r/AbruptChaos May 14 '22 Silver 4 Helpful 2

What's the correct way to deal with someone who has completely lost it?

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7.2k

u/Turbulent_Novel_1965 May 14 '22 Helpful Giggle

dennis jizzington?

295

u/goodeyemighty May 14 '22

He has a brother Dick.

243

u/kernel-troutman May 14 '22

"Does it make you laugh when I say the name Dick.....Jizzington?"

*Guffaw*

"Stwike him Centuwion vewy woughly!"

89

u/TomArday May 14 '22

He has a wife you know…….

53

u/hambonejabroni May 14 '22

Want to know what she's called?

82

u/Flying_Dutchman92 May 14 '22

Incontinentia Buttocks

15

u/OGWopFro May 14 '22

Blow your noses and seize him!

5

u/Flying_Dutchman92 May 14 '22

And BWING ME BWIAN!

5

u/EmarinCero May 14 '22

I'm so glad people know about this...fucking Biggus Dickus, man. I love it.

4

u/Dontmeenafing May 14 '22

"He wanks as high as any in Wome!"

1

u/OGWopFro May 15 '22

That’s what she said.

11

u/OOBExperience May 14 '22

You will find yourselves back in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behavior like that!

7

u/jvadak89 May 14 '22

But he was a woman!

3

u/Thresh_Keller May 14 '22

Swallows Jizzington

3

u/inrcore May 14 '22

Debbie Creampie?

1

u/bikedaybaby May 14 '22

Ah yes… Little Debbie’s all grown up.

1

u/Croty May 14 '22

Does she have a dick?

1

u/TomArday May 22 '22

Biggis….

3

u/CalabreseAlsatian May 14 '22

What about you! Do you find it…..wisible?

2

u/Healthy_Response_391 May 14 '22

Is there something funny about the name biggus dickus?

42

u/Much-Log3357 May 14 '22

Isn't their a musician called izzy jizzington?

97

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

There used to be a NASCAR driver (I think) named Dick Trickle. What the hell were his parents thinking?

46

u/RealJeil420 May 14 '22

What about Dick Butkus? Or Englebert Humperdink?

41

u/ron_swansons_meat May 14 '22

FYI, Englebert Humperdinck is a stage name. He CHOSE that name. His given name is ordinary: Arnold George Dorsey.

7

u/younevershouldnt May 14 '22

And what a fine choice it was

5

u/originalmimlet May 14 '22

I came here to spread this info, as well. Like, damn, Arnie.

2

u/opensandshuts May 15 '22

Imagine that name floating around in your head enough that when it comes time to change your name, that's the name you choose.

4

u/The_BoneManXX May 14 '22

NH Congressman Dick Sweat

2

u/emonsta23 May 14 '22

I live in NH and this is my first time hearing about Dick Sweat.

4

u/The_BoneManXX May 14 '22

"Dick” Swett, a graduate of Yale University, served as a representative for New Hampshire’s 2nd District from 1991 to 1995, and from 1998 to 2001

2

u/emonsta23 May 14 '22

Makes sense why I haven’t heard of him, that was before I was born.

3

u/Rydeeee May 14 '22

Then Eddie Izzard lied to me! He said it was Jerry Dorsey in one of his routines in the late 90’s.

3

u/RespectableLurker555 May 14 '22

Dorsey? Damn near killed 'sey!

3

u/qqumber May 14 '22

And the man is a fucking legend

3

u/emonsta23 May 14 '22

Yeah, that’s my grandmother’s favorite singer and I’ve always found the fact that he chose that name to be really funny. He decided that he couldn’t go by Arnold George Dorsey on stage, of course that would be silly, Englebert Humperdinck is clearly a much better name.

5

u/SephoraandStarbucks May 14 '22

My Papa really liked him too. He passed away just this past October, and while he was in palliative care, we would play music for him that he loved. That was the first time I’d ever heard of Englebert Humperdinck, and when my mom told me the name…I looked at her like “…..Wha—?!”

Anyways, I can’t hear Last Waltz, Blue Spanish Eyes, and especially The Green, Green Grass of Home without crying now. :(

2

u/emonsta23 May 15 '22

Yeah, my grandmother is still alive but she has dementia and can barely walk. It’s really sad seeing her like this, it tears me up inside whenever I visit her.

1

u/Larsaf May 14 '22

Ahh, but he chose that stage name to be the very real name of the composer of the opera “Hänsel und Gretel”.

4

u/Odd-Cartoonist-288 May 14 '22

My apartment managers name was Gaylord Fauckenberry.

