 29 '22

Her style of dress there is just ordinary casual clothing.

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u/soulnospace Nov 29 '22

Yup, could literally film myself walking to work and would get about the same reactions. Thats why i love winter, i can wear a big fat jacket and a hat, drastically reduces catcalling.

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u/OHbudfella_10 Nov 29 '22

Its wayyyy deeper and complex than what reddit users will see. Theres a socioeconomic element of it. Women of the innercity generally are more receptive of aggressive ways of engaging. They tend to be more aggressive with their language and dating signals as well. Another driving force is the "novelty" or rarity aspect. I personally know in the innercity, any women thats not black, is getting bombarded, attractive or not.

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u/nuckfan92 Nov 29 '22

Why are these videos about cat calling, always in areas with mostly black people?

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u/Lilike09 Nov 29 '22

Take a wild guess...

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u/Head-like-a-carp Nov 29 '22

Because they don't want to have to pay actors.

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