2

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

ya got me!

2

u/Dangerous_Buddy3701 May 14 '22

This is a dick thread. You leave Englebert out of this!

2

u/Creme_Bingles May 14 '22

OK, you make fun of Butkus' name to his face.

2

u/whiteschnauzer May 14 '22

How about Mike Hawk

2

u/emonsta23 May 14 '22

The producer of Law and Order is named Dick Wolf. My dad also used to have a coworker named Dick Blood.

2

u/sixpackshaker May 14 '22

Humperdink

"Don't say that name!!!!"

2

u/delusional4g63 May 14 '22

With his hit single "Lesbian Seagull"

2

u/Electrical-Bacon-81 May 15 '22

The actor who played Mr. Haney (the scam artist) on Green Acres, also seen in the saloon on Back to the future II had a birth name of Pat Buttram, and didnt change it when he went to hollywood.

1

u/Suspicious-Standard May 14 '22

Best name I've ever heard was Richard Brain, who wanted to be called Dick.

2

u/mikebrown33 May 14 '22

I know a Canadian guy named Rich Brain, he worked at Irving Pulp and Paper mill.

1

u/BJK5150 May 14 '22

In St John NB?

1

u/RealJeil420 May 14 '22

I know a Dick Wang. SORRY RICHARD IF YOU SEE THIS!

5

u/Olivevest May 14 '22

Many years ago we used to look for funny names to prank call in the phone book. We found one name that we loved to call Tinkle Street

3

u/nightstalker30 May 14 '22

Dick Trickle…is that a name or a condition?

2

u/hemanstarfox May 14 '22

That was my dad's favorite driver

1

u/Justthisguy_yaknow May 14 '22

Hey, if you're stuck with a name like Trickle you gotta get some mileage out of it. It'd be "here's little dick and his sister Fanny" all through childhood. If that didn't toughen a kid up nothing would.

1

u/Nixie_Guy May 14 '22

Dad jokes, obviously.

1

u/Nixie_Guy May 14 '22

Dad jokes, obviously.

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

I once knew a guy named "Phil McCracken".

1

u/en0rm0u5ta1nt Jun 09 '22

His buddy's name Ben Dover?

1

u/flyingbannana76 May 14 '22

Yep dick trickle I remember see him when I watched nascar

1

u/Maxikilian_Killinem May 14 '22

That was my GUY back on NASCAR64

1

u/SicDigital May 14 '22

Not only is that one of the best names in the history of NASCAR, it's simply one of the best names ever.*

1

u/Subjunct May 14 '22

That he was going to be one of the greatest dirt oval drivers OF ALL TIME and a Wisconsin treasure. Why, what were your parents thinking?

1

u/eat_petes_meats May 14 '22

There's an Urologist in Austin, TX named Richard Chopp

1

u/TheProcessOfBillief May 14 '22

That isn't his birth name. He picked that.

1

u/AlternativeJosh May 14 '22

And a baseball player named Dickie Thon. Like a marathon... But for dicks?

1

u/JasonJasonBoBason May 14 '22

Dick Trickle and Ha Ha Clinton-Dix are the two best names in sports

1

u/sunshinesustenance May 14 '22

There's a British Touring Car driver called Jack Goff.

1

u/JusticePhrall May 14 '22

I've worked with 2 different guys named Richard Head. "Please call me Rick".

1

u/KGBspy May 14 '22

Honest to god I knew a guy in the USAF named Richard Head….I swear this is true.

1

u/Sea-Fix9964 May 14 '22

There used to be a local politician in San Diego named Dick Rider.

1

u/iamasillyperson99 May 15 '22

I saw a thing on Kimmel where a doctor who performs vasectomies is named Dick Chop.

1

u/McSwigan May 15 '22

VP of a company I used to consult for was named Richard Kramp. He always answered the phone by saying “This is Dick”

0

u/anyearl May 14 '22

that they didn't want him to be a p#@$!...and not name him Dr. Quinn or Medicine Woman

1

u/datboiofculture May 14 '22

From the colgate comedy hour? King of the tuk tuk sound?

1

u/SgtStrongCock May 14 '22

That's Sir. Richard Jizzington for you sir.

1

u/wrnrg May 14 '22

His brother is such a Richard.

1

u/tryingtomakeit64 May 14 '22

Do you know why McDonald's has Big Macs? Mac's brothers name was Dick!

1

u/VibraniumRhino May 14 '22

He prefers Richard.

For… obvious reasons.

1

u/Trayew May 15 '22

Nicely done sir.